The Student Room Group

Boyfriend holiday help

My boyfriend likes his own space and so doesn’t see me too often however in the last few months it has got a lot worse and my family have began to be upset by this, telling me I should speak to him about it. My boyfriend told me his mum, dad and sister have booked a week holiday abroad for his 21st birthday. Me and my boyfriend have been together nearly 4 years and I get along with his family. I haven’t been invited on the holiday and felt slightly hurt as he has been invited on holidays with my family in the past. I brought it up to my parents, siblings and grandparents and they were all upset and said they are upset with they way him and his family leave me out all the time. However my father said he bumped into my boyfriend’s mother a few weeks ago whilst on a walk and she had said that my boyfriend is not treating me well and if she were me she’d have a word with him. Should I be upset about the 21st holiday? I don’t even know what to say to my boyfriend as I don’t want to cause an argument.
Original post by Anonymous
My boyfriend likes his own space and so doesn’t see me too often however in the last few months it has got a lot worse and my family have began to be upset by this, telling me I should speak to him about it. My boyfriend told me his mum, dad and sister have booked a week holiday abroad for his 21st birthday. Me and my boyfriend have been together nearly 4 years and I get along with his family. I haven’t been invited on the holiday and felt slightly hurt as he has been invited on holidays with my family in the past. I brought it up to my parents, siblings and grandparents and they were all upset and said they are upset with they way him and his family leave me out all the time. However my father said he bumped into my boyfriend’s mother a few weeks ago whilst on a walk and she had said that my boyfriend is not treating me well and if she were me she’d have a word with him. Should I be upset about the 21st holiday? I don’t even know what to say to my boyfriend as I don’t want to cause an argument.


There could be lots of reasons that he is doing this but you do need to speak to him and address it.

Fearing an argument I understand but this is something that upsets you so you need to speak about it. Don’t diminish your own needs by ignoring it.

There might be genuine reasons for it and you can work out a plan that meets both your needs. Maybe he simply hasn’t realised how it’s making you feel so just needs to be more mindful. Maybe he’s not as invested in the relationship. But you need to talk to find out.

Unfortunately love doesn’t always equal compatibility, so if you can’t find a medium ground that works for you both it might be time to part ways, because you both deserve to be happy!
Personal space is one thing but this sounds like he just wants to opt out of a lot of the relationship and isn't taking it seriously tbh, after 4 years I'd be expecting a lot better.
Hiya- I'm in a similiar situation and I was wondering if you spoke to him and what happened? I've been with my boyfriend for two years, and I have never met his grandparents or cousins, I can count on one hand how many times I've been. invited out with them, been given a lift home etc when my family have been exceptionally kind to my boyfriend- he has met my extended family, gone on holidays with us for free, been given a lot of lifts etc, invited out to dinner

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