The Student Room Group

Gay Best Friends

Me and my best friends have known each other around 3 years, we met through mutual friends and had a lot in common. We then added each other on Snapchat and agreed to meet up on our own, where we’d sit in the car for hours, talk about life and just gel really well.

Neither of us had strictly ‘come out’ to each other, but we both knew… when we met up we ended up holding hands, and then ended up sat on my lap in the car just talking, hair rubbing, I sat on his lap aswell and could feel he was hard. We then had a little fall out over irrelevant matters, but he quickly got back in touch and things were going smooth as ever. We’d meet up virtually every day, text 24/7 and I felt things were going so perfect.

We stayed close friends, but put the lovey dovey side on the back burner. I was happy as ever and I felt friends was right, as our big friendship group of about 15 people had no idea what was going on. We still flirted with each other loads and spoke about what we wanted to do in the future when we were both ready.

I got to know his family, and he got to know mine, neither aware of the secret little thing we had going on, neither of us have come out to our family. They all thought we were just really good friends. His dad has made jokes saying “when are you gonna marry him”, and I know there’s definitely meaning behind it but what response do you really give to that.

We booked a holiday, got away from the UK and stayed in a hotel together. We teased each other, got drunk, was a bit naughty for 7 days in a row, we always spoke about it after and we were both happy with what happened and I practically fell in love. We stared into each others eyes, pretty much “officially” came out and said what we like, we laid there drunk for hours just talking **** to each other, it was crazy. We FaceTimed one of our trusted friends, and probably gave them a little bit too much information, that we both liked lads instead but we was happy for us both and we didn’t really care either. A handful of people know.

When we got back to the UK, it was like nothing ever happened abroad, and we went back to our usual friendship and just kept everything on text. We’d still go on car rides together and he’d always put his hand on my leg, and rub it up until he touched my Crown Jewels. I did the same. We send teasing snaps to each other occasionally too.

We went on holiday again, and we got really sexual with each other again, we had a mate come with us, but when they went out, we had our fun, kissed, we both got hard. One night I fell asleep with my hands in his boxers. Because we had a room mate staying with us, it was all very risky and hush… when we came back to the UK, things just went back to how they were.

We talk about lads loads, and we’ve both sort of agreed that a relationship wouldn’t really be right? But at the same time, I just feel like we’re both scared to come out to the big bad scary world despite putting on this brave face. We’re both really popular, I know people have also been cottoning on to the fact we’ve been very close, not had girls and reject any female attention.

I’ve recently started talking to another lad, and him the same… and we’re both really open about it to each other. But since that, we’ve still sort of floated back to each other, but something still doesn’t feel right. I feel I probably want him a little more than he wants me? maybe? but it’s been the first boy I’ve done things with, and for that to be my best friend it feels really good, but really **** at the same time.

We’re booking another holiday soon, and I cannot wait. I just really don’t know whether to ask for more, stay as friends with benefits or whether I should call it a day. The things that happen and the flirting etc. is both of us, never forced, we both really enjoy it. What do I say, ask, think… I’m just lost but it’s driving my insane and the thought of him getting in a relationship with anyone else kind of makes me feel a bit crap because I’m worried we’ll lose what we’ve got.

If that makes any sense?
whilst i was reading this i couldnt help smiling, what you guys have got with each other seems so wholesome!! it's so nice to have someone that you can feel that comfortable around so i'm happy that you guys are doing these things together. as for the last paragraph you sent, i would say talk about it with him. have an open conversation, like you said that you do when you talk about other guys. just ask him whether you would want this to be an official thing, or keep it casual. you said that you seem to want him more than he wants you, but until you guys talk about it you'll never know. maybe he wants something more with you too, and he's afraid that you don't! you both talk to other guys, which may serve as a hint to each other that what you guys have is a strict friends with benefits type situation; but, i think that honestly the best way to go about this is to have a casual conversation about it where you can establish and confirm things. everything you've said makes total sense, and i understand that you're afraid to lose what you've got if he gets into a relationship because if i were you, i definitely would too 💀.

i guess you could start off my saying something like, "i'm not trying to make this a huge thing or anything, but i just wanted to know exactly where you want this thing between us to go", ask him about whether he wants to keep this thing casual, or whether he intends on getting into a relationship. i think that the biggest thing thats gonna help you in communication, that way both of you know what the other person is feeling and it makes things so much easier to untangle and understand. plus you could set boundaries if you have any, or have more serious discussions if needed. he sounds like a good guy, so i hope it goes well : )

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