Sharing a room is destroying my mental health

I'm 18 years old and doing A-Levels in a few weeks. I share a room with my 15 year old sibling (same gender) and it is absolutely destroying me. I have absolutely no privacy or space to my own and I'm not sure how much longer I can take it. I'm also autistic which means socialisation drains me to my core and I regularly need alone time to recharge and not worry about constantly being percieved. To make matters worse, my bed is by the door so they have to walk through my ”side” to go in and out and it sounds ridiculous but I can't stand it. Once I've left a day of sixth form, all I need is to lay in a dark room and usually cry just to let feelings out of my system (this sounds ridiculous but my mental state is shocking at the moment). But because of the room situation, I can't ever have alone time and there isn't a single other room in our house which is ever empty (our house is very small). I do have a small desk in this room however, I find it fully impossible to revise in this environnement. With my exams coming up, I just don't know how I'm going to cope. I've been going to the closest library to me when I can but it's over an hour away and isn't open weekends. I'm genuinely so stuck and even without these exams, just living like this is destroying me. My mental health is so poor and my parents don't listen to my complaints. Of course I'm aware that it's just our situation and we can't do anything to change it but they just disregard my feelings and tell me that I'm being selfish and loads of other people have to share a room so I should just get over it but I don't know a single other person in my situation. I'm living every day just longing until I get to uni and can finally, for the first time in my. Life get my own room but even then I really worry about how I'm going to be able to cope with coming back home during holidays etc.

Sorry for the massive rant, I'm just really struggling and needed to get all of that off of my chestn

Reply 1

kass03

That sounds really tough, I'm sorry you have to go through this, and that there isnt much that can change it. It can be nice to find a change to make but I understand sometimes its not really possible; my own room is a box room, so I'm not sharing but also sometimes I feel far too big for the house I live in. It feels constricting and like there is no where to move. Makes it tough to do what I want, especially art, cause I like to spread everything out and take up room, but my room is half filled with even a single bed. I hope university can be better suited for you. I think when it comes to holidays, you can at least know that you're going back to your own accommodation at the end of it.

Wishing you all the best for your exams, and please, rant all that you need. Like you say, you needed to get it off your chest, it can be helpful to rant about something.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by kass03

That sounds really tough, I'm sorry you have to go through this, and that there isnt much that can change it. It can be nice to find a change to make but I understand sometimes its not really possible; my own room is a box room, so I'm not sharing but also sometimes I feel far too big for the house I live in. It feels constricting and like there is no where to move. Makes it tough to do what I want, especially art, cause I like to spread everything out and take up room, but my room is half filled with even a single bed. I hope university can be better suited for you. I think when it comes to holidays, you can at least know that you're going back to your own accommodation at the end of it.
Wishing you all the best for your exams, and please, rant all that you need. Like you say, you needed to get it off your chest, it can be helpful to rant about something.

Thank you so much for reading and for your insight. As you said, I'm aware I cannot change the situation but simply needed to get what I was feeling off of my chest.

Your Situation seems tough too, especially it being hard to do what you enjoy. I wish you the best also and we will both be in a better situation some day <3

Reply 3

kass03

Original post by Anonymous

Thank you so much for reading and for your insight. As you said, I'm aware I cannot change the situation but simply needed to get what I was feeling off of my chest.
Your Situation seems tough too, especially it being hard to do what you enjoy. I wish you the best also and we will both be in a better situation some day <3

Reply 4

InactiveLuka

Original post by Anonymous

I'm 18 years old and doing A-Levels in a few weeks. I share a room with my 15 year old sibling (same gender) and it is absolutely destroying me. I have absolutely no privacy or space to my own and I'm not sure how much longer I can take it. I'm also autistic which means socialisation drains me to my core and I regularly need alone time to recharge and not worry about constantly being percieved. To make matters worse, my bed is by the door so they have to walk through my ”side” to go in and out and it sounds ridiculous but I can't stand it. Once I've left a day of sixth form, all I need is to lay in a dark room and usually cry just to let feelings out of my system (this sounds ridiculous but my mental state is shocking at the moment). But because of the room situation, I can't ever have alone time and there isn't a single other room in our house which is ever empty (our house is very small). I do have a small desk in this room however, I find it fully impossible to revise in this environnement. With my exams coming up, I just don't know how I'm going to cope. I've been going to the closest library to me when I can but it's over an hour away and isn't open weekends. I'm genuinely so stuck and even without these exams, just living like this is destroying me. My mental health is so poor and my parents don't listen to my complaints. Of course I'm aware that it's just our situation and we can't do anything to change it but they just disregard my feelings and tell me that I'm being selfish and loads of other people have to share a room so I should just get over it but I don't know a single other person in my situation. I'm living every day just longing until I get to uni and can finally, for the first time in my. Life get my own room but even then I really worry about how I'm going to be able to cope with coming back home during holidays etc.
Sorry for the massive rant, I'm just really struggling and needed to get all of that off of my chestn

I don't have advice but I am in a similar situation and I'm 23, in uni sharing a room still with my older sibling who is 30, she goes to work and has to leave early and sleep early. By the time she is asleep, I have to leave to take my laptop, the charger, the mouse, the books, everything down to the livingroom where my mother is working til 12am and she will constantly moan abt how I live my life, when I'm just trying to have a space of my own, game, study, socialise which I think I have a good balance of unlike her who is a workaholic with no social life and I don't see how not resting at all is any better. Anyway, I am a night owl on top of this so I sleep later than both of them and when I do go to sleep, I dread it as both my sister and I have continued to use the same bed we've had since we were toddlers. It's so incredibly frustrating and all I can do it hope to save for a new bed but I also would prefer to move out as a full time student. I also find it hard to get a job even for the summer, but I've had it up to here with sharing a room. My mental health is so down because of it, I can't spend my days in my own room because of her (my sister), and my brother has his own room which I find so lucky as he is a student with a desk of his own a private place to study... me? I have no privacy either and I can't have friends around without my sister feeling awkward abt having to allow my friends in OUR room but there is no where else for me to go. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you, you are not alone and are welcome to message me for a rant or anything really, because I feel like I'm in the same boat

Reply 5

PAPYRUS HOPELINE

Official Rep

Hi there, thank you for being so honest and sharing whats impacting you right now. It sounds like the situation at home isn't ideal right now, but there is little scope for change. We can hear how hard you are woring to try to find a space to revise for your exams but that the library is quite a way away. We were wondering if you havea friend you could revise with, maybe at their home or in the park if the weather is nice. They may be finding it hard to revise alone an might appreciat some company? We understand that you feel your parents are not listening to your complaints, we wonder if you could offer them a solution interms of your sibling staying out of your room after 1/2 an hr from coming home from school, time for them to get sorted after their day, to give you a few hrs peace? Maybe there can be some compromise in the short term? We understand your frustrations and it feels like others do to, the advice above is really supportive.