The Student Room Group

Anxious Parent

Hi, my daughter is at Uni in Liverpool and is doing really well. She's going to show in Manchester on Saturday night and will be getting the last train home with a friend. I know she's sensible and with someone so why do I feel so anxious about her being out in a different city on a Saturday night?
Aw all your feelings are completely valid! Your baby is growing up and finding her feet, It is hard not to be anxious in this situation but the great thing is she is going with a friend and I am sure they will keep each other safe. Just let her know you are feeling this way and ask if she wouldn't mind updating you throughout the night to ensure she is okay! I am sure she would be happy to do so I can imagine she can understand how you are feeling at the moment.
Reply 2
Original post by jcurry1234
Aw all your feelings are completely valid! Your baby is growing up and finding her feet, It is hard not to be anxious in this situation but the great thing is she is going with a friend and I am sure they will keep each other safe. Just let her know you are feeling this way and ask if she wouldn't mind updating you throughout the night to ensure she is okay! I am sure she would be happy to do so I can imagine she can understand how you are feeling at the moment.

Thanks, the more I think about the worse I feel. She's been in London for a couple of nights last Xmas and although I was worried she did completely fine. She will update me, as she did in London last Saturday and i have her on snapmaps, I think it's more to do with her catching the last train back, just in case she misses it or it's cancelled that's worrying me.
Original post by Mamsemily
Thanks, the more I think about the worse I feel. She's been in London for a couple of nights last Xmas and although I was worried she did completely fine. She will update me, as she did in London last Saturday and i have her on snapmaps, I think it's more to do with her catching the last train back, just in case she misses it or it's cancelled that's worrying me.

That is great that she is happy to update you with where she is etc... definitely half the battle! She could possibly get a taxi but obviously this will be expensive, worst case scenario they could sit in a McDonalds all night (obviously not ideal but at least there will be people around) There are trains that start from 5.30am i believe? catch the earliest train the following morning but of course this is worst case scenario, it is likely she will make the train as she knows it will be the last one for a while! I am sure she will be there with plenty of time.
Reply 4
Original post by jcurry1234
That is great that she is happy to update you with where she is etc... definitely half the battle! She could possibly get a taxi but obviously this will be expensive, worst case scenario they could sit in a McDonalds all night (obviously not ideal but at least there will be people around) There are trains that start from 5.30am i believe? catch the earliest train the following morning but of course this is worst case scenario, it is likely she will make the train as she knows it will be the last one for a while! I am sure she will be there with plenty of time.

Thanks it does help to get someone else's perspective.
My elder son went to Manchester for an event early in his time at another university (and he was travelling alone)... as I recall something did go wrong and he didn't get the intended train back. He did get back OK but had to spend a bit more money on a different ticket I think and do some hanging about. Learned some useful lessons about unplanned expenses and budgetting!
Reply 6
Original post by dirtmother
My elder son went to Manchester for an event early in his time at another university (and he was travelling alone)... as I recall something did go wrong and he didn't get the intended train back. He did get back OK but had to spend a bit more money on a different ticket I think and do some hanging about. Learned some useful lessons about unplanned expenses and budgetting!

I've told her to get an uber back if she misses the train, the show finishes at 10pm so she should catch it OK x
Original post by Mamsemily
Hi, my daughter is at Uni in Liverpool and is doing really well. She's going to show in Manchester on Saturday night and will be getting the last train home with a friend. I know she's sensible and with someone so why do I feel so anxious about her being out in a different city on a Saturday night?

Totally understand it. Our daughter in Lancaster and to start with was worrying about how she would settle, like the city and all of that. Then Lancaster became that 'safe space' so when ever she went to Manchester to see her boyfriend, I would always have her text me to make sure she was on the train to her home to start with. But all i do now is just ask her to make she her phone is fully charged and shes got her card if she needed it.
Your daughter is with a friend so thats good. It might be because its the last train do you think? They are not reliable things are they?
Fellow Parent here!

It’s normal to worry about their safety and it’s worse again when you worry you’re not there if anything should happen.

My DD is now 23 and I remember the anxiety well.

Maybe talk through emergency alternative strategies and trust that your parenting has left them able to cope!
Ask her to message you asap when she’s home so you can relax.

The most likely scenario is that she’ll have a great night and get that last train back. X
Reply 9
Original post by Ghostlady
Totally understand it. Our daughter in Lancaster and to start with was worrying about how she would settle, like the city and all of that. Then Lancaster became that 'safe space' so when ever she went to Manchester to see her boyfriend, I would always have her text me to make sure she was on the train to her home to start with. But all i do now is just ask her to make she her phone is fully charged and shes got her card if she needed it.
Your daughter is with a friend so thats good. It might be because its the last train do you think? They are not reliable things are they?

Yeah I think I'm more anxious about her missing the last train, or that the train is full of drunk people with it being a Saturday night. She was in London last weekend and got there and back fine. She's going to share her live location with me for the day x
Reply 10
Original post by Antique1
Fellow Parent here!
It’s normal to worry about their safety and it’s worse again when you worry you’re not there if anything should happen.
My DD is now 23 and I remember the anxiety well.
Maybe talk through emergency alternative strategies and trust that your parenting has left them able to cope!
Ask her to message you asap when she’s home so you can relax.
The most likely scenario is that she’ll have a great night and get that last train back. X

Yeah I know there is probably nothing to worry about, she's with a friend, they are going to try and get the earlier traiin but it depends on how long it takes them to get out of the venue, so most likley it will be the last train, she's going to share her live location with me, hopefully she will have a great time x
Original post by Mamsemily
Hi, my daughter is at Uni in Liverpool and is doing really well. She's going to show in Manchester on Saturday night and will be getting the last train home with a friend. I know she's sensible and with someone so why do I feel so anxious about her being out in a different city on a Saturday night?

Hi @Mamsemily

I can understand your anxiety. Lately it seems trains haven’t been very reliable however, I’m sure your daughter will be fine - especially since she is travelling with a friend.

I’ve had a quick look and it appears that there’s no trains between Manchester and liverpool after half 11 however, there does seem to be a coach that leaves Manchester coach station for liverpool bus station at 1 am. Perhaps that could be something to keep in mind as a back up option. Of course as others have suggested she could also take a taxi although I’m not sure how much that would cost.

I hope your daughter has a fab time.

Tineke
Lancaster University Student Ambassador
Reply 12
Original post by Lancaster Student Ambassador
Hi @Mamsemily
I can understand your anxiety. Lately it seems trains haven’t been very reliable however, I’m sure your daughter will be fine - especially since she is travelling with a friend.
I’ve had a quick look and it appears that there’s no trains between Manchester and liverpool after half 11 however, there does seem to be a coach that leaves Manchester coach station for liverpool bus station at 1 am. Perhaps that could be something to keep in mind as a back up option. Of course as others have suggested she could also take a taxi although I’m not sure how much that would cost.
I hope your daughter has a fab time.
Tineke
Lancaster University Student Ambassador

Thanks for taking the time to reply, there is now another 2 friends getting the same train, I check and a taxi is about £70 so if they do miss the last train they can share a taxi back x
Original post by Mamsemily
Hi, my daughter is at Uni in Liverpool and is doing really well. She's going to show in Manchester on Saturday night and will be getting the last train home with a friend. I know she's sensible and with someone so why do I feel so anxious about her being out in a different city on a Saturday night?

Hi there,

I am not a parent but I can understand the anxiety and fear that comes with having your child be away from home. I moved to university from another country and was also 17 when I can so it was a lot to adjust with, and my mum was also really worried about me managing in a different environment by myself.

But what I would say is that we as kids also have the same anxiety about going places and take caution because of that. That may be why she knows to go with a friend because it is a lot safer and better to manage any crisis that might happen.

The worry is definitely normal and not an overreaction. It really is just about trusting that your daughter would apply all the knowledge you have taught her about being safe and ensuring she is communicating with you throughout the trip.

Best wishes,
Lancaster University Student Ambassador,
Glory.
Reply 14
Original post by Lancaster Student Ambassador
Hi there,
I am not a parent but I can understand the anxiety and fear that comes with having your child be away from home. I moved to university from another country and was also 17 when I can so it was a lot to adjust with, and my mum was also really worried about me managing in a different environment by myself.
But what I would say is that we as kids also have the same anxiety about going places and take caution because of that. That may be why she knows to go with a friend because it is a lot safer and better to manage any crisis that might happen.
The worry is definitely normal and not an overreaction. It really is just about trusting that your daughter would apply all the knowledge you have taught her about being safe and ensuring she is communicating with you throughout the trip.
Best wishes,
Lancaster University Student Ambassador,
Glory.

Thank you for replying it's nice to have a students perspective too, she is a very sensible person, and I'm sure she'll have a ball and on Sunday I'll be thinking what was I worrying about 😆 x
Original post by Mamsemily
Hi, my daughter is at Uni in Liverpool and is doing really well. She's going to show in Manchester on Saturday night and will be getting the last train home with a friend. I know she's sensible and with someone so why do I feel so anxious about her being out in a different city on a Saturday night?

How did the trip go?
Reply 16
Original post by Antique1
How did the trip go?

It went well, she had a fab time and got back safe, she shared her location and I stayed up until she got back. Thanks for asking x
Original post by Mamsemily
It went well, she had a fab time and got back safe, she shared her location and I stayed up until she got back. Thanks for asking x

Great! That’s good news! 😊
Original post by Mamsemily
Hi, my daughter is at Uni in Liverpool and is doing really well. She's going to show in Manchester on Saturday night and will be getting the last train home with a friend. I know she's sensible and with someone so why do I feel so anxious about her being out in a different city on a Saturday night?

Just let her know that if she misses the last train, there are also night buses run by National Express that start in the early hours and that she should check their website, just in case.

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