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How do I get out of a Trio as the third wheel?

I have just realised I am the third wheel in the trio. For the longest time now, I have known these other two 'friends' of mine talk about me. They insist its all good things. Never cared to believe otherwise (I thought we were not that close - we met at the start of this academic year). Anyway, one of them is sort of giving me the cold shoulder now (she acts like she is the boss of us both) whereas the other is being too nice to me (almost fake) which I think is an over-compensation (she gets really uncomfortable with conflict). Talking is not the best approach as the one cold shouldering me (call her the 'boss') is passive aggressive. And the one being extra nice reports everything I say to her. I have never said anything bad; not my thing. It's just exhausting when one acts like I didn't tell them something when obviously the other told her and I have to repeat it so they can "bait me". How do I approach this? I want to remove myself from this without any conflict. How do I get out of this?

Ps: They want me as their "friend" and want us "to hang out properly even after I graduate". I dont. I won't stand another time of them giggling and whispering in the corner leaving me out anymore. Making references to stories and not filling me in. Acting like they are one person and I'm a human ping pong. Basically knowingly or unknowingly leaving me out.
Reply 1
find new people
and be like were over
i hate those friend groups
when u say were over u feel better
their r alwayz better people in life and better friends
Original post by JF ZAK
find new people
and be like were over
i hate those friend groups
when u say were over u feel better
their r alwayz better people in life and better friends


You're right. Everytime I think of leaving, I feel so happy. Sometimes I feel drained hanging out with them. I have always sworn off trios, dunno how I ended up here lol.

I suck at making new friends, but I'm gonna give this a go.
Reply 3
Original post by Briefprofile
You're right. Everytime I think of leaving, I feel so happy. Sometimes I feel drained hanging out with them. I have always sworn off trios, dunno how I ended up here lol.
I suck at making new friends, but I'm gonna give this a go.

u should
it never to late to make new friends
good luck
and its ur EX-friends loss for missing out on a friend like u
Reply 4
Sorry you're going through this.

What to do to extricate yourself from the trio?
Stop calling them
When they call take longer to answer, delay returning their calls till next day r the weekend. This will start to signal to them you're not really interested in their conversation.
They will intensify their efforts in trying to contact you! just keep being polite but brief. if they say they're coming over toyour room whatever, either tell them you're meeting up with someone or invite some other people to your room so when they arrive they don't get the chance to dominate you.
Whatever you used to do to hang out together, stop it! desist from going at the same time. Change your schedule. Be proactive and find new people to walk with in the interim to lunch, activities, parties.
If you bump into them socially, always be light hearted and brief
Don't bad mouth them to anyone, avoid any drama.
They'll soon get the message and find a new pawn.

Be vigilant! they will try and wear you down, they'll might even be more kind & inclusive towards you and you'll wonder whether you're being harsh. It's all part of the ploy because they have long enjoyed you're part in their narccisstic games. Stick to your guns and don't get sucked back into this toxic 'fiendship'.
(edited 3 weeks ago)

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