date match- pls advice

So I matched with this guy on a dating app, he seems nice enough and we are able to message, but It seems I lead the conversation and he just answers what I ask tbh. He doesn't ever initiate a conversation, but is very fast if not immediate with his responses.
He has said he doesn't want anything serious which I'm ok with, but I dont really know what he wants from me.
Why is he prompt at replying but never makes the first move himself? I heard from someone who knows him that he is a quiet guy so I let him off the hook a bit there, but I don't know if i should keep on messaging to start convos if he isn't going to try.

Here is where it gets confusing; he opened up about an ex and I was helping him over her. Though he seemed to want to get over her, he admitted part of him wants her back. Why would he be telling me that? I don't want to think i'm a rebound, he seems like an actually decent guy but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't feeling a little conflicted.
He also seems intereted in hanging out with me, so that's why I'm confused, because he openly told me about how his ex didn't work out, and then was asking when I am free. Though he didn't explicitly say 'I wanna hang out', him asking me when I'm free makes it seem like he does want to.

What would you make from this situation?? Pls help I am so confused. Does he see me as a friend he can confide in? Should I stop texting him to see if he will ever reach out...what do i do???

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

We've all had at least once met a guy like that. Tbh this isn't a new issue and I just faced a similar guy friend recently. Definity try ignoring him and see if he texts you first and how long it takes. He might just be stringing you along even if he texts you first. Honestly he doesn't seem to have moved on from his ex so probs not a good choice romantically. I usually would say its best to remain friends but if he makes no effort on his part then he's not worth being friends either. You're just going to get tired and exhausted and overthink everything. I'd recommend to just block him. He's just wasting your time, also him asking whether your free may just be a test. Don't make it seem that you're free even if you are. Make it appear that you are busy and he should be glad that you have taken the time in your busy schedule to talk to him. Otherwise he'll message you anytime and expect you to accommodate him, and he'll take you for granted. But my recommendation BLOCK HIM. He sounds like a RED flag.

Reply 2

Admit-One

Universities Forum Helper

21

Ultimately it's irrelevant why his replies are slow or dry or whatever.

If it is exhausting for you to be putting in more effort, then it's probably right to knock it on the head, because he's unlikely to change.

That said, if you like him or want to know whether you like him, ask to meet up. Lot's of people don't enjoy text ping pong so you may just be using the wrong medium to get to know him.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Admit-One

Ultimately it's irrelevant why his replies are slow or dry or whatever.
If it is exhausting for you to be putting in more effort, then it's probably right to knock it on the head, because he's unlikely to change.
That said, if you like him or want to know whether you like him, ask to meet up. Lot's of people don't enjoy text ping pong so you may just be using the wrong medium to get to know him.

We are supposed to meet up, I told him I'll be free soon enough. But if he doesn't take the initiative to message me by that time then ig we wont meet. I don't want to be the one to be like 'I'm free now' because he's asked me twice when I am around so he knows for sure. I want it to be up to him if he'll actually take the initiative and hmu in due time if yk what i mean

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

We've all had at least once met a guy like that. Tbh this isn't a new issue and I just faced a similar guy friend recently. Definity try ignoring him and see if he texts you first and how long it takes. He might just be stringing you along even if he texts you first. Honestly he doesn't seem to have moved on from his ex so probs not a good choice romantically. I usually would say its best to remain friends but if he makes no effort on his part then he's not worth being friends either. You're just going to get tired and exhausted and overthink everything. I'd recommend to just block him. He's just wasting your time, also him asking whether your free may just be a test. Don't make it seem that you're free even if you are. Make it appear that you are busy and he should be glad that you have taken the time in your busy schedule to talk to him. Otherwise he'll message you anytime and expect you to accommodate him, and he'll take you for granted. But my recommendation BLOCK HIM. He sounds like a RED flag.

Yea the fact that he isn't fully over his ex is defo a red flag and i don't wanna get emotionally attatched to him for that, although he expressed he has no romantic feelings for her, but just cares for her well-being ://
Why do you think he told me in the first place?? I dont wanna be in the middle of it if he actually isn't over her, which he clearly isn't despite him seemingly wanting to. He admits she is toxic, yet he partly wants her back its crazy

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Yea the fact that he isn't fully over his ex is defo a red flag and i don't wanna get emotionally attatched to him for that, although he expressed he has no romantic feelings for her, but just cares for her well-being ://
Why do you think he told me in the first place?? I dont wanna be in the middle of it if he actually isn't over her, which he clearly isn't despite him seemingly wanting to. He admits she is toxic, yet he partly wants her back its crazy

No offense, and I'm not trying to hurt you but he probably is using you as a stepping stone and probably emotional support in a bad way. What guy will admit his feeling to his guy friends, often they'll do it to girls because they won't get any judgement and often girls won't say much and just comfort him. The fact that she was toxic and isn't over her tells it all. Best to stay away. You sound like a really nice person and deserve better.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

No offense, and I'm not trying to hurt you but he probably is using you as a stepping stone and probably emotional support in a bad way. What guy will admit his feeling to his guy friends, often they'll do it to girls because they won't get any judgement and often girls won't say much and just comfort him. The fact that she was toxic and isn't over her tells it all. Best to stay away. You sound like a really nice person and deserve better.

No offense taken! I appreciate the advice, I'll defo try move away and take him with a pinch of salt if we do end up meeting

Reply 7

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

No offense taken! I appreciate the advice, I'll defo try move away and take him with a pinch of salt if we do end up meeting

Good for you! Hope everything works out well for you.💖

date match- pls advice

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Articles for you