Ithink the idea of sex is super intimidating. Any advice?
In case it’s not obvious from either the title or the following body of text… me - virgin 
It just seems like it’s so intimidating and low reward to start with. Like you have to be good at it or there’s “low compatibility“ which is already scary as **** cause how tf are you gonna be good at something you’ve never done.
And then even with that people have affairs which seems to be most of the time only about the sex which I guess means the partner isn’t good at it. And society seems to be so driven by sex. Every movie now has to include it, random dating and drama shows that all seem to only be about it.
Like the idea of it sounds incredible. Being that physically close and intimate with someone and the emotional connection that is created and grown in those moments. But it also doesn’t feel like that’s realistic for some reason. People openly discussing it on social media, especially if it’s bad and disparaging that. And it seems like the only thing that matters to people. Like I’m genuinely worried that if I ended up in a relationship it’s gonna start of bad because I’m gonna be a bad kisser, because how tf am I gonna be good at that when I haven’t done it before. And thats the shallow end. The entrée… if I can’t do that **** I’m defo not gonna be able to what comes later. And it all seems like such a big deal. And everyone around me has been playing this game since they were like 15-18. I’m not gonna meet someone at this point who’s gonna be as far behind me… so isn't it only gonna end in disappointment? And idm other things about myself, like I think I have some cool things to offer, but it just seems like sex is the main thing now, especially with young people in my generation. It’s not the sprinkles on the cake, the sprinkles is if you’re funny or smart and stuff. The main thing that’s important seems like sexual compatibility. At least that’s all I hear about in my social circles but I’m willing to be told that that’s not normal. Idk if this is a dumb topic, but it keeps me up at night. Help…
TL;DR sex seems to be a massive part of relationships and compatibility now and the thought of being bad at it seems high stakes and terrifying
It just seems like it’s so intimidating and low reward to start with. Like you have to be good at it or there’s “low compatibility“ which is already scary as **** cause how tf are you gonna be good at something you’ve never done.
And then even with that people have affairs which seems to be most of the time only about the sex which I guess means the partner isn’t good at it. And society seems to be so driven by sex. Every movie now has to include it, random dating and drama shows that all seem to only be about it.
Like the idea of it sounds incredible. Being that physically close and intimate with someone and the emotional connection that is created and grown in those moments. But it also doesn’t feel like that’s realistic for some reason. People openly discussing it on social media, especially if it’s bad and disparaging that. And it seems like the only thing that matters to people. Like I’m genuinely worried that if I ended up in a relationship it’s gonna start of bad because I’m gonna be a bad kisser, because how tf am I gonna be good at that when I haven’t done it before. And thats the shallow end. The entrée… if I can’t do that **** I’m defo not gonna be able to what comes later. And it all seems like such a big deal. And everyone around me has been playing this game since they were like 15-18. I’m not gonna meet someone at this point who’s gonna be as far behind me… so isn't it only gonna end in disappointment? And idm other things about myself, like I think I have some cool things to offer, but it just seems like sex is the main thing now, especially with young people in my generation. It’s not the sprinkles on the cake, the sprinkles is if you’re funny or smart and stuff. The main thing that’s important seems like sexual compatibility. At least that’s all I hear about in my social circles but I’m willing to be told that that’s not normal. Idk if this is a dumb topic, but it keeps me up at night. Help…
TL;DR sex seems to be a massive part of relationships and compatibility now and the thought of being bad at it seems high stakes and terrifying
Original post by Anonymous
In case it’s not obvious from either the title or the following body of text… me - virgin
It just seems like it’s so intimidating and low reward to start with. Like you have to be good at it or there’s “low compatibility“ which is already scary as **** cause how tf are you gonna be good at something you’ve never done.
And then even with that people have affairs which seems to be most of the time only about the sex which I guess means the partner isn’t good at it. And society seems to be so driven by sex. Every movie now has to include it, random dating and drama shows that all seem to only be about it.
Like the idea of it sounds incredible. Being that physically close and intimate with someone and the emotional connection that is created and grown in those moments. But it also doesn’t feel like that’s realistic for some reason. People openly discussing it on social media, especially if it’s bad and disparaging that. And it seems like the only thing that matters to people. Like I’m genuinely worried that if I ended up in a relationship it’s gonna start of bad because I’m gonna be a bad kisser, because how tf am I gonna be good at that when I haven’t done it before. And thats the shallow end. The entrée… if I can’t do that **** I’m defo not gonna be able to what comes later. And it all seems like such a big deal. And everyone around me has been playing this game since they were like 15-18. I’m not gonna meet someone at this point who’s gonna be as far behind me… so isn't it only gonna end in disappointment? And idm other things about myself, like I think I have some cool things to offer, but it just seems like sex is the main thing now, especially with young people in my generation. It’s not the sprinkles on the cake, the sprinkles is if you’re funny or smart and stuff. The main thing that’s important seems like sexual compatibility. At least that’s all I hear about in my social circles but I’m willing to be told that that’s not normal. Idk if this is a dumb topic, but it keeps me up at night. Help…
TL;DR sex seems to be a massive part of relationships and compatibility now and the thought of being bad at it seems high stakes and terrifying
It just seems like it’s so intimidating and low reward to start with. Like you have to be good at it or there’s “low compatibility“ which is already scary as **** cause how tf are you gonna be good at something you’ve never done.
And then even with that people have affairs which seems to be most of the time only about the sex which I guess means the partner isn’t good at it. And society seems to be so driven by sex. Every movie now has to include it, random dating and drama shows that all seem to only be about it.
Like the idea of it sounds incredible. Being that physically close and intimate with someone and the emotional connection that is created and grown in those moments. But it also doesn’t feel like that’s realistic for some reason. People openly discussing it on social media, especially if it’s bad and disparaging that. And it seems like the only thing that matters to people. Like I’m genuinely worried that if I ended up in a relationship it’s gonna start of bad because I’m gonna be a bad kisser, because how tf am I gonna be good at that when I haven’t done it before. And thats the shallow end. The entrée… if I can’t do that **** I’m defo not gonna be able to what comes later. And it all seems like such a big deal. And everyone around me has been playing this game since they were like 15-18. I’m not gonna meet someone at this point who’s gonna be as far behind me… so isn't it only gonna end in disappointment? And idm other things about myself, like I think I have some cool things to offer, but it just seems like sex is the main thing now, especially with young people in my generation. It’s not the sprinkles on the cake, the sprinkles is if you’re funny or smart and stuff. The main thing that’s important seems like sexual compatibility. At least that’s all I hear about in my social circles but I’m willing to be told that that’s not normal. Idk if this is a dumb topic, but it keeps me up at night. Help…
TL;DR sex seems to be a massive part of relationships and compatibility now and the thought of being bad at it seems high stakes and terrifying
If you don't like to have sex don't have sex pm me if you feel like this
You have sex if you want to have sex and only when you are ready. You might not feel like having sex at all, or might even want to feel ready in your 20's, 30's or so forth. Some people feel that its the be all and end all and sleep with loads of people. Thats up to them. If you want to meet someone special first and dated for quite some time before you are ready.
Definitely dont put too much emphasis on the sex, but having a good time on the dates and getting to know a person. Then, when it becomes more serious, you can then at that point tackle the subject.
Definitely dont put too much emphasis on the sex, but having a good time on the dates and getting to know a person. Then, when it becomes more serious, you can then at that point tackle the subject.
yeah im scared of the exact same thing as you... but i guess if someone dumps you just because youre a bad kisser or bad at sex i guess youre better off without them because thats just shallow. personally i have no experience in the field either but i guess we'll just find our right person eventually...
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