The Student Room Group

Much older men perving

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Original post by anonymous
does anyone else get this problem and hate it? it's one of the reasons that stopped me going to beach in my bikini on holiday much older men and when i say older men in there 50s 60s 70s staring at me am only 18 don t mind guys doing it around my age but when much older men do it its annoying



Original post by zack19002006
i get that feeling i was at the beach last week trying to get a tan and a lot of older women caped staring at me i got nervous because I'm only 18 male and it just makes me week to my stomach

Sorry to say this, but you can't 'pick and choose' who finds you attractive; it's a package deal. Good looking people are noticed by everyone. If you're going to present yourself in a revealing or "sexy" way, you're going to get all kinds of people noticing you; some of whom you'll like, others you won't. For girls, as well as the cute / buff guys, it will also include the lairy builder types, the stalkers etc. as well as the "Dirty Old Men". For guys, as well as hot girls, you may notice gay guys checking you out as well as the older women (it's less common for older women to perve over young guys than older men over young girls.)

If someone could design the perfect outfit that would make the right people "wet themselves" and leave everyone else (the undesirables) indifferent, that person would be head-hunted by every major fashion / designer label on the planet... unfortunately, it doesn't work like that in the real world.

How are these people looking? If it's a quick 2 second sideways glance as they're walking past, I wouldn't worry about it (they're probably doing it to almost everyone there TBF). However, if they're stopping and blatantly gawping, then you're going to have to grow a pair and stand up for yourself.

As pointed out earlier, the reason some people do this is because they think they can get away with it. If you show you're someone who won't stand for it, they're far less likely to do it. You can give them a dirty look such as the stink-eye (e.g. that "What you looking at?" type sneer)... chances are they'll hang their head in shame. If that doesn't work, then publicly make a scene and say (yell) something like "Take a picture, it'll last longer!"... That'll embarrass him and will make others think twice about perving over you (or anyone else for that matter). Even if that doesn't work, someone's bound to notice and come to your aid (Good guys are far more likely to do this now than before, thanks to the #Me Too movement)
(edited 2 months ago)
Original post by Anonymous
School uniforms by way of knee length school uniforms are not modest brother. Do not stick ur head in the deep western sand my brother.

Please don't justify the way you are thinking with Islam. Islam is a beautiful religion and you are making it look horrible. The person you replied to clearly said "young girls" in school uniform, this implies they are likely anywhere between the ages of 10-15. Many of these girls uniforms will comprise of trousers, and yet rape/harassment is known to happen. Even if these 10 year old girls were wearing a skirt, any person looking at them in a weird way has something wrong with their head. This is nothing to do with modesty, but everything to do with creeps. I hope you do not think this way about 10 year old girls just because of uniforms.
Please reflect on your thinking and seek guidance from your religion properly instead.
Original post by Anonymous
Maybe if you dressed modestly it wouldnt happen.
Alhamdulidah

people who dress modestly also get disgusting comments btw. how u dress has no implications on whether ppl will act disgusting towards you there are 6yr old children who dress in school uniform and still get assaulted. is that because of the way they dressed?
Original post by anonymous
Please don't justify the way you are thinking with Islam. Islam is a beautiful religion and you are making it look horrible. The person you replied to clearly said "young girls" in school uniform, this implies they are likely anywhere between the ages of 10-15. Many of these girls uniforms will comprise of trousers, and yet rape/harassment is known to happen. Even if these 10 year old girls were wearing a skirt, any person looking at them in a weird way has something wrong with their head. This is nothing to do with modesty, but everything to do with creeps. I hope you do not think this way about 10 year old girls just because of uniforms.
Please reflect on your thinking and seek guidance from your religion properly instead.

Well said.

I think this persons comments reflect just how sex-obsessed people are these days; of course the only reason girls would wear short skirts, bikinis etc is to attract boys and not because it's comfortable, feminine, the weather's hot or whatever. I wonder if these people are so vocal about guys who take their tops off? 🤔

Reminds me of another so-called Muslim who lent over to me and said that women had no shame because they were going to a sauna / steam room in a bikini... he seemed to think it was everything to do with them showing off their bodies, and nothing to do with the fact that it's very hot and sweaty in there; so I had to put him in his place.



spoiler

(edited 2 months ago)
Reply 24
Original post by MinnieMin49
Yea ofc! Like


we as muslim girls cant wear those
but its nice to enlightened
Reply 25
Original post by Anonymous
Please don't justify the way you are thinking with Islam. Islam is a beautiful religion and you are making it look horrible. The person you replied to clearly said "young girls" in school uniform, this implies they are likely anywhere between the ages of 10-15. Many of these girls uniforms will comprise of trousers, and yet rape/harassment is known to happen. Even if these 10 year old girls were wearing a skirt, any person looking at them in a weird way has something wrong with their head. This is nothing to do with modesty, but everything to do with creeps. I hope you do not think this way about 10 year old girls just because of uniforms.
Please reflect on your thinking and seek guidance from your religion properly instead.

thank you
this is a person who seems to hate the west a bit too much and if they have a problem its seems like they dont need to share it.
and girls between the age of 12-15 are in high school here in england
meaning they are entitled to make own choices.
plz just keep islam out of this.
also if u hate the west just keep it to ur self.
me as an african muslim
was born in a eurpoean city and live in england and i havent seen any person as wrong as u.
Original post by Old Skool Freak
Sorry to say this, but you can't 'pick and choose' who finds you attractive; it's a package deal. Good looking people are noticed by everyone. If you're going to present yourself in a revealing or "sexy" way, you're going to get all kinds of people noticing you; some of whom you'll like, others you won't. For girls, as well as the cute / buff guys, it will also include the lairy builder types, the stalkers etc. as well as the "Dirty Old Men". For guys, as well as hot girls, you may notice gay guys checking you out as well as the older women (it's less common for older women to perve over young guys than older men over young girls.)
If someone could design the perfect outfit that would make the right people "wet themselves" and leave everyone else (the undesirables) indifferent, that person would be head-hunted by every major fashion / designer label on the planet... unfortunately, it doesn't work like that in the real world.
How are these people looking? If it's a quick 2 second sideways glance as they're walking past, I wouldn't worry about it (they're probably doing it to almost everyone there TBF). However, if they're stopping and blatantly gawping, then you're going to have to grow a pair and stand up for yourself.
As pointed out earlier, the reason some people do this is because they think they can get away with it. If you show you're someone who won't stand for it, they're far less likely to do it. You can give them a dirty look such as the stink-eye (e.g. that "What you looking at?" type sneer)... chances are they'll hang their head in shame. If that doesn't work, then publicly make a scene and say (yell) something like "Take a picture, it'll last longer!"... That'll embarrass him and will make others think twice about perving over you (or anyone else for that matter). Even if that doesn't work, someone's bound to notice and come to your aid (Good guys are far more likely to do this now than before, thanks to the #Me Too movement)
yeah but i already have a girlfriend but older people looking at me that's weird
Original post by Anonymous
School uniforms by way of knee length school uniforms are not modest brother. Do not stick ur head in the deep western sand my brother.

Shouldn't you also lower your gaze according to the Quran???

Also this is a huge self report that you thing school uniform to be unmodest - get a grip

The problem isn't what young children wear (or teens) its the fact that people are creepy around people who are very young and don't want the attention, and telling children they have to dress a certain way to avoid this is essentially saying, if sth happens to you its your fault and that the full grown adult is not responsible for what happens, which is bad for everyone bc 1) lets literal creeps/ criminals roam around society 2) makes victims further victimised by society
Original post by zack19002006
yeah but i already have a girlfriend but older people looking at me that's weird

That's fair enough... The point I'm trying to make is that you can't physically stop these people from looking at you, so I'm trying to give you a few pointers on how to deal with it, or so it doesn't bother you or get to you so much.

As I said before hand, it's far less common for older women to perve over young lads in the same way older men might perve over young girls / women. Do you know for a fact that they're having "Wild thoughts" about you? I'm a guy and I also work out, so I'm used to all sorts of people looking at me... I'm sure you know that guys who work out will often look at others to see how they compare and exchange tips etc (I even once got stopped by the Police, when an officer wanted to know about my training regime lol). Doesn't mean to say they all want to bang me (at least I hope it doesn't lol). As I said, good looking people are noticed by everyone, so maybe they're thinking "He obviously spends a lot of time taking care of himself, he must be very dedicated and focused". or even "I bet he spends longer in front of the mirror than I do". Maybe you're reminding them of their youth (you too will get old one day). Do you look your age? Is it possible they think that you're a be a bit older?

On the other hand... it's not all about getting sex or a partner, sometimes it's nice to just "Window Shop". I'm sure sometimes you see a nice car or something and you acknowledge it... it doesn't mean to say that you're on a mission to own or steal it does it (at least I hope it doesn't lol). As long as they're not touching themselves in front of you, or telling you in graphic detail what they would like to do to you given half a chance, I wouldn't let it get to you. After all, there's no law stating that you have to like them back.

One thing life has taught me is:- You're not in control of the things people say or do to you... but you ARE in control as to how you let these things affect you.

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