Strict parents
I’m 15 and my parents have always put a lot of pressure on me and are somewhat emotionally neglecting however throughout secondary school I’ve found my best friends that give the support I should get from my parents and life is great. Although my parents pressure me a lot they have always been pretty relaxed when it came to doing stuff with my friends. I’m really mature for my age and go to a great grammar school with top tear education so I’m not falling behind as well.
Both of my other friend’s parents are reasonably relaxed and they give permission for us to hang out say at a theme park without any adults. However one of my friends who I’ve known for years has really strict parents who coddle her a lot and we often can’t hang out because her parents won’t let us. We’ve always been really understanding and not left her out when her parents say she can’t do it but recently I’ve been feeling a bit annoyed because she judges us when we say what our parents let us do and it just doesn’t seem to bother her when they blatantly treat her like a baby. As much as I love her it just breaks my heart that we keep having to cancel plans because she’s too scared to ride a rollercoaster or her parents won’t let us go to the cinema without an adult.
Her parents don’t like me as well because they think I’m a bad influence (I will never smoke, do drugs, have never been to a party and I don’t swear that often, I do well at school and I’m very polite to adults).
Can someone please give me some advice on what I should do? I can’t keep missing out on the fun I should be having with my friends at this age but I don’t want to lose my best friend.
My mum suggested that we just do some things without her but we went shopping once when she couldn’t come because she was staying with her aunt (which she does literally all the time when we want to hang out) and she got really mad at us even after we double checked it was ok that we go. We sent her pictures and FaceTimed her and I kind of just thought it was really petty. I always encourage my friends to hang out without me if I can’t come because I know that they’ll have a great time and there’s loads of other times when I’ll get to hang out with them so I completely don’t mind!
Both of my other friend’s parents are reasonably relaxed and they give permission for us to hang out say at a theme park without any adults. However one of my friends who I’ve known for years has really strict parents who coddle her a lot and we often can’t hang out because her parents won’t let us. We’ve always been really understanding and not left her out when her parents say she can’t do it but recently I’ve been feeling a bit annoyed because she judges us when we say what our parents let us do and it just doesn’t seem to bother her when they blatantly treat her like a baby. As much as I love her it just breaks my heart that we keep having to cancel plans because she’s too scared to ride a rollercoaster or her parents won’t let us go to the cinema without an adult.
Her parents don’t like me as well because they think I’m a bad influence (I will never smoke, do drugs, have never been to a party and I don’t swear that often, I do well at school and I’m very polite to adults).
Can someone please give me some advice on what I should do? I can’t keep missing out on the fun I should be having with my friends at this age but I don’t want to lose my best friend.
My mum suggested that we just do some things without her but we went shopping once when she couldn’t come because she was staying with her aunt (which she does literally all the time when we want to hang out) and she got really mad at us even after we double checked it was ok that we go. We sent her pictures and FaceTimed her and I kind of just thought it was really petty. I always encourage my friends to hang out without me if I can’t come because I know that they’ll have a great time and there’s loads of other times when I’ll get to hang out with them so I completely don’t mind!
Reply 1
If she is okay with her parents then I guess you thinking they are strict is more your viewpoint than hers.
It's understandable that you want to go out and have fun even if she can't but don't send her pictures of fun times you are having or face time her as her being angry is not out of jealousy but worry that you two will grow apart. Instead send her a text saying you miss her or you wish she were there. These things will make her feel secure and if she knows that you will be her friend whether you hang out together or not then she won't have issues with you leaving her sometimes. I would add this that if you do leave her out a lot then there is a chance that your bond won't be as strong as before and the issue would be more from your side than hers as you might get closer to people who are always around you.
It's understandable that you want to go out and have fun even if she can't but don't send her pictures of fun times you are having or face time her as her being angry is not out of jealousy but worry that you two will grow apart. Instead send her a text saying you miss her or you wish she were there. These things will make her feel secure and if she knows that you will be her friend whether you hang out together or not then she won't have issues with you leaving her sometimes. I would add this that if you do leave her out a lot then there is a chance that your bond won't be as strong as before and the issue would be more from your side than hers as you might get closer to people who are always around you.
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
If she is okay with her parents then I guess you thinking they are strict is more your viewpoint than hers.
It's understandable that you want to go out and have fun even if she can't but don't send her pictures of fun times you are having or face time her as her being angry is not out of jealousy but worry that you two will grow apart. Instead send her a text saying you miss her or you wish she were there. These things will make her feel secure and if she knows that you will be her friend whether you hang out together or not then she won't have issues with you leaving her sometimes. I would add this that if you do leave her out a lot then there is a chance that your bond won't be as strong as before and the issue would be more from your side than hers as you might get closer to people who are always around you.
It's understandable that you want to go out and have fun even if she can't but don't send her pictures of fun times you are having or face time her as her being angry is not out of jealousy but worry that you two will grow apart. Instead send her a text saying you miss her or you wish she were there. These things will make her feel secure and if she knows that you will be her friend whether you hang out together or not then she won't have issues with you leaving her sometimes. I would add this that if you do leave her out a lot then there is a chance that your bond won't be as strong as before and the issue would be more from your side than hers as you might get closer to people who are always around you.
Thanks for the advice that was really helpful!
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