seeing my ex advice.

me and my ex boyfriend were together for almost 2 years. We met on a night out at uni and were absolutely inseparable ever since. we were eahcothers first loves ( my first proper relationship) and honestly the relationship was about the healthiest thing you would have ever seen, our families loved each other so much and was all well.

Things sort of went down after Christmas. there's a lot gong on in both our lives, were both doing high pressure courses at university, we both struggle with mental health and I think just had different aims- I was still very much loved up and wanted to spent every second w him and he would rather go and get drunk with his mates. He stated he fell out of love with me and broke up with me and that was that.

We both were still in the xmas holidays at uni so has about a month break from seeing each other ( still facetimed weekly and messaged regularly) but I really was heartbroken,
we then returned to uni and saw each other to catch up. All was going well until we got drunk and ended up going back to his. Whilst neither of us had planned this and has very much a healthy breakup, it kept happening on the regular whereby we both openly said we should stop doing this as we both have a lot of respect for one another and didn't want to fall out, it just kept happening every week after nights ut we would end up together, . I jut hit an emotional point whereby I said if we keep doing this I want an agreement where we dont sleep with anyone else until we figure out what we're doing here. I have an illness that means I have to be really extra safe when it comes to catching any kind of STD and it was makingg me so anxious that he could be sleeping with many other girls whilst sleeping with me and I just kind of hit a wall where I wanted to make that agreement both for the illness and just in general I found to hard for the tohout of him being with other girls before/ after seeing me the night before. he obviously didn't think that agreement was very healthy but sort of sat on it for a while. we kept sleeping together until it was the easter holidays again.
We called during the easter holidays whereby he admitted to still having feelings for me and said when we come back from easter to stop seeing each other as it's too hard for him. I agreed but then after easter he had an immediate change of heart and invited me round immediately. Again I stipulated I wanted to exlusivly sleep together to which he agreed and said he wouldn't sleep with anyone else and neither would I.

But now im at abit of a standpoint. It's summer in 2 months and im unsure how to go about this situation. LOOK I know it's not ideal and I can predict a lot of the advice to be just stop doing it as in no world is it really healthy to be sleeping with your ex. but he admitted to having feelings for me and to be honest I know it would take work but I really want things to work out.

Im unsure to go about the situation - do we just keep sleeping together and hanging out till summer, or do I propose to try and make things work - I worry that it will ruin things and be a breakup all over again but just looking for some advice on the situation as a whole

Reply 1

Surnia

Life & Style Forum Helper

"there's a lot gong on in both our lives, were both doing high pressure courses at university, we both struggle with mental health and I think just had different aims- I was still very much loved up and wanted to spent every second w him"

These were your reasons for breaking up, so what out of those gas changed that you think you could now make it work? Do you still both have a lot going on, have you both resolved the mental health? You're still both at uni, presumably still have different aims. And you are too dependent on him; it's not healthy to spend all your time together, you need separate friends groups and interests, and I suspect that's why you keep sleeping with him; because you think you can't do without him.

Until you have each genuinely sorted out the personal issues that drove you apart there's no point in dragging things out by sleeping together, let alone being together.