The Student Room Group

Possibly being slow faded after 3rd date?

It is technically the 3rd time we’ve hung out, but I sort of count it as the second one with romantic intentions as we both weren’t really sure for the first one.

Known this girl for around 2 months, but have only been dating for a month. After the first date we confessed our feelings for each other because I wanted to make my intentions clear, so we’ve had some obvious interest in each other for a while. Should mention she is a coworker and I currently work with her (although as we're both casual we don’t see each other often at work).

Our 3rd date was where we finally crossed the threshold into intimacy. I took her to the zoo and when we came back to the city centre they were playing some crappy indie films so she bought us some juice and we sat down watching them for an hour. She asked me to feel her hands to see how cold they are, I said I can warm them up if you want and she offered me her hand. We sat there making each other laugh for ages just holding hands. Honestly, I should’ve kissed her here but we were both sitting down in separate beach chairs so I’m not sure how it would’ve worked logistically.

Unfortunately she had to go home early, and she had to catch the train but since we’re at different platforms this was where we split up. I was really debating kissing her, but because I took too long she just kind of said okay I have to go now and went in for a hug that lasted a few seconds and then left. On her way out she said I’ll see you again whenever.

I messaged her after the date telling her I had a good time, and she responded back thanking me and saying she had the "best time ever."

However, I noticed after this date a drop off in communication despite it being the one with the most romantic physical interactions so far.

She’s always been inconsistent with texting, but now she’s consistently slow. Usually anywhere from 1-6 hours. I know how it works for her is that she doesn’t open messages until she knows EXACTLY how she wants to respond so that it doesn’t look like she’s left anyone on seen, but still.

She was showing clear interest all the way up to the 3rd date, including physical compliments like calling me cute and sweet etc. but now it’s like she’s just trying to let me go in a non-confrontational way since we still work together.

She used to also message me after taking a long time to respond with an excuse to reassure me that she wasn’t ghosting me, but I told her it’s not necessary for her to do that as I’m confident enough with her where I know she wouldn’t do that, and she agreed.

It just seems like a really odd drop off, should I actually be concerned since it’s only been 5 days and she was showing obvious interest a week ago?

I also messaged her 2 days ago asking her when she'd be available for another date, and she responded in an hour to agree and she "should be okay for a few days next week." Haven’t heard anything yet, I’m waiting her for to give me a specific day.

Do you guys think I have anything to be concerned about? I really want to kiss her on the next date.

Reply 1

Get a date in the diary asap. Go for the kiss, it certainly appears to be on the cards

Reply 2

Original post by Anonymous
It is technically the 3rd time we’ve hung out, but I sort of count it as the second one with romantic intentions as we both weren’t really sure for the first one.
Known this girl for around 2 months, but have only been dating for a month. After the first date we confessed our feelings for each other because I wanted to make my intentions clear, so we’ve had some obvious interest in each other for a while. Should mention she is a coworker and I currently work with her (although as we're both casual we don’t see each other often at work).
Our 3rd date was where we finally crossed the threshold into intimacy. I took her to the zoo and when we came back to the city centre they were playing some crappy indie films so she bought us some juice and we sat down watching them for an hour. She asked me to feel her hands to see how cold they are, I said I can warm them up if you want and she offered me her hand. We sat there making each other laugh for ages just holding hands. Honestly, I should’ve kissed her here but we were both sitting down in separate beach chairs so I’m not sure how it would’ve worked logistically.
Unfortunately she had to go home early, and she had to catch the train but since we’re at different platforms this was where we split up. I was really debating kissing her, but because I took too long she just kind of said okay I have to go now and went in for a hug that lasted a few seconds and then left. On her way out she said I’ll see you again whenever.
I messaged her after the date telling her I had a good time, and she responded back thanking me and saying she had the "best time ever."
However, I noticed after this date a drop off in communication despite it being the one with the most romantic physical interactions so far.
She’s always been inconsistent with texting, but now she’s consistently slow. Usually anywhere from 1-6 hours. I know how it works for her is that she doesn’t open messages until she knows EXACTLY how she wants to respond so that it doesn’t look like she’s left anyone on seen, but still.
She was showing clear interest all the way up to the 3rd date, including physical compliments like calling me cute and sweet etc. but now it’s like she’s just trying to let me go in a non-confrontational way since we still work together.
She used to also message me after taking a long time to respond with an excuse to reassure me that she wasn’t ghosting me, but I told her it’s not necessary for her to do that as I’m confident enough with her where I know she wouldn’t do that, and she agreed.
It just seems like a really odd drop off, should I actually be concerned since it’s only been 5 days and she was showing obvious interest a week ago?
I also messaged her 2 days ago asking her when she'd be available for another date, and she responded in an hour to agree and she "should be okay for a few days next week." Haven’t heard anything yet, I’m waiting her for to give me a specific day.
Do you guys think I have anything to be concerned about? I really want to kiss her on the next date.

Yes go for it. Do not prevaricate, show confidence and that will go down well. Sounds like she wants you to do the chasing.

Quick Reply