Making friends without clubbing/drinking

Hi, I'm (hopefully) starting at Uni of Nottingham in September and wanted some advice on making friends. I'm not a big fan or clubs or big drinking parties and am a little worried about if I'll have the opportunity to make friends.
I know I can make friends during freshers but everything I've seen online and on the gcs I'm on for September starters is all to do with clubbing for people discussing what tickets they are buying for September and quite honestly most of the fresher events I've seen look like living hell.
I'm not necessary looking for sober gatherings, I quite like getting a drink at the pub with a few of my friends but no big club nights.
Is there still places for me to make friends or is it going to be hard? I'm trying to judge if I should put my anxieties behind me and just go to one of these club nights in september if it's the only way I can make friends.
Thanks

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Original post by 1234Jess

Hi, I'm (hopefully) starting at Uni of Nottingham in September and wanted some advice on making friends. I'm not a big fan or clubs or big drinking parties and am a little worried about if I'll have the opportunity to make friends.
I know I can make friends during freshers but everything I've seen online and on the gcs I'm on for September starters is all to do with clubbing for people discussing what tickets they are buying for September and quite honestly most of the fresher events I've seen look like living hell.
I'm not necessary looking for sober gatherings, I quite like getting a drink at the pub with a few of my friends but no big club nights.
Is there still places for me to make friends or is it going to be hard? I'm trying to judge if I should put my anxieties behind me and just go to one of these club nights in september if it's the only way I can make friends.
Thanks

Which accomodation are you applying for. If catered this might suit you as you'll make friends in your dining hall/common room, there will always be someone hanging around in the hall bar or common room. My daughter wasn't a big drinker or clubber. She does go to clubs now occasionally, but doesn't drink much, plus people don't tend to go out until 11pm anyway, so if she doesn't fancy clubbing she goes to pre drinks and then goes back to her room.

Reply 2

University of Huddersfield

Official Rep

16

Original post by 1234Jess

Hi, I'm (hopefully) starting at Uni of Nottingham in September and wanted some advice on making friends. I'm not a big fan or clubs or big drinking parties and am a little worried about if I'll have the opportunity to make friends.
I know I can make friends during freshers but everything I've seen online and on the gcs I'm on for September starters is all to do with clubbing for people discussing what tickets they are buying for September and quite honestly most of the fresher events I've seen look like living hell.
I'm not necessary looking for sober gatherings, I quite like getting a drink at the pub with a few of my friends but no big club nights.
Is there still places for me to make friends or is it going to be hard? I'm trying to judge if I should put my anxieties behind me and just go to one of these club nights in september if it's the only way I can make friends.
Thanks

@1234Jess

It is likely the university will have events on during the day, which do not require a ticket, so they should be some events you can attend without feeling pressured to drink for example, the sports and societies fair, where you will be able to find out about different groups and activities you might like to join. This will also provide opportunities to get to know people. There may also be other flatmates who are not so keen on drinking who you might be able to hang out with e.g. you could do a movie marathon with them. Aside from flatmates there are also the people who you will be meeting on your course, so there will be opportunities there to go exploring the city, to grab lunch together, to check out the library, sports facilities or to grab a tea or a coffee with them between lectures.

Finally, sometimes friends are made unexpectedly. The person who you always see on your way to a lecture, when you are waiting for a bus, or who you get talking to while waiting to be served food at lunchtime. If you are open to getting to know people, willing to start conversations, willing to meet up, to invite and be invited to social gatherings, then all being well you should find people that you can begin to build friendships with.

All the best!

Oluwatosin – 3rd year student – University of Huddersfield

Reply 3

FayeYSJ

6

Original post by 1234Jess

Hi, I'm (hopefully) starting at Uni of Nottingham in September and wanted some advice on making friends. I'm not a big fan or clubs or big drinking parties and am a little worried about if I'll have the opportunity to make friends.
I know I can make friends during freshers but everything I've seen online and on the gcs I'm on for September starters is all to do with clubbing for people discussing what tickets they are buying for September and quite honestly most of the fresher events I've seen look like living hell.
I'm not necessary looking for sober gatherings, I quite like getting a drink at the pub with a few of my friends but no big club nights.
Is there still places for me to make friends or is it going to be hard? I'm trying to judge if I should put my anxieties behind me and just go to one of these club nights in september if it's the only way I can make friends.
Thanks

Hi!
Clubbing/drinking is definitely not the only way to make friends at university. There are so many other opportunities so you absolutely don't need to worry. You will make friends from all different parts of university life, for example: course mates, flatmates, part-time work, clubs and societies. Although clubbing is a large part of university culture it does not have to be, not everyone takes part in this side of university life and you will find your people who enjoy the same things as you.

Hope this helps! Faye :smile:

Original post by 1234Jess

Hi, I'm (hopefully) starting at Uni of Nottingham in September and wanted some advice on making friends. I'm not a big fan or clubs or big drinking parties and am a little worried about if I'll have the opportunity to make friends.
I know I can make friends during freshers but everything I've seen online and on the gcs I'm on for September starters is all to do with clubbing for people discussing what tickets they are buying for September and quite honestly most of the fresher events I've seen look like living hell.
I'm not necessary looking for sober gatherings, I quite like getting a drink at the pub with a few of my friends but no big club nights.
Is there still places for me to make friends or is it going to be hard? I'm trying to judge if I should put my anxieties behind me and just go to one of these club nights in september if it's the only way I can make friends.
Thanks

Hi there

That's a very valid question and I can assure you that not everybody at uni will be into drinking and clubbing. Toby, a current Durham student, wrote a blog covering exactly this topic which I'm linking here. It has ideas that are not exclusively Durham-related so it's worth reading!

No alcohol, no problem

Hope this gives some insight :smile:

-Himieka

Reply 5

1234Jess

OP

8

Original post by Anonymous

Which accomodation are you applying for. If catered this might suit you as you'll make friends in your dining hall/common room, there will always be someone hanging around in the hall bar or common room. My daughter wasn't a big drinker or clubber. She does go to clubs now occasionally, but doesn't drink much, plus people don't tend to go out until 11pm anyway, so if she doesn't fancy clubbing she goes to pre drinks and then goes back to her room.

I'm actually in non-catered accommodation but I do have a big shared kitchen with my whole flat (12 people i think). But I never really considered pre-drinks sounds like an option that would suit me a lot more :smile:

Reply 6

BLACK_SHEEP447

2

Original post by 1234Jess

Hi, I'm (hopefully) starting at Uni of Nottingham in September and wanted some advice on making friends. I'm not a big fan or clubs or big drinking parties and am a little worried about if I'll have the opportunity to make friends.
I know I can make friends during freshers but everything I've seen online and on the gcs I'm on for September starters is all to do with clubbing for people discussing what tickets they are buying for September and quite honestly most of the fresher events I've seen look like living hell.
I'm not necessary looking for sober gatherings, I quite like getting a drink at the pub with a few of my friends but no big club nights.
Is there still places for me to make friends or is it going to be hard? I'm trying to judge if I should put my anxieties behind me and just go to one of these club nights in september if it's the only way I can make friends.
Thanks

I’m going to UON this sept too and honestly I’m not a drinker too. So trust me you’re not alone

Original post by 1234Jess

Hi, I'm (hopefully) starting at Uni of Nottingham in September and wanted some advice on making friends. I'm not a big fan or clubs or big drinking parties and am a little worried about if I'll have the opportunity to make friends.
I know I can make friends during freshers but everything I've seen online and on the gcs I'm on for September starters is all to do with clubbing for people discussing what tickets they are buying for September and quite honestly most of the fresher events I've seen look like living hell.
I'm not necessary looking for sober gatherings, I quite like getting a drink at the pub with a few of my friends but no big club nights.
Is there still places for me to make friends or is it going to be hard? I'm trying to judge if I should put my anxieties behind me and just go to one of these club nights in september if it's the only way I can make friends.
Thanks

Hi @1234Jess ,

Congratulations on getting accepted into university)

You will still be able to make friends during your course lectures and workshops. Each university also has many societies which you will be able to join. A quick way to start getting to know people before you start your course is to join the university's fresher page on Facebook and get invited into your subject-specific WhatsApp group chat (although they are usually created closer to September by another student). My experience is that most students do not go to the fresher's events and many do not drink either so you are not alone.

What society do you think you might be interested in?

Hristiana (Kingston rep)
1st Year Mental Health Nursing Studnet

Reply 8

De Montfort University

Official Rep

16

Original post by 1234Jess

Hi, I'm (hopefully) starting at Uni of Nottingham in September and wanted some advice on making friends. I'm not a big fan or clubs or big drinking parties and am a little worried about if I'll have the opportunity to make friends.
I know I can make friends during freshers but everything I've seen online and on the gcs I'm on for September starters is all to do with clubbing for people discussing what tickets they are buying for September and quite honestly most of the fresher events I've seen look like living hell.
I'm not necessary looking for sober gatherings, I quite like getting a drink at the pub with a few of my friends but no big club nights.
Is there still places for me to make friends or is it going to be hard? I'm trying to judge if I should put my anxieties behind me and just go to one of these club nights in september if it's the only way I can make friends.
Thanks

Hey there,

It's completely okay if clubbing isn't your scene. Universities offer many opportunities to meet new people outside of club nights. You can join societies or clubs that align with your interests, which are great places to meet people with same interests. Also, remember that many other students may feel the same way you do. I would suggest joining student societies and being always open for new opportunities!

Take care,
Ilya

Original post by 1234Jess

Hi, I'm (hopefully) starting at Uni of Nottingham in September and wanted some advice on making friends. I'm not a big fan or clubs or big drinking parties and am a little worried about if I'll have the opportunity to make friends.
I know I can make friends during freshers but everything I've seen online and on the gcs I'm on for September starters is all to do with clubbing for people discussing what tickets they are buying for September and quite honestly most of the fresher events I've seen look like living hell.
I'm not necessary looking for sober gatherings, I quite like getting a drink at the pub with a few of my friends but no big club nights.
Is there still places for me to make friends or is it going to be hard? I'm trying to judge if I should put my anxieties behind me and just go to one of these club nights in september if it's the only way I can make friends.
Thanks

Hi there,

This is a common worry that people have who don't like drinking and going out but you would be surprised at the amount there is to do without drinking! I know quite a few people who don't like going out clubbing and drinking and they still do loads of things and it doesn't affect their experience.

In freshers week there will be lots of drinking events and people getting freshers wristbands and going clubbing, but there will be other things you can do too! I would recommend asking your housemates if they want to do something that isn't clubbing one night and maybe you can go out for food or cook dinner as a flat! Something else I've also enjoyed at uni is having a games night or movie night. A games night in particular is a good way of getting to know people still and chatting! You could also join in if they have pres as this is the way that I made friends, rather than actually in the club! Having pres is fun so if you like playing games, it's usually fun to join in with this and then you could just not go on the night out- someone in my first year flat used to do this and it wasn't a problem and it was a good chance to get to know them more.

There will also be opportunities to just go to the pub with your housemates and course friends during freshers week, just ask people if they fancy going to the pub and chances are they will say yes. This is also better for making friends as the easiest time to make friends is when you are all chatting, which you aren't doing in a club anyway!

I would say that one of the best ways I made friends was by joining a society. This is a great way of making friends and even though the socials involve drinking sometimes, there are plenty of non-drinking opportunities that comes with joining a society. And they are fun and good ways of getting out of the house!

I hope some of this helps,

Lucy -SHU student ambassador.

Reply 10

roscobain23

3

Original post by 1234Jess

Hi, I'm (hopefully) starting at Uni of Nottingham in September and wanted some advice on making friends. I'm not a big fan or clubs or big drinking parties and am a little worried about if I'll have the opportunity to make friends.
I know I can make friends during freshers but everything I've seen online and on the gcs I'm on for September starters is all to do with clubbing for people discussing what tickets they are buying for September and quite honestly most of the fresher events I've seen look like living hell.
I'm not necessary looking for sober gatherings, I quite like getting a drink at the pub with a few of my friends but no big club nights.
Is there still places for me to make friends or is it going to be hard? I'm trying to judge if I should put my anxieties behind me and just go to one of these club nights in september if it's the only way I can make friends.
Thanks

Hi! I wouldn't worry at all. I was 17 all of first year, so couldn't go out at all and I am happy and have made friends who are not very interested in clubbing 🙂 everything will be okay!

Hello,

First off, congratulations of starting university this September ! Very exciting.

Making friends at university can be pretty easy, especially if those people tend to share the same interests you do.

I found that going to icebreaker events at the beginning of your academic year really helps as those events let you speak and connect with multiple different people! Some events are in the day time and aren't around partying (sports fair, food fair)

Usually in freshers, a lot of the events are around the nightlife however I personally don't drink but over my university years I felt that it did not affect my social life and I was able to join. My friends and I were always able to find other activities to do including the cinema, bowling, sports ,and if we were to go outthere are always mocktails and non-alcoholic options.

It also helps to meet with those who live in your flat as these are the people you'll be sharing a living space with and you'll be seeing them often!

Let me know if you have any specific questions!

Best of luck,
Haya

Reply 12

Lancaster Student Ambassador

Official Rep

16

Original post by 1234Jess

Hi, I'm (hopefully) starting at Uni of Nottingham in September and wanted some advice on making friends. I'm not a big fan or clubs or big drinking parties and am a little worried about if I'll have the opportunity to make friends.
I know I can make friends during freshers but everything I've seen online and on the gcs I'm on for September starters is all to do with clubbing for people discussing what tickets they are buying for September and quite honestly most of the fresher events I've seen look like living hell.
I'm not necessary looking for sober gatherings, I quite like getting a drink at the pub with a few of my friends but no big club nights.
Is there still places for me to make friends or is it going to be hard? I'm trying to judge if I should put my anxieties behind me and just go to one of these club nights in september if it's the only way I can make friends.
Thanks

Hi @1234Jess
I'd recommend joining societies, as these tend to be a great way to meet new people, as everyone there has a common interest, so you can always find something to talk about.
Hope this helps!
-Jasmine (Lancaster Student Ambassador)

Reply 13

Anonymous #2

Original post by 1234Jess

Hi, I'm (hopefully) starting at Uni of Nottingham in September and wanted some advice on making friends. I'm not a big fan or clubs or big drinking parties and am a little worried about if I'll have the opportunity to make friends.
I know I can make friends during freshers but everything I've seen online and on the gcs I'm on for September starters is all to do with clubbing for people discussing what tickets they are buying for September and quite honestly most of the fresher events I've seen look like living hell.
I'm not necessary looking for sober gatherings, I quite like getting a drink at the pub with a few of my friends but no big club nights.
Is there still places for me to make friends or is it going to be hard? I'm trying to judge if I should put my anxieties behind me and just go to one of these club nights in september if it's the only way I can make friends.
Thanks

Hope you don't mind me asking, are you going to be living in Dagfa house? As you sound just like my daughter who is hoping to go to UoN in September and has a place in Dagfa and she's really worried she won't make any friends and she's also not into clubbing or big social events, prefers going to a pub or maybe a gig with a few friends. I'm posting anonymously because she would hate to know I'm on this forum and won't go on it herself to try to make any contacts before September because she thinks it would look really sad...

Original post by 1234Jess

Hi, I'm (hopefully) starting at Uni of Nottingham in September and wanted some advice on making friends. I'm not a big fan or clubs or big drinking parties and am a little worried about if I'll have the opportunity to make friends.
I know I can make friends during freshers but everything I've seen online and on the gcs I'm on for September starters is all to do with clubbing for people discussing what tickets they are buying for September and quite honestly most of the fresher events I've seen look like living hell.
I'm not necessary looking for sober gatherings, I quite like getting a drink at the pub with a few of my friends but no big club nights.
Is there still places for me to make friends or is it going to be hard? I'm trying to judge if I should put my anxieties behind me and just go to one of these club nights in september if it's the only way I can make friends.
Thanks

Hello,

I can understand why you feel a little apprehensive about making friends. It can be tough to find a good group of friends, and often this takes time.

There is a big stigma around freshers that everyone goes out to drink but you will be surprised at the amount of non-alcoholic freshers events your uni should host and the amount of students that don't actually drink! There will be plenty of opportunities to attend events which aren't clubbing. You can still attend nights out sober too - and I can guarantee you won't be the only one! Don't feel pressured to drink when you don't want to.

I know it's a cliché, but societies and sports groups are such a good way to make friends due to you being surrounded by like minded people and you are likely to hit it off with other people due to your common interest. As difficult as it is, try to be brave and put yourself out there. Studying on campus and engaging with familiar faces in the library is a great way to meet people. And you may find that you make friends on your course!

Hope this helps and best of luck! 😀
G

Reply 15

1234Jess

OP

8

Original post by Anonymous

Hope you don't mind me asking, are you going to be living in Dagfa house? As you sound just like my daughter who is hoping to go to UoN in September and has a place in Dagfa and she's really worried she won't make any friends and she's also not into clubbing or big social events, prefers going to a pub or maybe a gig with a few friends. I'm posting anonymously because she would hate to know I'm on this forum and won't go on it herself to try to make any contacts before September because she thinks it would look really sad...

I should be in Dagfa house in September! Nice to know they’ll be other people in a similar position to me. If she did want to talk pre uni i would definitely be up for that as well. :smile:

Reply 16

nocturnalpeer

3

I feel exactly the same! I'm hopefully going to be in broadgate park (right next door) and I'm a pub girl too. I don't think I'll enjoy clubbing at all so you're not alone

Original post by 1234Jess

Hi, I'm (hopefully) starting at Uni of Nottingham in September and wanted some advice on making friends. I'm not a big fan or clubs or big drinking parties and am a little worried about if I'll have the opportunity to make friends.
I know I can make friends during freshers but everything I've seen online and on the gcs I'm on for September starters is all to do with clubbing for people discussing what tickets they are buying for September and quite honestly most of the fresher events I've seen look like living hell.
I'm not necessary looking for sober gatherings, I quite like getting a drink at the pub with a few of my friends but no big club nights.
Is there still places for me to make friends or is it going to be hard? I'm trying to judge if I should put my anxieties behind me and just go to one of these club nights in september if it's the only way I can make friends.
Thanks

Hi 1234Jess,

My name is Sophie and I am a final year student at Exeter, who has spent three years at uni without clubbing and drinking, but still making friends! Firstly congratulations on your offer from Nottingham! If I could give you one piece of advice about making friends outside of clubbing, it would be to join societies. During freshers week at Exeter, and I am sure Nottingham would do the same, we have a freshers fair, where societies are looking to recruit new members! If you have a specific interest, perhaps in Harry Potter, Taylor Swift or any sports - to name but a few - you should definitely look at joining societies, because you'll find people with the same interests! We even have a sober-soc at Exeter, I am pretty sure! Not only this, but just so you have an idea of numbers, Exeter, again probably just like Nottingham, is made up of over 20,000 students, so you're guaranteed to find a group you get along with. I have also made lots of friends through work for the university; I met lots of new people this way!

Hope this helps,
Best wishes,
Sophie University of Exeter Student Ambassador

Reply 18

Lancaster Student Ambassador

Official Rep

16

Original post by 1234Jess

Hi, I'm (hopefully) starting at Uni of Nottingham in September and wanted some advice on making friends. I'm not a big fan or clubs or big drinking parties and am a little worried about if I'll have the opportunity to make friends.
I know I can make friends during freshers but everything I've seen online and on the gcs I'm on for September starters is all to do with clubbing for people discussing what tickets they are buying for September and quite honestly most of the fresher events I've seen look like living hell.
I'm not necessary looking for sober gatherings, I quite like getting a drink at the pub with a few of my friends but no big club nights.
Is there still places for me to make friends or is it going to be hard? I'm trying to judge if I should put my anxieties behind me and just go to one of these club nights in september if it's the only way I can make friends.
Thanks

Hi,
I found that joining societies is a great way to make friends and meet new people at university, as everyone there has a similar interest so there's always lots to talk about. Also most universities offer other events during freshers week other than clubbing, like live music nights, quizzes, crafts and tours of the city so there can be great ways to meet new people during freshers week.
Hope this helps!
-Jasmine (Lancaster Student Ambassador)

Making friends without clubbing/drinking

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Articles for you