Did I over react? Boyfriends sexual request
So me and my boyfriend have been together for about a year he’s 21 and I’m 19 while we were getting in the moment he asked if he would do something for him I asked it depends usually it’s anal which I’d always a straight NO! he asked me if I still had my old school uniform it’s in the loft he then asked if my sisters would fit me as he thinks were the same size we are but still that’s not the point I then completely killed the mood and I kind of started shouting at him I get he wanted a bit of roleplay but to ask if I can borrow my sisters uniform for him because mines in the loft? She’s at her besties tonight so I would of obviously washed it after but I’m a bit unsure of what to make of the situation did i over react just a little bit because I feel kind of bad now?
Reply 1
God no, you didn't overreact at all - I understand the desire to roleplay, although I've always found the notion of a schoolgirl roleplay incredibly creepy - but asking someone to wear their sister's uniform for a sexual desire? That takes some nerve.
The question I would be asking is why he thought of it in the first place, since it has some implications on how he views your old uniform as 'sexy' and your sisters' included.
Some communication without shouting may be necessary, but I assure you there is no overreaction on your part.
It's a disgusting question since the loft clearly cannot be that much of an issue to get to that you MUST borrow your sister's uniform.
I hope this helps.
The question I would be asking is why he thought of it in the first place, since it has some implications on how he views your old uniform as 'sexy' and your sisters' included.
Some communication without shouting may be necessary, but I assure you there is no overreaction on your part.
It's a disgusting question since the loft clearly cannot be that much of an issue to get to that you MUST borrow your sister's uniform.
I hope this helps.
Did you overreact? Maybe. I think he's made that request without really thinking through how that would look to you, and he's figured there's no harm in asking you to use your sister's uniform. In the round it's not a bad thing that he's willing to ask for things that he wants in this context. Anal and school uniform are pretty unoriginal in that regard and perhaps reflective of your boyfriend's lack of experience (I don't say that in a disparaging way; on any reading at the age of 21 he is inexperienced compared to someone in their 30s or 40s), but it is important that he's willing to keep those lines of communication open. It's important for both of you to be able to do that.
At the same time, your reaction to that is entirely understandable. I've never been asked to wear a school uniform for sex (probably because I'm a guy) and it's not a fantasy that I find to be particularly savoury anyway, but even my skin crawls a bit at the thought of you wearing your actual sister's actual school uniform to have sex in. I think he should have thought about that a bit more before asking. And in reality, whether you shout at him or not, the request has killed the mood anyway, so nothing is happening at that stage irrespective of how you react. So it's all ultimately heading in the same direction.
I don't think you should hold it against your boyfriend going forwards though, and it's probably best to talk about it. Conceding that you overreacted is not a bad thing (even when you may have thought that you didn't), and I'd let him know that it did kill the mood for you. Again, stress that you're not judging him for that because there will definitely be more times in your sex life when on or the other of you does or says something that kills the mood, but do it by way of an explanation for what happened here. Doing that will just allow you to smooth things over and get back to having a good sex life, hopefully with some slightly more original requests in future.
At the same time, your reaction to that is entirely understandable. I've never been asked to wear a school uniform for sex (probably because I'm a guy) and it's not a fantasy that I find to be particularly savoury anyway, but even my skin crawls a bit at the thought of you wearing your actual sister's actual school uniform to have sex in. I think he should have thought about that a bit more before asking. And in reality, whether you shout at him or not, the request has killed the mood anyway, so nothing is happening at that stage irrespective of how you react. So it's all ultimately heading in the same direction.
I don't think you should hold it against your boyfriend going forwards though, and it's probably best to talk about it. Conceding that you overreacted is not a bad thing (even when you may have thought that you didn't), and I'd let him know that it did kill the mood for you. Again, stress that you're not judging him for that because there will definitely be more times in your sex life when on or the other of you does or says something that kills the mood, but do it by way of an explanation for what happened here. Doing that will just allow you to smooth things over and get back to having a good sex life, hopefully with some slightly more original requests in future.
Reply 3
As someone older can just put my opinion in here, i think you did overreact. Role play is very common and fun and sexy school girl is especially popular, i have done it myself many years ago for my husband. Maybe asking you to wear your sisters uniform was a little over the mark but i really don't think he deserved that reaction, he probably was trying to provide and idea to fulfil his fantasy without the hassle of going into the loft. Men do not think like we do and i don't think he has an designs on your sister, i don't know about yours but my loft is a nightmare to get into so he was trying to help you help him.
Reply 4
I don't think anyone really minds the roleplay side, as said above it's just slightly creepy and unoriginal, but yeah he's been extremely ignorant in the way he has expressed himself and doesn't seem to understand the boundaries he's barged through, expecting to **** in someone else's clothes without them knowing is plain weird not to mention extremely disrespectful - assuming all you did was shout I don't think you overreacted.
I'd hope I was worrying about nothing, but I'd be wary of him being around your little sister after that.
I'd hope I was worrying about nothing, but I'd be wary of him being around your little sister after that.
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
God no, you didn't overreact at all - I understand the desire to roleplay, although I've always found the notion of a schoolgirl roleplay incredibly creepy - but asking someone to wear their sister's uniform for a sexual desire? That takes some nerve.
The question I would be asking is why he thought of it in the first place, since it has some implications on how he views your old uniform as 'sexy' and your sisters' included.
Some communication without shouting may be necessary, but I assure you there is no overreaction on your part.
It's a disgusting question since the loft clearly cannot be that much of an issue to get to that you MUST borrow your sister's uniform.
I hope this helps.
The question I would be asking is why he thought of it in the first place, since it has some implications on how he views your old uniform as 'sexy' and your sisters' included.
Some communication without shouting may be necessary, but I assure you there is no overreaction on your part.
It's a disgusting question since the loft clearly cannot be that much of an issue to get to that you MUST borrow your sister's uniform.
I hope this helps.
We spoke about it yesterday he apologised he was just thinking it would save time going in the loft and not waking my mum.
My sister wasn’t home at the time and so I understand why he thought it would be easier to go and get my sisters than go in the loft and wake my mum up.
He apologised how it came accross and I apologised for the miss understanding had I have borrowed my sisters uniform I would have properly cleaned it
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
God no, you didn't overreact at all - I understand the desire to roleplay, although I've always found the notion of a schoolgirl roleplay incredibly creepy - but asking someone to wear their sister's uniform for a sexual desire? That takes some nerve.
The question I would be asking is why he thought of it in the first place, since it has some implications on how he views your old uniform as 'sexy' and your sisters' included.
Some communication without shouting may be necessary, but I assure you there is no overreaction on your part.
It's a disgusting question since the loft clearly cannot be that much of an issue to get to that you MUST borrow your sister's uniform.
I hope this helps.
The question I would be asking is why he thought of it in the first place, since it has some implications on how he views your old uniform as 'sexy' and your sisters' included.
Some communication without shouting may be necessary, but I assure you there is no overreaction on your part.
It's a disgusting question since the loft clearly cannot be that much of an issue to get to that you MUST borrow your sister's uniform.
I hope this helps.
He only wanted me to use my sisters uniform for saving going in the loft which I understand now
Reply 7
21
Suggesting borrowing your sister’s uniform is a bit gross. I don’t think you overreacted so much
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