The Student Room Group

Stereotype men with kids

Random thought.

Why is there such a stereotype dating men with kids?
What happens in relationship when dating these men?
How does it effect the relationship ?
How often should you see a man that has kids?( assuming he takes care of them and he seems them weekly )
Reply 1
Are you really not prioritised in the relationship? Surely the man has to prioritise his gf otherwise he’ll be single forever lol
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
Are you really not prioritised in the relationship? Surely the man has to prioritise his gf otherwise he’ll be single forever lol

If you became a parent you'd understand the priorities.
I don’t think any decent bloke is going to prioritise a GF over kids. It’d speak volumes if he did.

How often to see them depends on countless factors, age, distance, work, legal requirements, flexibility etc.
Original post by Anonymous
Random thought.
Why is there such a stereotype dating men with kids?
What happens in relationship when dating these men?
How does it effect the relationship ?
How often should you see a man that has kids?( assuming he takes care of them and he seems them weekly )

As I woman I would be conflicted to date a man with kids. How crazy is his ex? Will she come first? And the worrying of starting your own family. If I did, I would want him to prioritise his kid(s) over me. Regards to how often to see him would be when we are both comfortable and available. I took care of my sick mom and helped raise my siblings I know you can't always be available and I'd be understanding but I know not everyone has been in my situation and wouldn't have that understanding. I think I would also worry about the awkwardness. It's easier to get along with children in your own family but when it's other children it's kind of awkward and what if the kid doesn't like you. The mother could bad mouth you to the kid.
Oh god this again 🙄
Reply 6
Original post by Surnia
If you became a parent you'd understand the priorities.

Are you a parent?
This was such a random post but my sister is currently going through it. She’s been with a guy for couple years hasn’t met the kids as the man said not to confuse them and she’s fine with that too because she doesn’t want the pressure yet. I’m thinking is this not a red flag? But each to their own?
He looks after his kids but also she feels that she don’t have enough time with him. Such as she’ll end up seeing him every 2 weeks for couple months because he sees his kids for one of those weeks such as if it’s a bank holiday long weekend or summer holidays.

I’m not sure what advice to give her. She’s thinking twice about the relationship but I said he’s a good man and sees his kids.
Reply 7
Original post by Anonymous
As I woman I would be conflicted to date a man with kids. How crazy is his ex? Will she come first? And the worrying of starting your own family. If I did, I would want him to prioritise his kid(s) over me. Regards to how often to see him would be when we are both comfortable and available. I took care of my sick mom and helped raise my siblings I know you can't always be available and I'd be understanding but I know not everyone has been in my situation and wouldn't have that understanding. I think I would also worry about the awkwardness. It's easier to get along with children in your own family but when it's other children it's kind of awkward and what if the kid doesn't like you. The mother could bad mouth you to the kid.

Speaking from my sisters situation , she’s never met the ex she’s told me her bf and the ex have been broken up 8 years now and they have zero communication. He communities through family member or his oldest child with her. She hadn’t met the kids yet they’ve dated for couple years but she’s happy to not have met them yet and she isn’t ready and he doesn’t wanna confuse his kids he said. The children are teenagers and all boys. I don’t think the mother would be any problem in the relationship and she has zero communication with my sister bf.

How often? She sees him every weekend but some weekends he’s with his kids. She doesn’t know if this is normal seeing ur bf sometimes every 2 weeks? She’s confused but been in the relationship for couple years. The 1st year the kids was abroad the last 2 years they came back to the UK. He’s a good dad as he sees his kids but she doesn’t want to be a walk all over and doesn’t want to be blind to him not prioritising her. She doesn’t know if he’s prioritising her or not? and doesn’t want to be dumb to love. He seems like a good guy and father she just doesn’t want to be that girl sitting around waiting for him to be free
Reply 8
Original post by Anonymous
Are you a parent?
This was such a random post but my sister is currently going through it. She’s been with a guy for couple years hasn’t met the kids as the man said not to confuse them and she’s fine with that too because she doesn’t want the pressure yet. I’m thinking is this not a red flag? But each to their own?
He looks after his kids but also she feels that she don’t have enough time with him. Such as she’ll end up seeing him every 2 weeks for couple months because he sees his kids for one of those weeks such as if it’s a bank holiday long weekend or summer holidays.
I’m not sure what advice to give her. She’s thinking twice about the relationship but I said he’s a good man and sees his kids.

I'm a child of parents who got their priorities right.

Your sister made a choice to get involved with a man with children. If she's not mature enough to have thought of the consequences of that or to live with them now, or to suggest changes to the situation, she should leave him.
Reply 9
Original post by Surnia
I'm a child of parents who got their priorities right.
Your sister made a choice to get involved with a man with children. If she's not mature enough to have thought of the consequences of that or to live with them now, or to suggest changes to the situation, she should leave him.

I mean what are the consequences? Surely him being busy with his kids isn’t a consequence
Reply 10
Original post by Anonymous
I mean what are the consequences? Surely him being busy with his kids isn’t a consequence

Other way round; a consequence of him being busy with the children is that she doesn't live with him or see him very often.

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