I hate university
I know this is gonna be a long and pointless rant. Don't feel any obligation to read, I just felt I had to say something somewhere. I guess for context before my rant I should preface this by saying I have been diagnosed with severe clinical depression... so do with that info as you will.
I hate it here. I was so optimistic coming into first year. New things to learn, new people to meet, new leaf to turn. It's ****. I'm coming to the end of my second year now and I hate it. I've made no friends. I sit in lectures and no one comes to sit with me or talk to me, including the people who I was considering my friends. Nothing. I live alone in a studio apartment for medical reasons so no flatmates. No noise. Nothing. I can't sleep, I barely eat at this point, like once a day probably. I wake up and see the same empty room. My best friend who is in Manchester is having the time of his life and admittedly he is a social magnet. Everyone on his course loves him, he's always being invited out to do stuff, and he's doing incredibly well in his assessments. I've tried societies, I help people out with their work, gone out for drinks, tried to foster relationships but theres nothing. I can't even find the motivation to do the work, so I'm now failing my course. I've been advised to do an extra year to catch up since apparently I was headed towards a solid 2-1 before I gave up. But that just means another year of this crap. There's almost nothing I care about at this point, and I'm struggling to find motivation to care about living past 25 let alone my degree and continuing career. Everyone told me, going to university will be the best time of your life. You'll meet likeminded people no matter how niche your interests and it'll be the the best 3 years of your life. It's ********. I don't know what I've done wrong but all of it is wrong. And what's worse is I feel like one of the only ones. Everyone else on my course is having a great time, going out, having fun, enjoying the course, living life. Enjoying the prime of their life. And I feel like it's all been wasted. And next year I'm going to finish, and then that will be it. The most fun, most social, most freeing period of my life, was nothing. And it will never be. And if I've failed at that, on easy mode, I don't see much hope for what comes after.
A lot of people tell me it'll get better, or you've just got to wait. If that's what you have to say, kindly leave. I've been waiting for something, anything to get better for years. I'm sick of waiting, and I'm sick of hoping. It only hurts more when you get disappointed.
I hate it here. I was so optimistic coming into first year. New things to learn, new people to meet, new leaf to turn. It's ****. I'm coming to the end of my second year now and I hate it. I've made no friends. I sit in lectures and no one comes to sit with me or talk to me, including the people who I was considering my friends. Nothing. I live alone in a studio apartment for medical reasons so no flatmates. No noise. Nothing. I can't sleep, I barely eat at this point, like once a day probably. I wake up and see the same empty room. My best friend who is in Manchester is having the time of his life and admittedly he is a social magnet. Everyone on his course loves him, he's always being invited out to do stuff, and he's doing incredibly well in his assessments. I've tried societies, I help people out with their work, gone out for drinks, tried to foster relationships but theres nothing. I can't even find the motivation to do the work, so I'm now failing my course. I've been advised to do an extra year to catch up since apparently I was headed towards a solid 2-1 before I gave up. But that just means another year of this crap. There's almost nothing I care about at this point, and I'm struggling to find motivation to care about living past 25 let alone my degree and continuing career. Everyone told me, going to university will be the best time of your life. You'll meet likeminded people no matter how niche your interests and it'll be the the best 3 years of your life. It's ********. I don't know what I've done wrong but all of it is wrong. And what's worse is I feel like one of the only ones. Everyone else on my course is having a great time, going out, having fun, enjoying the course, living life. Enjoying the prime of their life. And I feel like it's all been wasted. And next year I'm going to finish, and then that will be it. The most fun, most social, most freeing period of my life, was nothing. And it will never be. And if I've failed at that, on easy mode, I don't see much hope for what comes after.
A lot of people tell me it'll get better, or you've just got to wait. If that's what you have to say, kindly leave. I've been waiting for something, anything to get better for years. I'm sick of waiting, and I'm sick of hoping. It only hurts more when you get disappointed.
Reply 1
Yikes, start working out cuz thats gunna make u feel a whole lot better, don't let ur medical condition hold u back from feeling confident in ur own skin. And not to be insensitive, but it aint gunna get any better unless u actively make a change to ur life. U make mention of trying hard to make friends, but failed to do so, so u need to fix whatever it is that's making ppl not want to be friends with u.
Ur 25, so it's not all darkness and despair, u have time to make something out of ur life. Have faith in urself and I hope you become better.
Ur 25, so it's not all darkness and despair, u have time to make something out of ur life. Have faith in urself and I hope you become better.
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
Yikes, start working out cuz thats gunna make u feel a whole lot better, don't let ur medical condition hold u back from feeling confident in ur own skin. And not to be insensitive, but it aint gunna get any better unless u actively make a change to ur life. U make mention of trying hard to make friends, but failed to do so, so u need to fix whatever it is that's making ppl not want to be friends with u.
Ur 25, so it's not all darkness and despair, u have time to make something out of ur life. Have faith in urself and I hope you become better.
Ur 25, so it's not all darkness and despair, u have time to make something out of ur life. Have faith in urself and I hope you become better.
I'm 20 lol. I'm saying if I make it to 25 and its still the same I'm gonna go ******* crazy
Reply 3
Original post by Billycatnorbert
I'm 20 lol. I'm saying if I make it to 25 and its still the same I'm gonna go ******* crazy
Lol even better, u got more time to do stuff. Howd u end up where u are tho?
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous
Lol even better, u got more time to do stuff. Howd u end up where u are tho?
what do u mean
I have been in the same situation. Action needs to be realistic and relatively fast. Where you are right now is a confluence of different factors and when you haven't yet had experience of a full time job it can start to feel surreal (and it is surreal) because you have both freedom and yet a sense of no freedom at the same time.
There are depressed people inside and outside of university. The difference is that some of them will be housewives/husbands who get cared for regardless, some will be in jobs that, to some extent, allow them to be on autopilot, some will be out of work.
However you're at university and whilst there can be time to sometimes do nothing, that ends up becoming a waste of time and money and will affect the careers you can apply for if a course isn't finished either there or at a different university.
I always start with environment rather than you yourself. Would I be correct in saying that there is something about the environment (not the people and nothing specifically about you, the actual physical space, the architecture, the landscape, the facilities) that feels uneasy to you?
There are depressed people inside and outside of university. The difference is that some of them will be housewives/husbands who get cared for regardless, some will be in jobs that, to some extent, allow them to be on autopilot, some will be out of work.
However you're at university and whilst there can be time to sometimes do nothing, that ends up becoming a waste of time and money and will affect the careers you can apply for if a course isn't finished either there or at a different university.
I always start with environment rather than you yourself. Would I be correct in saying that there is something about the environment (not the people and nothing specifically about you, the actual physical space, the architecture, the landscape, the facilities) that feels uneasy to you?
(edited 1 year ago)
Reply 6
Original post by Billycatnorbert
what do u mean
like i meant howd u end up in a uni doin a course u dont like, with no friends, crappy life etc
Reply 7
Original post by khane69
like i meant howd u end up in a uni doin a course u dont like, with no friends, crappy life etc
nobody would want to end up in a position like that, and the OP pretty much explains it all. Sometimes uni isn't for everyone but its advertised as this glorified phase of your life you'd undoubtedly get if you go but in reality a massive percentage of people don't get that glorified version of uni
also nobody can tell you what your course is gonna be like or your life is gonna be like at uni because its different for everyone, not like OP could look into the future and still decided to go
Reply 8
Original post by Billycatnorbert
I know this is gonna be a long and pointless rant. Don't feel any obligation to read, I just felt I had to say something somewhere. I guess for context before my rant I should preface this by saying I have been diagnosed with severe clinical depression... so do with that info as you will.
I hate it here. I was so optimistic coming into first year. New things to learn, new people to meet, new leaf to turn. It's ****. I'm coming to the end of my second year now and I hate it. I've made no friends. I sit in lectures and no one comes to sit with me or talk to me, including the people who I was considering my friends. Nothing. I live alone in a studio apartment for medical reasons so no flatmates. No noise. Nothing. I can't sleep, I barely eat at this point, like once a day probably. I wake up and see the same empty room. My best friend who is in Manchester is having the time of his life and admittedly he is a social magnet. Everyone on his course loves him, he's always being invited out to do stuff, and he's doing incredibly well in his assessments. I've tried societies, I help people out with their work, gone out for drinks, tried to foster relationships but theres nothing. I can't even find the motivation to do the work, so I'm now failing my course. I've been advised to do an extra year to catch up since apparently I was headed towards a solid 2-1 before I gave up. But that just means another year of this crap. There's almost nothing I care about at this point, and I'm struggling to find motivation to care about living past 25 let alone my degree and continuing career. Everyone told me, going to university will be the best time of your life. You'll meet likeminded people no matter how niche your interests and it'll be the the best 3 years of your life. It's ********. I don't know what I've done wrong but all of it is wrong. And what's worse is I feel like one of the only ones. Everyone else on my course is having a great time, going out, having fun, enjoying the course, living life. Enjoying the prime of their life. And I feel like it's all been wasted. And next year I'm going to finish, and then that will be it. The most fun, most social, most freeing period of my life, was nothing. And it will never be. And if I've failed at that, on easy mode, I don't see much hope for what comes after.
A lot of people tell me it'll get better, or you've just got to wait. If that's what you have to say, kindly leave. I've been waiting for something, anything to get better for years. I'm sick of waiting, and I'm sick of hoping. It only hurts more when you get disappointed.
I hate it here. I was so optimistic coming into first year. New things to learn, new people to meet, new leaf to turn. It's ****. I'm coming to the end of my second year now and I hate it. I've made no friends. I sit in lectures and no one comes to sit with me or talk to me, including the people who I was considering my friends. Nothing. I live alone in a studio apartment for medical reasons so no flatmates. No noise. Nothing. I can't sleep, I barely eat at this point, like once a day probably. I wake up and see the same empty room. My best friend who is in Manchester is having the time of his life and admittedly he is a social magnet. Everyone on his course loves him, he's always being invited out to do stuff, and he's doing incredibly well in his assessments. I've tried societies, I help people out with their work, gone out for drinks, tried to foster relationships but theres nothing. I can't even find the motivation to do the work, so I'm now failing my course. I've been advised to do an extra year to catch up since apparently I was headed towards a solid 2-1 before I gave up. But that just means another year of this crap. There's almost nothing I care about at this point, and I'm struggling to find motivation to care about living past 25 let alone my degree and continuing career. Everyone told me, going to university will be the best time of your life. You'll meet likeminded people no matter how niche your interests and it'll be the the best 3 years of your life. It's ********. I don't know what I've done wrong but all of it is wrong. And what's worse is I feel like one of the only ones. Everyone else on my course is having a great time, going out, having fun, enjoying the course, living life. Enjoying the prime of their life. And I feel like it's all been wasted. And next year I'm going to finish, and then that will be it. The most fun, most social, most freeing period of my life, was nothing. And it will never be. And if I've failed at that, on easy mode, I don't see much hope for what comes after.
A lot of people tell me it'll get better, or you've just got to wait. If that's what you have to say, kindly leave. I've been waiting for something, anything to get better for years. I'm sick of waiting, and I'm sick of hoping. It only hurts more when you get disappointed.
Hey, I am so sorry to hear that you're struggling at university, I just want to say I know first-hand how you feel because I was in a similar situation myself. I started in 2019 and I rushed into deciding what course/ uni to study at because I was afraid of the change- I can admit this now! I just didn't want to think about it but felt pressured into making the decision as I thought taking a gap year to decide would make me look weird (which is not true at all) I wish I had just taken a moment to think about what I really wanted, but it was a lesson learnt.
I hated it at university, I hated being away and struggled to click with people I met there. Although they were lovely, I just felt I didn't make any 'proper' friendships like I was told I would, I know you feel the same. I feel like you go to uni with such high expectations and then when they're not as amazing as you're promised you feel like you're not doing it right and that you've 'failed'. Comparison is the thief of joy- and right now you cannot help but compare yourself to your friends who aren't feeling the same as you. However, everyone struggles at uni, whether they admit it or not, so don't feel like you're the only one. I didn't tell ANYONE how I felt for months, it was only when I got so stressed that I had a panic attack that landed me in A&E that I finally spoke about how much I was struggling. I finally dropped out around January time and had a few months at home, thanks to lockdown but it was still what I needed! I started my first year over again in LJMU, a whole different university in a different city. I felt prepared, refreshed and it was the best decision I ever made. And, I was in accommodation with loads of people who had transferred in their first or second year or were between 19-23! So this made me realise that it is not uncommon or embarrassing to drop out/ transfer uni or to just have time off- please do what is best for you.
I am not here to tell you it will get better if you just stick it out, as I hated it when people said that to me! Things don't just 'get better' by themselves, you have to actively make the decisions that benefit you. In this case, speak to your personal tutors, family and friends about how you feel, it is so worth it and I promise they won't judge. Your uni will offer wellbeing services and they helped me so much when I was in your position so do use them!
If you need to take time out- do so, as it will do no harm as you can always start fresh.
Good luck and please do look after yourself. I hope all goes well 🙂
Ria
Official LJMU Student Rep
Reply 9
Original post by LJMUStudentReps
Hey, I am so sorry to hear that you're struggling at university, I just want to say I know first-hand how you feel because I was in a similar situation myself. I started in 2019 and I rushed into deciding what course/ uni to study at because I was afraid of the change- I can admit this now! I just didn't want to think about it but felt pressured into making the decision as I thought taking a gap year to decide would make me look weird (which is not true at all) I wish I had just taken a moment to think about what I really wanted, but it was a lesson learnt.
I hated it at university, I hated being away and struggled to click with people I met there. Although they were lovely, I just felt I didn't make any 'proper' friendships like I was told I would, I know you feel the same. I feel like you go to uni with such high expectations and then when they're not as amazing as you're promised you feel like you're not doing it right and that you've 'failed'. Comparison is the thief of joy- and right now you cannot help but compare yourself to your friends who aren't feeling the same as you. However, everyone struggles at uni, whether they admit it or not, so don't feel like you're the only one. I didn't tell ANYONE how I felt for months, it was only when I got so stressed that I had a panic attack that landed me in A&E that I finally spoke about how much I was struggling. I finally dropped out around January time and had a few months at home, thanks to lockdown but it was still what I needed! I started my first year over again in LJMU, a whole different university in a different city. I felt prepared, refreshed and it was the best decision I ever made. And, I was in accommodation with loads of people who had transferred in their first or second year or were between 19-23! So this made me realise that it is not uncommon or embarrassing to drop out/ transfer uni or to just have time off- please do what is best for you.
I am not here to tell you it will get better if you just stick it out, as I hated it when people said that to me! Things don't just 'get better' by themselves, you have to actively make the decisions that benefit you. In this case, speak to your personal tutors, family and friends about how you feel, it is so worth it and I promise they won't judge. Your uni will offer wellbeing services and they helped me so much when I was in your position so do use them!
If you need to take time out- do so, as it will do no harm as you can always start fresh.
Good luck and please do look after yourself. I hope all goes well 🙂
Ria
Official LJMU Student Rep
I hated it at university, I hated being away and struggled to click with people I met there. Although they were lovely, I just felt I didn't make any 'proper' friendships like I was told I would, I know you feel the same. I feel like you go to uni with such high expectations and then when they're not as amazing as you're promised you feel like you're not doing it right and that you've 'failed'. Comparison is the thief of joy- and right now you cannot help but compare yourself to your friends who aren't feeling the same as you. However, everyone struggles at uni, whether they admit it or not, so don't feel like you're the only one. I didn't tell ANYONE how I felt for months, it was only when I got so stressed that I had a panic attack that landed me in A&E that I finally spoke about how much I was struggling. I finally dropped out around January time and had a few months at home, thanks to lockdown but it was still what I needed! I started my first year over again in LJMU, a whole different university in a different city. I felt prepared, refreshed and it was the best decision I ever made. And, I was in accommodation with loads of people who had transferred in their first or second year or were between 19-23! So this made me realise that it is not uncommon or embarrassing to drop out/ transfer uni or to just have time off- please do what is best for you.
I am not here to tell you it will get better if you just stick it out, as I hated it when people said that to me! Things don't just 'get better' by themselves, you have to actively make the decisions that benefit you. In this case, speak to your personal tutors, family and friends about how you feel, it is so worth it and I promise they won't judge. Your uni will offer wellbeing services and they helped me so much when I was in your position so do use them!
If you need to take time out- do so, as it will do no harm as you can always start fresh.
Good luck and please do look after yourself. I hope all goes well 🙂
Ria
Official LJMU Student Rep
I appreciate your response. Honestly I’m having to repeat a year so 2 more years to go now. I don’t really want to think about it. I gave up hoping for better. All of the stages of my life seem to have progressively gotten more lonely and insufferable. At this point I kinda just want to finish university and completely erase the 4 years from my mind and never remember or acknowledge any of it. I’m glad you found your people and it sounds like things were much better. That’s great! But I don’t really want to imagine things getting better. I’ve been doing that for a while, imagining where I want to be or who I want to be and trying things to get myself there. And honestly it just hurts more to fail at getting there and find myself slipping further away from it than not imagining better at all. Idk if that makes sense
Reply 10
Original post by khane69
like i meant howd u end up in a uni doin a course u dont like, with no friends, crappy life etc
I feel like if I knew how these things happen I could more sufficiently act to prevent their continuation of spiralling me further from positivity. Unfortunately I don’t know.
Reply 11
Original post by Picnicl
It doesn't look like they're in the mood to respond. I wouldn't waste time writing any more words until they do.
Sorry. My laptop got stolen a week ago so I’ve had nothing to respond on. Finally managed to get my login working on my phone which will suffice for now even though the iOS app for tsr isn’t the best. I’m here now tho, what were you going to say. Sorry for the disappearance but I’m here to listen now
Original post by billycatnorbert
Sorry. My laptop got stolen a week ago so I’ve had nothing to respond on. Finally managed to get my login working on my phone which will suffice for now even though the iOS app for tsr isn’t the best. I’m here now tho, what were you going to say. Sorry for the disappearance but I’m here to listen now
Thanks for your reply. My post is one that's already above. Can you say where you're studying?
(edited 1 year ago)
Reply 13
Original post by Picnicl
Thanks for your reply. My post is one that's already above. Can you say where you're studying?
I live in Brighton. Definitely not a quiet or lacking environment
Original post by billycatnorbert
I live in Brighton. Definitely not a quiet or lacking environment
(edited 1 year ago)
Reply 15
Original post by Picnicl
But it can be, as you said 'No noise'. It's still not an industrial kind of place (you did mention Manchester).
I suppose
Reply 17
Original post by npenn
hey i’m here if you’d like to talk on socials or another platform
i’m 20 also but will be starting uni this yr
i’m 20 also but will be starting uni this yr
Original post by Billycatnorbert
I think I DM’d you but I’m not sure. If nothing came DM me because TSR makes no sense on the app haha
ahh okay i sent you a dm
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