Do you think this is a genuine apology?

I apologised to him because I messed up, and after some time when I over shared a conversation where I spoke about him to another girl (he asked about it) about him having weird temper and getting angry over the initial incident, I apologised again because it seemed like I was being passive aggressive. He replied and said “it’s okay”. He then said “I’m sorry if I was rude if you felt that” following with asking me not to discuss him with others and how it’s not good and he doesn’t like it. Maybe I’m reading too much into it though? But I’m wondering if he meant his side of the apology or it was backhanded in some way. It was just worded in a strange way.

Reply 1

Old Skool Freak

20

It's always going to be difficult to tell from a text. When communicating in person, things like tone of voice and body language can make it far more obvious how things are expected to be taken.

I think the only thing you can really go on is the length of time it's taken for him to reply and the time in between the texts. Apart from that, you're probably the best person to determine whether it's a genuine apology or not as you know him and we don't (I'm assuming he's your boyfriend?)

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Old Skool Freak

It's always going to be difficult to tell from a text. When communicating in person, things like tone of voice and body language can make it far more obvious how things are expected to be taken.

I think the only thing you can really go on is the length of time it's taken for him to reply and the time in between the texts. Apart from that, you're probably the best person to determine whether it's a genuine apology or not as you know him and we don't (I'm assuming he's your boyfriend?)

He took an hour to respond to my initial apology about the first situation, and we had a short convo before he stopped responding because it sounded very backhanded when I basically told him what we said about him without realising it sounds bad (I guess nerves do that to you when you think ur talking to a crush) and then I apologised again and he responded after another hour. In the very last messages after he apologised and said he didn’t like me talking about him with others, I replied after a few mins and he replied after 10 mins or so. That was the very last message.

He’s not my boyfriend, we are familiar with each other but we don’t know each other very well. I’ve had a crush on him for a while now

Reply 3

Surnia

Life & Style Forum Helper

20

I thought you were meaning your apology! Why does the person who got angry with you for gossiping about them have to give a 'genuine apology'; weren't you in the wrong and they were justified in their reaction?

To say "if I was rude" and "if you felt that" means he realises you may have been upset, but it's not his responsibility if you feel like that because he isn't really guilty of anything.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Surnia

I thought you were meaning your apology! Why does the person who got angry with you for gossiping about them have to give a 'genuine apology'; weren't you in the wrong and they were justified in their reaction?

To say "if I was rude" and "if you felt that" means he realises you may have been upset, but it's not his responsibility if you feel like that because he isn't really guilty of anything.

Not really your place to question me on that when you don’t have the full details to know what actually happened. Looks like you’re just waiting to get triggered at something tbh. Thanks for the response though.

Reply 5

Zarek

21

The wording suggests a partial apology. He feels aggrieved by what you did, but following your apology is willing to admit he might have been rude. You’ve both apologised which is a good sign and you can move on

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

I think that the apology was partially genuine and user @Surnia was partly correct too, I think that if you're not in a relationship in the first place it wasn't really his fault regardless if it was genuine or not .
Whereas if you're for e.g. in the talking phase where your actively trying to get to know each other better it would be understandable for you to want an apology but otherwise I feel that you may be slightly overreacting, and I don't mean to disrespect or anything if this does come across as rude.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

I think that the apology was partially genuine and user @Surnia was partly correct too, I think that if you're not in a relationship in the first place it wasn't really his fault regardless if it was genuine or not .
Whereas if you're for e.g. in the talking phase where your actively trying to get to know each other better it would be understandable for you to want an apology but otherwise I feel that you may be slightly overreacting, and I don't mean to disrespect or anything if this does come across as rude.

It’s fine but you lot are forgetting I never asked for an apology from him. I’m simply thinking about his actions, the ones he chose to do himself. You lot are acting like I’m demanding some apology from him and I never did.

Also, guys he lied about me. So let’s not make assumptions about the situation, he wasn’t in the right either, he made mistakes too but it was nothing serious, it was just petty things but I understood why he did it because he was put in a awkward situation. The fact is you guys shouldn’t be making assumptions when I told you that you don’t know all the details because you literally don’t.

Reply 8

Surnia

Life & Style Forum Helper

20

Original post by Anonymous

It’s fine but you lot are forgetting I never asked for an apology from him. I’m simply thinking about his actions, the ones he chose to do himself. You lot are acting like I’m demanding some apology from him and I never did.
Also, guys he lied about me. So let’s not make assumptions about the situation, he wasn’t in the right either, he made mistakes too but it was nothing serious, it was just petty things but I understood why he did it because he was put in a awkward situation. The fact is you guys shouldn’t be making assumptions when I told you that you don’t know all the details because you literally don’t.

We are commenting on the situation you gave in the opening post, which is nothing to do with him lying. If it was a spontaneous response then that makes it better from him.

Do you think this is a genuine apology?

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