Relationship advice
With my girlfriend, we've been together for a month, and just recently, I noticed that I'm the one who always starts the conversation first. I feel like I'm putting too much effort into this relationship. What should I do?
Carry on taking on the burden of starting the conversation first. Be the leader. Aim to be a good leader.
For the too much effort. Chill out. Relax. Stop taking things so seriously. Be lighter. Have more fun. Laugh more.
Go on great adventures and mini adventures with her. Between dates leave her largely to get on with her life whilst you get on with yours.
You can dump her at any time for any reason. Or for no reason at all. She has to make it worth your while to stay with her. And you have to make it worth her while to stay with you.
This doesn't involve putting the other person on a pedestal. It does involve you being a good version of yourself when you're with her, so that she feels she's winning The Prize by being with you. It also involves you having other things in your life apart from your relationship with her. And it also involves you demonstrating good amounts of mental and emotional strength to her - eg by you taking stressful situations in your stride and handling them with good humour.
For the too much effort. Chill out. Relax. Stop taking things so seriously. Be lighter. Have more fun. Laugh more.
Go on great adventures and mini adventures with her. Between dates leave her largely to get on with her life whilst you get on with yours.
You can dump her at any time for any reason. Or for no reason at all. She has to make it worth your while to stay with her. And you have to make it worth her while to stay with you.
This doesn't involve putting the other person on a pedestal. It does involve you being a good version of yourself when you're with her, so that she feels she's winning The Prize by being with you. It also involves you having other things in your life apart from your relationship with her. And it also involves you demonstrating good amounts of mental and emotional strength to her - eg by you taking stressful situations in your stride and handling them with good humour.
Original post by Anonymous
With my girlfriend, we've been together for a month, and just recently, I noticed that I'm the one who always starts the conversation first. I feel like I'm putting too much effort into this relationship. What should I do?
Didn't you notice this when you were dating? Or do you mean you've been dating for only a month, in which case why refer to her as a girlfriend?
Turns out both of you have communication issues; apparently hers is that she doesn't start conversations and yours is that you are discussing it on here instead of with her! And is this in real life or messaging?
Speak with her, but don't go full on with "I'm making all the effort"; she may be comfortable, she may be naturally quiet. Find out what's going on before deciding what to do next.
(edited 5 months ago)
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