Abnormal self conscious problem

I have a really abnormal issue that started in my late teens. I'm very self conscious about it. I'm a male in my late thirties. Most of the time when I ejaculate it is normal but on very rare occasions (can be many months apart), For no reason at all, I will ejaculate a really abnormal amount. Nothing specifically brings this on and nearly every time it has happened, I've been on my own. I once did it into a glass and it was just over 3/4 of a pint. I know this is not normal and can't find any reason why this happens. I never tell anyone about it, even girlfriends as I am so conscious of the reaction. I had one experience with a girl many years ago that I bottled up and still bothers me to this day the memory.
Am I a freak? I think most girls would really hate it if it happened? Should I be so confused and self conscious about it?

I have a really abnormal issue that started in my late teens. I'm very self conscious about it. I'm a male in my late thirties. Most of the time when I ejaculate it is normal but on very rare occasions (can be many months apart), For no reason at all, I will ejaculate a really abnormal amount. Nothing specifically brings this on and nearly every time it has happened, I've been on my own. I once did it into a glass and it was just over 3/4 of a pint. I know this is not normal and can't find any reason why this happens. I never tell anyone about it, even girlfriends as I am so conscious of the reaction. I had one experience with a girl many years ago that I bottled up and still bothers me to this day the memory.
Am I a freak? I think most girls would really hate it if it happened? Should I be so confused and self conscious about it?

Okay, never thought I would reply to a post like this - I can never be sure if it's even real. But if it is, as a girl, I think if this happened to my boyfriend, I know we're in a trusting relationship where I would not judge him for this taking place. So regardless of whether or not it "grosses someone out", it's something you have no control over. Ensure you can trust the person you are with and that they accept you as you are. Even if they didn't, this is just my personal opinion and every individual will be different, it truly isn't the end of the world.