What should I do? I’m conflicted

I’m in year 13 and me and this guy used to be best friends back in year 11. We used to be very close friends up until october of y12. We did have slight feelings for each other but it wasn’t crazy and we never once acted upon it we both kind of ignored it and stayed as friends which worked. We haven’t really spoken for the whole of year 13, year 12 was kinda off and on. But he’s had a girlfriend since mid y12 and they’re still together now. She’s kind of intimidating tbh and a bit mean and *****y. Now we only have two weeks of sixth form left and I want to message him, just to say thanks for everything and thanks for the memories. But i’m conflicted on whether i should do it or not. I removed him from everything first of all so I’ll have to re add him. But i’m scared of his gfs reaction. One part of me is saying not to care and to send the message anyways because i was here first and it doesn’t matter because it’s just what people do on the last day. Another part of me thinks he’ll screenshot the message and laugh at me with her and she’ll come and shout at me for messaging him because she’s never liked the idea of me and him being friends. I don’t know what i want to do. I have a very strong urge to message him. I’ll probably never see or speak to him again. What should i do guys?

Reply 1

JDINCINERATOR

21

If your friend and his girlfriend laugh at you, then you should find better friends who care about you. Don't worry and overthink, do what you feel needs to be done and you'll have respect for yourself having done so. Say thanks for the memories to him and move on, don't let your mind force you into a state of inaction. What they may think won't matter to you because you won't see it and if they did react that way they're not worth knowing anymore.

Reply 2

seniest29

13

Original post by Anonymous

I’m in year 13 and me and this guy used to be best friends back in year 11. We used to be very close friends up until october of y12. We did have slight feelings for each other but it wasn’t crazy and we never once acted upon it we both kind of ignored it and stayed as friends which worked. We haven’t really spoken for the whole of year 13, year 12 was kinda off and on. But he’s had a girlfriend since mid y12 and they’re still together now. She’s kind of intimidating tbh and a bit mean and *****y. Now we only have two weeks of sixth form left and I want to message him, just to say thanks for everything and thanks for the memories. But i’m conflicted on whether i should do it or not. I removed him from everything first of all so I’ll have to re add him. But i’m scared of his gfs reaction. One part of me is saying not to care and to send the message anyways because i was here first and it doesn’t matter because it’s just what people do on the last day. Another part of me thinks he’ll screenshot the message and laugh at me with her and she’ll come and shout at me for messaging him because she’s never liked the idea of me and him being friends. I don’t know what i want to do. I have a very strong urge to message him. I’ll probably never see or speak to him again. What should i do guys?

icl i would say maybe tell him in person on the last day instead of messaging? because if his gf has issues w you guys being friends (there has to be some sort of reason or maybe she’s just possessive not enough context given) then it’s best to avoid issues and a misunderstanding as messaging him might be seen as you “moving to him” and wanting more (especially since u have to add him back on socials it wouldve been easier if you already had him) and more than just saying thank you. but if u say it irl you’re able to see his actual reaction (to see if he also misses being friends) and can also set boundaries so that the gf doesn’t get deluded and think u want something more off him. dek if i made sense but basically defo talk to him but face to face rather than over text

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

guys i don’t think im gonna do it😭😭 idk im terrified we haven’t spoken in almost two years so i doubt he’s feeling the same way and i feel like she’ll fight me. also i don’t even know what i wanna say and im bad at talking in person. i think im just gonna live in regret guys x

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

guys i don’t think im gonna do it😭😭 idk im terrified we haven’t spoken in almost two years so i doubt he’s feeling the same way and i feel like she’ll fight me. also i don’t even know what i wanna say and im bad at talking in person. i think im just gonna live in regret guys x