The Student Room Group

creative story for edexcel english lang

now it's not great but I wrote it in 30 minutes and I want to know what it would get out of 40 if anyone knows please tell me thanks!


The sun had set, casting a soft orange glow over the station. The bustling crowd gradually thinned as people began to make their way towards home a faint stench of stale urine and sweat hung in the air despite the crisp, cool breeze blowing through the tunnels. Mice scurried about; their tiny bodies silhouetted against the fading light. The floor of the station was a maze of cracks and crevices, perfect for the little creatures to hide in. The approaching train's headlights illuminated the platform, giving a glimpse of the scurrying mice before they darted into the shadows. Rush hour had begun, with people hurrying and talking, their faces lit up by the glow of their phones.

Amidst a bustling crowd, a young girl sat on a folding chair. Her small frame was barely visible among the sea of people. Nevertheless, she played her cello gracefully and precisely, her slender and delicate fingers moving easily over the strings. Despite the noise and chaos around her, her passion for classical music was clear in how her face contorted with emotion as she played.

A few passersby would pause to listen as she played her music, while others would chuckle at her unconventional taste. She didn't care; she knew she was destined for greater things. But sometimes, someone would grin warmly and toss some spare change into her hat. And that made her day.

One day, an elderly man stopped in his tracks he had a kind and crinkled face, lined with years of experience and knowledge. His smile was gentle and welcoming, showing a glimpse of yellowed teeth as he rustled through his pockets, the faint clinks of coins before dropping them into the girl's hat she gently smiled and nodded to acknowledge his kindness before he continued his way.

As the seasons changed and winter brought harsh conditions, this small act of kindness became a regular occurrence between them. Despite her frostbitten fingers, she persisted in playing her music every day. Her posture straightened and her movements became more fluid and purposeful with each passing day. She now had a repertoire of four songs, each more intricate and skilful than the last. Despite time passing and routine setting in, her face showed newfound confidence and determination. Without fail, the man would return to listen to her play and drop a few coins into her hat.

Their daily rituals had become a source of comfort for them. So, when the old man returned to the station, he longed to hear the familiar melodies echoing through the tunnels. But all that remained was her chair. He sat down in her place and noticed a small slip of paper lying on the cracked surface. Picking it up, he read the words scribbled onto it.

"Thank you."

A single tear escaped from his eye. His hands grasped the slip of paper, feeling the rough edges and creases caused by his grip. The warmth of the sunlight on his skin was a welcome sensation in the cold underground station

As the bustling crowd gradually thinned out, he let himself drift into memories of a younger self, sitting in this same chair, he could not help but feel a pang of nostalgia mixed with regret for all that had changed since then.

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