am i cooked ?

hi, i (17f) recently moved from a big city to the countryside and im finding it difficult to make friends. it seems like everyone my age is in a clique here and im not really sure how to get round to befriending anyone my age. im not in school or anything but im looking for a job. any tips on how to make myself more approachable to other girls my age? i've always found it difficult to befriend girls which is sad :frown:

Reply 1

Lugg13

Hi! I’m also 17 and was in a very similar situation to you a few months ago. I started a new school in a small town where everybody already know everyone, and I thought I wasn’t going to make friends at all (considering my lack of friendship success in the past)
After about 7 months I managed to find a group though. Just trust that it’ll happen. But definitely one thing I struggled with was to introduce myself to people- if you can do that then do but if not then don’t worry. However, don’t expect people to come and introduce themselves to you just because they notice you’re new- I expected that to happen and it didn’t. I imagine a job will help you to meet people. Also are there any clubs you could join?
As for trying to be more approachable- you can’t really change yourself. Obviously be kind and considerate, but I imagine you are. Trying to be someone else was a mistake I made and I only became more socially anxious because of it. You’ll have better luck if you can genuinely convince yourself that you are worthy of good friends and that they will come to you. By showing up with this belief the right people will be drawn to you.
I promise there will be a group for you though!

Reply 2

Muttly

Probably the best route in is to know what interests you. Sports? Fitness (running clubs), young farmers etc - whatever you are good at? I would find out who shares your interests at local levels and then contact the co-ordinator of the groups? Explain you are terrified of reaching out & if there might be anyone who could show you the ropes or meet with them first to introduce you to others? That way you are not battling all this alone. Some people in those groups will be only too glad to meet 'a new face' and to find someone new away from the usual group (fresh air) So please don't worry about that at all. Just don't crucify yourself if you don't meet the people you expect at the first event. Finding new friends and contacts can take persistence and then a lot of months/years of trying. You have to go steady, build trust, and be prepared to take a risk that all of your efforts might lead to failure. But never give up - ever 😀