The Student Room Group

Being disgusting for 3 kids?

Guys I need immediate advice.

So I’m 24 and my bf is 37. Honestly he doesn’t seem this old lol he has 3 kids. I see him on the weekend every weekend for 3 years almost. I hid it from my mum as she use to do night shifts on weekend now she doesn’t I had to tell her I had a bf in January. I hate my family knowing because they are kind of judgment and because I’m the good child out of me and my older sis (35) I have more pressure to keep being good if you get me.

My mum asked if I’m going this weekend I said no I’m going out with my friends for her birthday. She said why u not going to his I said he has his kids( he doesn’t I just said that ). She said is he for you I said huh???? She said never mind.

An hour later she said she needs to talk to me she came to my room and said ‘I’m not telling you what to do I know your mature for your age but I’m advising you why don’t u date a man younger than you that’s single with no kids’ someone you can go holidays with and go out alot with.( this came up so randomly) I said I do go out with him every weekend.

My ex use to give my mum a lot of money and take me out every single day because he was loaded lol. And he had 2 kids by 2 different mums and he was 34.

I said u didn’t have a problem with him though.

This had really affected me. I didn’t know how to react I said this is why I don’t tell you anything she said no I want u to tell me stuff I’m just advising you I want what’s good for you.

I feel judged all the time for being with a man with 3 kids. I haven’t met them and don’t plan to until we want to get married or move in together. Which will be like 3/4 years. My jealous envious sister always tells me I’m disgusting for being with a man with 3 kids and a man older than even her. Bear in mind she has 2 different baby dads who have both abandoned her and her children. One being 14 one being 2. So she has no right to talk. Plus my sister was a stepdaughter to my dad who has now passed away.

Anyways I’m really affected by what my mum said. It seems like she has a bad feeling about him and never met him? Is this a sign

I wish I could spend more than the weekend with him but he lives an hour drive from me plus my mum would definitely feel a way if I wasn’t sleeping. At home everyday.

Pls no judgment I’m already suffering enough.
Well from your previous threads it seems clear the relationship isn't going anywhere unless you change your priorities. Its not like you're happy he has kids either.
Reply 2
Original post by StriderHort
Well from your previous threads it seems clear the relationship isn't going anywhere unless you change your priorities. Its not like you're happy he has kids either.

Sorry not to be rude. But this is a thread about current situation that happened today. It’s obviously not ideal he has kids and I don’t however, he doesn’t treat me bad how my ex’s did hence why I’m still with him. It’s not that I’m not happy he has kids I’m not delusional they are here forever ,I said multiple times I wouldn’t be happy if he can’t prioritise his time of a relationship alongside kids which is fair enough!

Please I did ask for advice on this particular situation with my mum!
Feel bad for the kids here, their dad is dating someone who refuses to engage with their existence and insists he split his time between them and her rather than spend time with both together...
Reply 4
Original post by artful_lounger
Feel bad for the kids here, their dad is dating someone who refuses to engage with their existence and insists he split his time between them and her rather than spend time with both together...

He has not asked me to meet them. He’s never insisted he’s kept me and his kids separate!!!

Quick Reply