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Can anyone help me with this gcse Q4 from paper 1 AQA English language paper?

what mark do you this this response is?

Q4:
This part of the story, where the men encounter the Tyrannosaurus Rex, shows Eckels is right to panic. The Monster is terrifying!’
To what extent do you agree?
In your response, you could:
consider your own impressions of Eckels’ reaction to the Tyrannosaurus Rex
evaluate how the writer describes the Monster
support your response with references to the text. [20 marks]


Answer:

Eckels shift of feelings from excited to a stunned reaction is evident from his acceptance of defeat, he claims “it can’t be killed”. This statement highlights just how powerless he feels, especially in light of having a mere “toy gun”, this simile effectively illustrates just how inferior the men are compared to the almost surreal “tyrant lizard”. Clearly Eccles has become panic struck. Thus, I agree strongly with the statement.

The writer successfully uses battalion jargon to build tension and heighten Eckels feelings of fear. The monster is built with “armoured flesh”, this repulsive and colossal creature is no contest for these men and they stand very little chance. The repetition of “flesh” in lines 41 and 44 emphasises the T-Rex savage nature of no mercy creating empathy from the reader towards Eccles disorientated state. This is further indicated by him trying to make his feet move, his “helplessness” heightens the tension and truly terrifying situation.

Finally, the paragraphs buildup has been escalated with frenzied adjectives like “terrible scream” and “lashed sideways”, these vivid descriptions leaves the reader in panic and disarray as we worry for the fate of Eccles and the other men. The juxtaposition of the “great level of the of the reptile tale” along with its “jewellerers hands”, creates an image of a huge beast with calculated and precise targeting with his dexterous hands. The fear is mirrored through their reflection of coming eye to eye with the monsters “boulder stone eyes” suggesting a near end experience. This indeed is deeply terrifying and creates an image of impossibility to escape, therefore panic is an absolute feeling from Eccles, as well as the reader.

The savage imagery and action packed final paragraphs intensifies the threat, the metaphor “screaming throat” emboldens the atmosphere with multisensory language to create an ominous and deadly end - we are witnessing deep panic and urgency; hence the statement is accurate
Reply 1
Hi, I got chatgpt to mark your answer for you :smile:) I think it was pretty good personally

This response demonstrates a good understanding of the text and effectively supports the argument that Eckels is right to panic when encountering the Tyrannosaurus Rex. The student provides specific references to the text and analyzes the writer's techniques, such as the use of simile, jargon, repetition, and vivid imagery, to convey the terror of the situation.
However, there are areas for improvement. The response could benefit from clearer organization and structure. It jumps between discussing Eckels' reaction, analyzing the writer's descriptions of the monster, and examining the buildup of tension, which can make it slightly disjointed. Additionally, there are some minor errors in spelling and grammar that could be addressed.
Overall, considering the depth of analysis and the effective use of textual evidence, this response could be awarded a high mark, perhaps in the range of 16-18 out of 20. With refinement in organization and language mechanics, it could potentially reach the full 20 marks.
Thank you very much. Do you think AI marking is accurate? I tried one out called tilf but it came me two different grades.

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