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I’m not being a golddigger I’m just asking for advice.

Hey so I’m always use to dating men who have alot of money and take me to alot of holidays spend thousands on me. Well 2 of my ex’s. Anyways I’m dating this guy now for 2 years he has children and 1 of my ex had children too which is whatever.

Anyways , I have money from inheritance which I’ve been using for years. I’ve been on 7 holidays since I been with my current bf he’s been on 2 which is to his home country in the Carribean. Anyways he obviously doesn’t have much money. He has a car , has a flat in which his cousin lives there too even though it’s under my bf name and he pays majority of things there , he also has kids who he provides for and just a normal salary of about 30k. My ex’s was making more than 200k yearly and lived in pent houses.

Anyways I love going away, I obviously live with my parent and have no kids so I don’t have bills to pay. I love going on holiday and always tell my bf for us to go on holiday. He always say yeah yeah but nothing ever happens. I’ve told him you need to fully agree to it and then you can start saving otherwise you’ll never save for it. He said ‘when I bring my bit of the money’ which I’m assuming was him being cheeky as he pays for everything like dinners and stuff he’s even given me £300 for a holiday I went on with my girls. When he previously went on holiday he had to work 2 jobs in order to afford it. I’ve told him we can go somewhere cheap like Spain.

Are we not compatible as he can’t afford to go on holiday. I would love to travel with him. It’s making me think things because obviously with my ex’s I would do that. My friends always question it too because they say why don’t I ever go away with him and I’m always asking them to go on holiday.


Advice pls

Also if we was to go away should he pay for everything ? Let me know
Reply 1
He’s obviously not the guy for you. Get scouting for a millionaire
Reply 2
Original post by Zarek
He’s obviously not the guy for you. Get scouting for a millionaire

Lool are you being sarcastic or not? Thing is this is the most stress free relationship I’ve had. All the other men had side chicks
You make it sound like you had a Sugar Babe arrangement with these exes that you dated?
Which is absolutely fine if you were. It's just that I'm not sure where you are in terms of your ability to go out and win the heart of a wealthy man, as opposed to his penis and cash.

This inheritance money, could you use it as seed money to start a business?
How about spending some of it on personal development for you? Such as woman to man social skills? Sales skills? Finance skills? Practical skill training, such as cooking or gas plumbing?
Holidays are great, but it does seem to be a bit of a wasted opportunity in terms of you going to town and really developing yourself as a person.

I think it's clear that you should move on from your stick in the mud £30k boyfriend.
Someone earning £40k per year with no kids and living in the North of England that treated you right would be fine.
Make it £60k if they live in the South East.

Overall I like your style and like your outlook on life. You are already living a great life and you have the potential to live an even more fantastic one.
Reply 4
You aren't compatible as you have different attitudes to finances. Your boyfriend does have money as he's spending it on you for 'dinners and stuff', it's just proportional to his income and other expenditure.

However, if you go away on holiday together no, he shouldn't be expected to pay for everything; why would you think that? A relationship is a partnership, so you can share the expenses. Why not give up going out or accepting subsidies for your holidays for a while, then your boyfriend can afford to go away with you.
Reply 5
Original post by Surnia
You aren't compatible as you have different attitudes to finances. Your boyfriend does have money as he's spending it on you for 'dinners and stuff', it's just proportional to his income and other expenditure.
However, if you go away on holiday together no, he shouldn't be expected to pay for everything; why would you think that? A relationship is a partnership, so you can share the expenses. Why not give up going out or accepting subsidies for your holidays for a while, then your boyfriend can afford to go away with you.

Hi, does this one thing mean we aren’t compatible?
Original post by Anonymous
Hi, does this one thing mean we aren’t compatible?


Two things: priorities for spending and importance of holidays.
You decide whether those are dealbreakers for you.
Original post by Anonymous
Hey so I’m always use to dating men who have alot of money and take me to alot of holidays spend thousands on me. Well 2 of my ex’s. Anyways I’m dating this guy now for 2 years he has children and 1 of my ex had children too which is whatever.
Anyways , I have money from inheritance which I’ve been using for years. I’ve been on 7 holidays since I been with my current bf he’s been on 2 which is to his home country in the Carribean. Anyways he obviously doesn’t have much money. He has a car , has a flat in which his cousin lives there too even though it’s under my bf name and he pays majority of things there , he also has kids who he provides for and just a normal salary of about 30k. My ex’s was making more than 200k yearly and lived in pent houses.
Anyways I love going away, I obviously live with my parent and have no kids so I don’t have bills to pay. I love going on holiday and always tell my bf for us to go on holiday. He always say yeah yeah but nothing ever happens. I’ve told him you need to fully agree to it and then you can start saving otherwise you’ll never save for it. He said ‘when I bring my bit of the money’ which I’m assuming was him being cheeky as he pays for everything like dinners and stuff he’s even given me £300 for a holiday I went on with my girls. When he previously went on holiday he had to work 2 jobs in order to afford it. I’ve told him we can go somewhere cheap like Spain.
Are we not compatible as he can’t afford to go on holiday. I would love to travel with him. It’s making me think things because obviously with my ex’s I would do that. My friends always question it too because they say why don’t I ever go away with him and I’m always asking them to go on holiday.
Advice pls
Also if we was to go away should he pay for everything ? Let me know
Look, I obviously don't know every detail so i'll just say everything bluntly from what i got.
If you were to go away, I don't understand why he would pay for everything? I lowkey feel bad for him because your holding him to the standards of your exes. You're not exactly compatible as you have the idea that he should pay for alot of stuff even when he had to work 2 jobs in order to afford a holiday - that already says alot.
You're used to dating men who can just buy alot of stuff without working 2 jobs, not everyone can do this. If you want to travel with him, then why don't you just pay for his share of the holiday? Theres nothing wrong with that - it's not like you have no money anyway. If travelling with him really means that much to you, then it shouldn't matter if you're the one paying
Reply 8
You are a gold digger- just own it and find someone who lives up to your expectations.

Life is **** and expensive, if that’s what floats your boat do your thing but don’t try to pretend to be something you’re not
Original post by Anonymous
Hi, does this one thing mean we aren’t compatible?


Yes, it does mean that it says in the first 3 words that you're still a gold digger, no matter how you treat it.

About the side pieces that too be expected, you were also probably a side piece as well.
Original post by Faultybot
Yes, it does mean that it says in the first 3 words that you're still a gold digger, no matter how you treat it.
About the side pieces that too be expected, you were also probably a side piece as well.

I definitely wasn’t lol. They came to me and even said they were the side piece.
Original post by Anonymous
Look, I obviously don't know every detail so i'll just say everything bluntly from what i got.
If you were to go away, I don't understand why he would pay for everything? I lowkey feel bad for him because your holding him to the standards of your exes. You're not exactly compatible as you have the idea that he should pay for alot of stuff even when he had to work 2 jobs in order to afford a holiday - that already says alot.
You're used to dating men who can just buy alot of stuff without working 2 jobs, not everyone can do this. If you want to travel with him, then why don't you just pay for his share of the holiday? Theres nothing wrong with that - it's not like you have no money anyway. If travelling with him really means that much to you, then it shouldn't matter if you're the one paying

Unfortunately I think this is true. I’m holding him up to the standards of my exs. What can I do about this
He's been on 2 holidays to the Caribbean yet he won't go on holiday even once with you and he's not that bothered that you go on holiday without him. He's not exactly a keeper.
(edited 1 month ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Unfortunately I think this is true. I’m holding him up to the standards of my exs. What can I do about this
You need to face the reality of the situation. Gain a better understanding of his income/financial situation and what his spending is like. From there, if you like him enough - you can help him by saving up like maybe he doesn't need to be buying certain things or cheaper alternatives, or maybe get him a better job altogether. If you're not satisfied, then you should walk away. It isn't fair for him to be compared to someone else nor is it fair for you if you aren't feeling as content.
Once you have a better understanding and a clearer view of his financial situations, based on you're feelings, they will probably show you how compatible you are. I hope this somehow helps x

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