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is this some form of an ocd?

i always feel so ******* dirty. mostly on the inside, but my skin, my clothes, my teeth, my hair, too, everything just feels filthy, no matter how often i shower/change/brush. and my internal organs feel like they are literally rotting - when i first wake up its not so bad but eating makes things a million times worse, and i dread every meal because i immediately get the urge to just shower/change and brush my teeth for ages. i often have to wash my hands with bleach because nothing else removes the smell of food from my hands.

but i'm not afraid of germs or anything like that. so could this still be an ocd or am i just weird?

(edited 12 months ago)

Reply 1

username6682389

Original post by Ciel.

i always feel so ******* dirty. mostly on the inside, but my skin, my clothes, my teeth, my hair, too, everything just feels filthy, no matter how often i shower/change/brush. and my internal organs feel like they are literally rotting - when i first wake up its not so bad but eating makes things a million times worse, and i dread every meal because i immediately get the urge to just shower/change and brush my teeth for ages. i often have to wash my hands with bleach because nothing else removes the smell of food from my hands.
but i'm not afraid of germs or anything like that. so could this still be an ocd or am i just weird?

it may be an ocd. washing ur hands with bleach could be dangerous. don't do it

Reply 2

Ciel.

Original post by hh1209

it may be an ocd. washing ur hands with bleach could be dangerous. don't do it

nothing else gives the same clean-feeling effect tbh

Reply 3

username6979265

Sounds more like a phobia than OCD as such. Best to speak to your GP or possibly a counsellor so you can talk through and understand the mental process and possibly the cause of it.

Reply 4

College student2

Original post by Ciel.

i always feel so ******* dirty. mostly on the inside, but my skin, my clothes, my teeth, my hair, too, everything just feels filthy, no matter how often i shower/change/brush. and my internal organs feel like they are literally rotting - when i first wake up its not so bad but eating makes things a million times worse, and i dread every meal because i immediately get the urge to just shower/change and brush my teeth for ages. i often have to wash my hands with bleach because nothing else removes the smell of food from my hands.
but i'm not afraid of germs or anything like that. so could this still be an ocd or am i just weird?

This definitely could be OCD (coming from someone who’s diagnosed), although it’s obviously not possible to be completely sure based off this short post. You don’t have to be afraid of germs to have it, there are different subtypes of OCD, and some have nothing to do with germs. Also, some people who do have a cleanliness-related subtype describe experiencing feelings of extreme disgust as much as fear.

To count as obsessions that may be related to OCD, the thoughts and your attempts to alleviate them need to take up a noticeable amount of your time every day, and/or cause you a lot of distress. If you’re interested in pursuing a diagnosis, the clinician may also require the thoughts to have lasted across several weeks or longer (otherwise it’s possible that you’re “just” having a period of obsessional thinking that will end without intervention, rather than having a long-lasting diagnosable disorder).

Do you feel like if you don’t shower, change your clothes, brush your teeth often, wash your hands with bleach, etc, something bad will happen? Or do you feel like you need to perform those actions to reduce a distressing negative emotion in yourself (fear, disgust, etc)? If you answered yes to either of those, it sounds like those actions are compulsions (the “C” in OCD).

Here’s a link that might help you, which outlines the OCD diagnostic criteria from two of the most commonly used manuals:
https://gpnotebook.com/en-GB/pages/psychiatry/obsessive-compulsive-disorder/diagnostic-criteria

Let me know if you have any other questions I might be able to help with! :smile: