does anyone else struggle with showing affection in relationships

i'm not a very affectionate person 💀 it mostly stems from childhood experiences, and just how i am in general. i can be affectionate with my friends, but when it comes to guys it's a whole different story. i wouldn't say i'm awkward, because i know how to flirt, and i know when i look most attractive and how to use that if i know me and a guy are kinda feeling each other. i'm good at meaningless flirting, because i'm scared of committment and i'm scared i'd be a rubbish gf because of how i don't really know to to be affectionate in ways that a lot of people like. i'm pretty reserved when it comes to my feelings so idk how to show that in ways that don't seem cliche.
i just always fantasize about being in a relationship, and being healthy and understanding and communicating and all that- but then sometimes in person i'll deep it and i'll be thinking "actually ew no". like, i don't know how to show affection in a relationship without it seeming forced. even if i DO like them- it just always seemed cringey to me. i'm not used to having to show that towards people, or being shown it to me. is there something wrong with me or something? because i always long to have that person that i can be so comfortable to open up to and just share all my traumas and life experiences, but i can't. it's like there's a barrier between me and everyone i meet that means i can't fully give myself to them or fully "like" them enough. idk how to explain it- does that make sense?