The Student Room Group

Coworker won't leave me alone after rejecting me

So there is this girl I work with who seemed attracted initially so I shot my shot. It hit the rim but missed (I asked for her number but she said her phone didn't work, but was using it earlier) so I decided she probably wants me gone so I left her alone.
A week passed with me barely talking to her and not initiating conversation like I did before (I only talked to her for 3 weeks) and she confronted me asking why I'm so "Dry" with her. I diverted the conversation and told her "I'm talking to you now" and kept it moving.
Since then she constantly tries to talk to me and be close to me where its unnecessary. She'll literally go across the store to ask me about a product in the store I dont deal with instead of a nearby manager. Even tried to touch me on a few occassions but I had to politely move away. Why is she acting this way?
from a girl's perspective, i think maybe she just wants attention from you. not in like an arrogant way, but sometimes with me, if i know a guy likes me then i'll try and get his attention and keep the "friendliness" going because it makes me feel good- even if i don't really like him back that much. that or she might feel bad for rejecting you, and she wants to be friends. since you said you only talked to her for 3 weeks, she may just regret saying no and is tryna pull you in bit by bit, or she feels bad and she wants to keep you as a friend and not TOTALLY stop talking to you. which might explain her behaviour. but since she didn't really do that before i'm a bit confused ngl with what her issue is 💀. so, maybe ask her straight up. what you did with leaving her alone i think was a sensible option to be honest, but maybe just ask her something like, "i don't want to sound accusing or anything, but is there a reason why you've been acting a little more close to me lately?" and maybe ask if it has anything to do with you asking her out and her saying no. i think that's probably the best course of action. i hope that helped- but if i said anything unhelpful i'm honestly sorry 😭
Reply 2
Ask her.
Reply 3
Maybe she wants you as a friendly colleague but not a love interest
Reply 4
Original post by Zarek
Maybe she wants you as a friendly colleague but not a love interest

Possible, but friendly colleagues respect boundaries. Also every other young guy under 30 goes and tries to talk to her, and I'm the only one in that age group that doesn't pay her much mind or initiate conversation.
Original post by jazz2k15
So there is this girl I work with who seemed attracted initially so I shot my shot. It hit the rim but missed (I asked for her number but she said her phone didn't work, but was using it earlier) so I decided she probably wants me gone so I left her alone.
A week passed with me barely talking to her and not initiating conversation like I did before (I only talked to her for 3 weeks) and she confronted me asking why I'm so "Dry" with her. I diverted the conversation and told her "I'm talking to you now" and kept it moving.
Since then she constantly tries to talk to me and be close to me where its unnecessary. She'll literally go across the store to ask me about a product in the store I dont deal with instead of a nearby manager. Even tried to touch me on a few occassions but I had to politely move away. Why is she acting this way?

What's the problem with saying "I'm not being 'dry', just I asked for your number, I thought you made an excuse about your phone, which I figured meant you wanted me to leave you alone. So I'm just leaving you alone'?
Original post by jazz2k15
So there is this girl I work with who seemed attracted initially so I shot my shot. It hit the rim but missed (I asked for her number but she said her phone didn't work, but was using it earlier) so I decided she probably wants me gone so I left her alone.
A week passed with me barely talking to her and not initiating conversation like I did before (I only talked to her for 3 weeks) and she confronted me asking why I'm so "Dry" with her. I diverted the conversation and told her "I'm talking to you now" and kept it moving.
Since then she constantly tries to talk to me and be close to me where its unnecessary. She'll literally go across the store to ask me about a product in the store I dont deal with instead of a nearby manager. Even tried to touch me on a few occassions but I had to politely move away. Why is she acting this way?


Perhaps she doesn’t want you gone and she just didn’t expect you to like her, so when you shot ur shot she said no initially and then started to see you more as a friend. Either that or she’s starting to miss the “friendship”. But sometimes u end up catching feeling for ppl u didn’t realise you had feelings for until after they make it known and u regret saying no. It happens
Reply 7
Original post by jazz2k15
So there is this girl I work with who seemed attracted initially so I shot my shot. It hit the rim but missed (I asked for her number but she said her phone didn't work, but was using it earlier) so I decided she probably wants me gone so I left her alone.
A week passed with me barely talking to her and not initiating conversation like I did before (I only talked to her for 3 weeks) and she confronted me asking why I'm so "Dry" with her. I diverted the conversation and told her "I'm talking to you now" and kept it moving.
Since then she constantly tries to talk to me and be close to me where its unnecessary. She'll literally go across the store to ask me about a product in the store I dont deal with instead of a nearby manager. Even tried to touch me on a few occassions but I had to politely move away. Why is she acting this way?

I don't really understand why you're acting so differently towards her just because she didn't give you her number. I get that it's awkward, but it sounds like you were only being friendly in the hopes that it might turn into something more and now you're being cold towards her which she probably sees as quite rude. In that case she may be being extra friendly towards you because she thinks she offended you. My advice is to stop acting dry and just behave as you did before you asked for her number - maybe she'll change her mind in the future but if not, you can just be friends.
Reply 8
Original post by MJ1148
I don't really understand why you're acting so differently towards her just because she didn't give you her number. I get that it's awkward, but it sounds like you were only being friendly in the hopes that it might turn into something more and now you're being cold towards her which she probably sees as quite rude. In that case she may be being extra friendly towards you because she thinks she offended you. My advice is to stop acting dry and just behave as you did before you asked for her number - maybe she'll change her mind in the future but if not, you can just be friends.

Ok several things wrong with this. For starters I never was interested in friendship, we talked for 3 weeks if that so we hadn't established any friendship, so thats not enough time for her to be that emotionally invested. Second I avoided her initially because she lied about her phone and her body language indicated she was uncomfortable/scared, to continue talking to her after that would be idiotic as she would likely bypass me and go to management calling me a creep. Also its rude for me to be cold toward her but its A ok for her to lie to my face and then try to be buddy buddy with me after? Double standard much? I dont do female friends so this was never gonna be avoided. When she asks for work related stuff I answer, and even if she says hi I answer, outside of that I owe her nothing. If this was flipped and some guy was harrassing a girl he rejected you wouldn't be defending the guy and wouldn't care about his feelings. You'd call him a weirdo for harrassing a girl HE rejected.
(edited 3 weeks ago)
Reply 9
Original post by jazz2k15
So there is this girl I work with who seemed attracted initially so I shot my shot. It hit the rim but missed (I asked for her number but she said her phone didn't work, but was using it earlier) so I decided she probably wants me gone so I left her alone.
A week passed with me barely talking to her and not initiating conversation like I did before (I only talked to her for 3 weeks) and she confronted me asking why I'm so "Dry" with her. I diverted the conversation and told her "I'm talking to you now" and kept it moving.
Since then she constantly tries to talk to me and be close to me where its unnecessary. She'll literally go across the store to ask me about a product in the store I dont deal with instead of a nearby manager. Even tried to touch me on a few occassions but I had to politely move away. Why is she acting this way?

Just be honest OP.

Tell her your not a simp who just wants to be her friend and that while she's nice and all, your not going to bother too much unless it's going somewhere.
Original post by Rakas21
Just be honest OP.
Tell her your not a simp who just wants to be her friend and that while she's nice and all, your not going to bother too much unless it's going somewhere.

Yes, tell her that.

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