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Frenchay Campus, Bristol University of the West of England
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anymuslim females who are in the same position as me or just anyone! UWE bristol 2024

I've made a huge mistake i completely disregarded the fact that uwe Bristol don't give insurance holders a chance to apply to accommodations the same way firm holders do. now that I've seriously realised what ive done im paniking my course is radiography and im a muslim girl ( which for me in my household is a big deal, initially if i take a gap year im afraid my dad will fully take controll ans stop me from getting into university i have really strict parents and my school helped me out by convicing my mum only, my dad has no idea.) my firm choice is great but i dont think ill meet it realistically(inshallah i do) im seriously in tears maybe over reacting but the truth is this is all new to me and im on my own like literally no family to help its just me. can somone please tell me what to do
Original post by saf_iaa
I've made a huge mistake i completely disregarded the fact that uwe Bristol don't give insurance holders a chance to apply to accommodations the same way firm holders do. now that I've seriously realised what ive done im paniking my course is radiography and im a muslim girl ( which for me in my household is a big deal, initially if i take a gap year im afraid my dad will fully take controll ans stop me from getting into university i have really strict parents and my school helped me out by convicing my mum only, my dad has no idea.) my firm choice is great but i dont think ill meet it realistically(inshallah i do) im seriously in tears maybe over reacting but the truth is this is all new to me and im on my own like literally no family to help its just me. can somone please tell me what to do


Put your trust in Allah. If the accommodation route is blocked maybe Allah has something better planned for you than uni, or maybe you'll find a better uni. Try make sure you are praying all 5 prayers in the day and asking Allah for a solution. He will open up a door you didn't even know existed. At the end of the day, despite you maybe thinking your dad is being extreme, he has your best interest deep down so maybe have a conversation with him and see if he can help you in this situation. Wishing you good luck.
Frenchay Campus, Bristol University of the West of England
University of the West of England, Bristol
Bristol
Visit website
Original post by Hasnattttt
Put your trust in Allah. If the accommodation route is blocked maybe Allah has something better planned for you than uni, or maybe you'll find a better uni. Try make sure you are praying all 5 prayers in the day and asking Allah for a solution. He will open up a door you didn't even know existed. At the end of the day, despite you maybe thinking your dad is being extreme, he has your best interest deep down so maybe have a conversation with him and see if he can help you in this situation. Wishing you good luck.

thank you for the advice i really appreciate it!
ill just keep on praying inshallah so that everything will hopefully work out. i do wish i had a strong relationship with my dad but his thoughts are that my role initially to him is to stay as a housewife this whole university is just a delusion for me and will past time no matter what my intentions are. either way ill take your advice and make sure i keep asking Allah for a solution. thank you so much (seriously so much nicer talking to someone about this!)
Reply 3
Original post by saf_iaa
I've made a huge mistake i completely disregarded the fact that uwe Bristol don't give insurance holders a chance to apply to accommodations the same way firm holders do. now that I've seriously realised what ive done im paniking my course is radiography and im a muslim girl ( which for me in my household is a big deal, initially if i take a gap year im afraid my dad will fully take controll ans stop me from getting into university i have really strict parents and my school helped me out by convicing my mum only, my dad has no idea.) my firm choice is great but i dont think ill meet it realistically(inshallah i do) im seriously in tears maybe over reacting but the truth is this is all new to me and im on my own like literally no family to help its just me. can somone please tell me what to do
What is more concerning is that you did this behind your parents back, knowing that they would not approve of this. As a Muslim, may Allāh bless you, it is obligatory for you to obey your parents in whatever is not disobedience to Allāh. Your parents disapproving of you going to university is not harām, rather what your dad wants from you is much better, so you must not disobey him.

Allāh said (meaning): {And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be excellent to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: "My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young."} [al-Isrā’ 17:23-24]

The Prophet said (meaning): "The biggest of the great sins are: To join others in worship with Allah, to be undutiful to one's parents, and to give a false witness." [Sahīh al-Bukhārī 6919]
"Allah will defer whatever sins He wills until the Day of Rising except for tyrannical behaviour, disobeying parents or cutting off relatives. He will punish the one who commits those things in this world before he dies." [al-Adab al-Mufrad 591 - Sahīh]

Furthermore, if you are doing this planning to take a student loan, this is disobedience upon disobedience. This is because they contain interest, which comes under Riba. Allāh said about it (meaning):

{Those who consume interest cannot stand [on the Day of Resurrection] except as one stands who is being beaten by Satan into insanity. That is because they say, "Trade is [just] like interest." But Allāh has permitted trade and has forbidden interest. So whoever has received an admonition from his Lord and desists may have what is past, and his affair rests with Allāh. But whoever returns [to dealing in interest or usury] - those are the companions of the Fire; they will abide eternally therein.} [al-Baqarah 2:275]

{O you who have believed, fear Allāh and give up what remains [due to you] of interest, if you should be believers. And if you do not, then be informed of a war [against you] from Allāh and His Messenger. But if you repent, you may have your principal - [thus] you do no wrong, nor are you wronged.} [al-Baqarah 2:278-279]

Therefore, I would suggest that you listen to your parents as this would be better for you in both this world and the Hereafter. Know that there are so many Muslim girls dying to be in your position but their parents force them to go to university, so you are in an advantageous position.
Reply 4
Original post by i7v
What is more concerning is that you did this behind your parents back, knowing that they would not approve of this. As a Muslim, may Allāh bless you, it is obligatory for you to obey your parents in whatever is not disobedience to Allāh. Your parents disapproving of you going to university is not harām, rather what your dad wants from you is much better, so you must not disobey him.
Allāh said (meaning): {And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be excellent to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: "My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young."} [al-Isrā’ 17:23-24]
The Prophet said (meaning): "The biggest of the great sins are: To join others in worship with Allah, to be undutiful to one's parents, and to give a false witness." [Sahīh al-Bukhārī 6919]
"Allah will defer whatever sins He wills until the Day of Rising except for tyrannical behaviour, disobeying parents or cutting off relatives. He will punish the one who commits those things in this world before he dies." [al-Adab al-Mufrad 591 - Sahīh]
Furthermore, if you are doing this planning to take a student loan, this is disobedience upon disobedience. This is because they contain interest, which comes under Riba. Allāh said about it (meaning):
{Those who consume interest cannot stand [on the Day of Resurrection] except as one stands who is being beaten by Satan into insanity. That is because they say, "Trade is [just] like interest." But Allāh has permitted trade and has forbidden interest. So whoever has received an admonition from his Lord and desists may have what is past, and his affair rests with Allāh. But whoever returns [to dealing in interest or usury] - those are the companions of the Fire; they will abide eternally therein.} [al-Baqarah 2:275]
{O you who have believed, fear Allāh and give up what remains [due to you] of interest, if you should be believers. And if you do not, then be informed of a war [against you] from Allāh and His Messenger. But if you repent, you may have your principal - [thus] you do no wrong, nor are you wronged.} [al-Baqarah 2:278-279]
Therefore, I would suggest that you listen to your parents as this would be better for you in both this world and the Hereafter. Know that there are so many Muslim girls dying to be in your position but their parents force them to go to university, so you are in an advantageous position.

Biggest bogus ******** I ever read. You must be one of those patriarchal muslims who use and abuse the islam in order to satisfy their lowly desire of controlling and submitting women and disempowering them. The wife of the prophet was a business owner. She was a merchant. She was rich. And she was the boss of our prophet. And she was the one who proposed to him.

These Hadith about parents are about important situations. Especially while you are still a child. While you are still a minor and cannot protect yourself and do not understand the dangers of the world and the sinister ways that the world can lead you into sin. You need to listen and learn wisdom of your parents and trust they know more and respect how they protect you from that until you are fully grown, developed and ready to face the world as a fully matured adult yourself equipped with a strong heart and mind and the right perception to not fall for the calling of satan and his lackeys.

After you are an adult, your parents are your parents by blood, but they no longer are responsible for you. Now your souls destiny lies in your hands. Your iman and deen are yours to take responsibility over. No longer theirs. You are an adult. Man or women, it is the same. Your parents are now people you still respect and consult maybe, but you cannot hide behind them from life and let them control your life. That is what irresponsible adults do who cannot bear the burden of their life, so they still let their parents lead the path. Which is a huge burden for parents. If parents feel the need to control adult children, it is because you did not proof to them they can trust you to not commit sin and/or kill yourself or get killed. So they need to use their energy half for themselves and still half for you even though you are already grown and should not rely on them and allow them to finally live their life for themselves.

So that they can relax and do whatever they want for themselves and focus on their own lives fully. A huge part of which is their deen obviously. How can parents who worry about their adult kid relax and go to pilgrimage ? They won't be able to fully immerse themselves cause half their mind is occupied by their useless child.

So to the OG author, proof yourself to your parents. Do not commit sin, but do stand on your feet as an adult. Ask them to trust you. And give you the space so that you can proof yourself. Show them that you are trying to find the use for your existence in this planet. All of us promise god we will show him our love and devotion as humans so we can earn our place in his heaven.

And you do that only by actually living as a human. Become the best version of yourself and become useful. A useful human being who does something for gods earth and his creations. Something good. Something that will help and make a change. You do that by actually living the life you want to live. Actually LIVING the life god gave you. Especially because we do not know when he will take it. How long we have. That is why we must live in the present, as only Allah knows what happens in the future at all times. You must make the best of the present you have. By finding your joy, by loving and being loved and by helping. By learning how to make use of the gifts and potentials god uniquely bestowed upon you (i.e. the talents of marie curie in chemistry that helped the immense advancement of medicine and saved unimaginable amounts of lives ever since or the business acumen of our prophets first wife, who gave our prophet the job as a merchant that allowed him to travel and become a well known and loved human. A public reputation that helped him gather followers and spread the islam extremely fast.) Allah is a loving and merciful god who cherishes all of us. That is why he allowed us our wish to proof him our love, when iblis betrayed him. We did not have to, but we wanted to. And he allowed it. He created this magnificent earth for us full of wonders. He gave us language, science and intelligence to comprehend his magnificent creation and learn it. Use it to help each other (some godless ones use it to hurt each other as well obviously). So how do you want to use the gifts god gave you within and the ones he gave you without in order to show him your love?

Your parents are just humans as well. They have fears. They have pains. They have human beings(their kids) that they feel responsible for apart from the responsibility they bear over their own lives (and afterlives). Have compassion for them and think what they need so they can trust you and trust you will be okay and that they can let go of you a bit and that you will never betray them or the values they instilled upon you.

I talked a lot. But I hope this bit helped. I don't know how it will go. But if you need more help or need to talk, feel free to dm me!

Wish you all the best inshallah!💕
(edited 1 month ago)

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