The Student Room Group

Moderating drinking when I need it to socialise

(Yes I’ve made threads about how much I drink before because people always usually point them out)

As an introvert who can’t really socialise sober idk how I'm meant to moderate how much I drink in social situations. There’s a point after I’ve had like 3 glasses of wine where I can behave like a normal person and socialise/join in conversation/make jokes but I always just seem to forget and go on drinking beyond that point. I can’t think of one social event I’ve been to since I started uni where I haven’t got embarrassingly hammered and ended up crying/throwing up/ranting to people are barely more than acquaintances, even when the event is something like a formal dinner where getting drunk isn’t appropriate and everyone else only has a few drinks.

This is literally just a social problem. When I’m drinking alone, I have no problem stopping myself and not getting drunk. I have around 6 units of alcohol when I’m drinking alone/on an average day, which is a lot, but it’s nothing crazy and I have full control of it. But when I’m drinking socially, I probably have more like 20+ units and end up hammered.

I have some formal dinners and uni linked events coming up and there will be representatives from law firms that I might want to apply to in the future there so it’s very much in my interested to not come across as a drunk idiot. I was thinking of putting on the dietary requirements form that I don’t drink so they won’t even offer me it but it kinda breaks my heart to turn down free wine. These dinners are also free so there is no financial incentive to not get drunk. Should I just not go? Idk what’s worse out of missing the event entirely or going and making a fool of myself. Obviously the solution is to work on myself until I can socialise without being drunk but that’s not gonna happen in the next few weeks before these events.

TLDR: introvert who needs alcohol to socialise looking for tips from fellow introverts
Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
I was thinking of putting on the dietary requirements form that I don’t drink so they won’t even offer me it


Sounds like a sensible idea
(edited 2 months ago)
Original post by Anonymous
(Yes I’ve made threads about how much I drink before because people always usually point them out)
As an introvert who can’t really socialise sober idk how I'm meant to moderate how much I drink in social situations. There’s a point after I’ve had like 3 glasses of wine where I can behave like a normal person and socialise/join in conversation/make jokes but I always just seem to forget and go on drinking beyond that point. I can’t think of one social event I’ve been to since I started uni where I haven’t got embarrassingly hammered and ended up crying/throwing up/ranting to people are barely more than acquaintances, even when the event is something like a formal dinner where getting drunk isn’t appropriate and everyone else only has a few drinks.
This is literally just a social problem. When I’m drinking alone, I have no problem stopping myself and not getting drunk. I have around 6 units of alcohol when I’m drinking alone/on an average day, which is a lot, but it’s nothing crazy and I have full control of it. But when I’m drinking socially, I probably have more like 20+ units and end up hammered.
I have some formal dinners and uni linked events coming up and there will be representatives from law firms that I might want to apply to in the future there so it’s very much in my interested to not come across as a drunk idiot. I was thinking of putting on the dietary requirements form that I don’t drink so they won’t even offer me it but it kinda breaks my heart to turn down free wine. These dinners are also free so there is no financial incentive to not get drunk. Should I just not go? Idk what’s worse out of missing the event entirely or going and making a fool of myself. Obviously the solution is to work on myself until I can socialise without being drunk but that’s not gonna happen in the next few weeks before these events.
TLDR: introvert who needs alcohol to socialise looking for tips from fellow introverts

Treat it as a challenge. Three and No More!
Reply 3
Original post by ageshallnot
Treat it as a challenge. Three and No More!

I've tried that and every time I start off absolutely certain that I'm not gonna get drunk and I'm only having a few drinks then without fail I end up way drunker than everyone else, finishing other people's drinks and chugging my wine every time they come around to refill it lol
Reply 4
Original post by black tea
Sounds like a sensible idea

It's a double edged sword where I can either stay sober and come off as quiet/awkward and off putting or drink and come off as a drunk idiot which is also off putting though
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
It's a double edged sword where I can either stay sober and come off as quiet/awkward and off putting or drink and come off as a drunk idiot which is also off putting though

Better to come off as quiet, I would have thought
It would probably be easy to try and stay fully sober than trying to drink in moderation
Original post by Anonymous
(Yes I’ve made threads about how much I drink before because people always usually point them out)
As an introvert who can’t really socialise sober idk how I'm meant to moderate how much I drink in social situations. There’s a point after I’ve had like 3 glasses of wine where I can behave like a normal person and socialise/join in conversation/make jokes but I always just seem to forget and go on drinking beyond that point. I can’t think of one social event I’ve been to since I started uni where I haven’t got embarrassingly hammered and ended up crying/throwing up/ranting to people are barely more than acquaintances, even when the event is something like a formal dinner where getting drunk isn’t appropriate and everyone else only has a few drinks.
This is literally just a social problem. When I’m drinking alone, I have no problem stopping myself and not getting drunk. I have around 6 units of alcohol when I’m drinking alone/on an average day, which is a lot, but it’s nothing crazy and I have full control of it. But when I’m drinking socially, I probably have more like 20+ units and end up hammered.
I have some formal dinners and uni linked events coming up and there will be representatives from law firms that I might want to apply to in the future there so it’s very much in my interested to not come across as a drunk idiot. I was thinking of putting on the dietary requirements form that I don’t drink so they won’t even offer me it but it kinda breaks my heart to turn down free wine. These dinners are also free so there is no financial incentive to not get drunk. Should I just not go? Idk what’s worse out of missing the event entirely or going and making a fool of myself. Obviously the solution is to work on myself until I can socialise without being drunk but that’s not gonna happen in the next few weeks before these events.
TLDR: introvert who needs alcohol to socialise looking for tips from fellow introverts

I would recommend the dietary restriction - or even just mentioning you will only take one drink socially, as you feel it's impolite not to, but you refuse to any more than that.

Keep water on hand and drink some regularly during the events, and have a friend nearby to keep you in check.

But most of all, seek help from a doctor or other medical professional to help understand why socially your self-control crumbles and what you can do to combat there.

There is no shame in admitting that in social situations you have a problem.
I would think of it as necessary if you're going into a career in law - formal dinners are commonplace, and drinks will always be around.
Reply 8
Original post by Anonymous
I would recommend the dietary restriction - or even just mentioning you will only take one drink socially, as you feel it's impolite not to, but you refuse to any more than that.
Keep water on hand and drink some regularly during the events, and have a friend nearby to keep you in check.
But most of all, seek help from a doctor or other medical professional to help understand why socially your self-control crumbles and what you can do to combat there.
There is no shame in admitting that in social situations you have a problem.
I would think of it as necessary if you're going into a career in law - formal dinners are commonplace, and drinks will always be around.

I get told to see a doctor fairly frequently on my posts and it’s still not advice I ever intend to take. I’ll probably just set myself the personal goal of only having a few drinks then I’m not fully committed to remaining sober like I would be if I put on the form that I don’t drink at all

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