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want to confess to this guy but am unsure

i have liked this guy at my uni since meeting him in september. and lets just say he is everything, we have the same interests, same music taste, almost identical experiences at school, etc etc. he also lives near me !!
we hung out a couple of times too- once at christmas and the other we did a trip together to do with the course and decided to hang out in canary wharf and it was brilliant. we also would get the train to uni together and we get along really well.
reading week comes along in march and then back to the last half of uni. (we finished april 11 at my uni). he said he isnt able to do our normal routines of trains coz he got other commitments. i say totally valid and see u next week. next week come and i notice he isnt in, i message him asking if he is alr, he comes back saying he is got a lot on at the moment and apologised. i said that was ok and if he needs any help then i can and he asked me how my week was then i told him and asked it back. (was a bit stupid of me asking it back coz he just said he got something on and he isnt exactly gonna elaborate).
3 weeks pass and he didnt show up for the entire rest of the uni year. he was off and no contact. i messaged him about a week ago, asking if he was ok and if he wanted to meetup. he left me on delivered.
a few days pass and i notice he has resurrected his instagram account, and has posted a couple things on his story (him out with his dad most likely at a couple jazz clubs).
i went to a really great spring ball to do with a society and had a blast and put it on my own story the day after.
i leave it for around 24 hours and notice he has not viewed it. but then he has posted on his own story again. he didnt view mine and yet posted on his own.
i have spoken to about 4 different family members and my friends about the situation and they all say the similar thing. He is probs going through a rough patch and doesnt wanna talk about it. And they also said social media isnt always reliable, he could be posting for different reasons or give the illusion he is fine but he is not.
Just to note this guy is very introverted and shy, never had any female friends before so i get this is a new thing for him. especially as i can be a little energetic and somewhat extroverted so maybe he doesnt feel comfortable speaking about it. he is very much to himself.
Also i havent done anything to this guy, we ended on good terms, i helped him with his essay before reading week, someone cant just have a change of heart over the span of 3 weeks for no reasons, and yeah. he cant have any contact with anyone from my old schools or anything to know about me. So idk i am just kind of confused.
I know for a fact it has nothing to do with me- its IMPOSSIBLE for him to be in a mood with me or have a vendetta or anything coz i havent done anything. I talked to my close friends and family and they all said a similar thing- he is going through something hard and tough and cant talk about it. It could be a 1000 reasons they said and i guess they are right. it reminds me of a friend from my old school- who was off for personal reasons and wouldnt talk etc for about 2 months, so i am guessing its a similar thing??

I am planning on messaging him again tho, after assignments have finished in early May and i see my mate down in southampton and start some work experience. so that'll be a month later. i really REALLY want to tell him how i feel but feel like itll be a lot of pressure on him. i really like him and will not give up on him just yet . i cant go on for long, he needs to know i care and feel for him deeply. i cant keep it bottled up like i did previously with someone else.

I mean it is possible he is building his confidence up via his socials and stuff like that coz his abscence has been for over a month and the postings is only a recent thing?? idk


what should i do???
Reply 1
Hey there! It sounds like you've been through a whirlwind of emotions with this situation, but it's great to see your determination and caring nature shine through.

First and foremost, it's important to acknowledge that you've handled everything with grace and understanding. It's evident that you genuinely care about this person and want to support them through whatever they may be going through.

It's completely natural to feel confused and even a bit anxious when someone you care about suddenly withdraws or becomes distant. However, your friends and family are right in reminding you that there could be a multitude of reasons behind his behaviour that have nothing to do with you. People often deal with personal challenges in different ways, and it's possible that he's struggling with something and finding it difficult to open up.

Your plan to reach out again after your assignments are finished and you've had some time to focus on yourself and your own goals sounds like a good approach. It's important to give him space while also letting him know that you're there for him whenever he's ready to talk or hang out. Your willingness to be patient and understanding speaks volumes about your character.

When you do reach out again, you might want to keep the conversation light and casual, just to check in and see how he's doing. Let him know that you're thinking of him and that you're available if he needs anything, but try not to put too much pressure on him to open up if he's not ready. Sometimes, just knowing that someone cares can make a world of difference.

As for social media, it can be a tricky thing to navigate, especially when it comes to interpreting someone's behavior based on their online activity. Remember that social media is often just a curated snapshot of someone's life, and it doesn't always reflect what's truly going on behind the scenes.

In the meantime, continue focusing on yourself, your studies, and your own well-being. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who uplift you and remind you of your worth. And most importantly, trust in the strength of your connection with this person and remain hopeful that things will work out in the end, whatever that may look like.

You're doing great, and your kindness and empathy will surely make a positive impact on this person's life, whether they realise it now or in the future.

Keep being the wonderful person you are, and things will fall into place in due time. Good luck!
Reply 2
Original post by lucaswww
Hey there! It sounds like you've been through a whirlwind of emotions with this situation, but it's great to see your determination and caring nature shine through.
First and foremost, it's important to acknowledge that you've handled everything with grace and understanding. It's evident that you genuinely care about this person and want to support them through whatever they may be going through.
It's completely natural to feel confused and even a bit anxious when someone you care about suddenly withdraws or becomes distant. However, your friends and family are right in reminding you that there could be a multitude of reasons behind his behaviour that have nothing to do with you. People often deal with personal challenges in different ways, and it's possible that he's struggling with something and finding it difficult to open up.
Your plan to reach out again after your assignments are finished and you've had some time to focus on yourself and your own goals sounds like a good approach. It's important to give him space while also letting him know that you're there for him whenever he's ready to talk or hang out. Your willingness to be patient and understanding speaks volumes about your character.
When you do reach out again, you might want to keep the conversation light and casual, just to check in and see how he's doing. Let him know that you're thinking of him and that you're available if he needs anything, but try not to put too much pressure on him to open up if he's not ready. Sometimes, just knowing that someone cares can make a world of difference.
As for social media, it can be a tricky thing to navigate, especially when it comes to interpreting someone's behavior based on their online activity. Remember that social media is often just a curated snapshot of someone's life, and it doesn't always reflect what's truly going on behind the scenes.
In the meantime, continue focusing on yourself, your studies, and your own well-being. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who uplift you and remind you of your worth. And most importantly, trust in the strength of your connection with this person and remain hopeful that things will work out in the end, whatever that may look like.
You're doing great, and your kindness and empathy will surely make a positive impact on this person's life, whether they realise it now or in the future.
Keep being the wonderful person you are, and things will fall into place in due time. Good luck!

oh em geee thank you so much !! this has actually cleared things up a lot and got me less anxious !! thank u so much 🙂 ❤️

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