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Macbeth kinship paragraph, starting with Act 1 Scene 2

If somebody could read this and give me critiques, I would appreciate it :smile:

Beginning with the extract, Shakespeare presents the theme of kinship through Macbeth’s conforming to society's patriarchal standards. After killing Macdonald, King Duncan describes Macbeth’s admirable brutality, saying, “with his brandished steel, Which smoked with bloody execution,”. This highlights Macbeth’s violence in war, and how he feels little remorse. The use of the savage metaphor, “smoked with bloody execution”, emphasises Macbeth’s ruthlessness, “smoked” suggesting he killed many at rapid speeds. It further suggests that Macbeth would be a tyrant king, due to his violent nature. It is apparent that this viciousness is a key part of Macbeth’s personality, since Shakespeare describes him with such traits before the reader even meets Macbeth. This readily illustrates a picture in the reader's mind, of his murderous and uncontrollable brutality. However, it can also suggest that Macbeth would make a good king, due to his willingness to kill and slaughter for his country. This reflects the idea that the stereotypical king is loyal to his nation, and that men in the Jacobean era have to be of a violent nature, proving their masculinity and gaining societal acceptance, receiving labels from peers, such as “brave”.
Original post by ayah.ahd
If somebody could read this and give me critiques, I would appreciate it :smile:
Beginning with the extract, Shakespeare presents the theme of kinship through Macbeth’s conforming to society's patriarchal standards. After killing Macdonald, King Duncan describes Macbeth’s admirable brutality, saying, “with his brandished steel, Which smoked with bloody execution,”. This highlights Macbeth’s violence in war, and how he feels little remorse. The use of the savage metaphor, “smoked with bloody execution”, emphasises Macbeth’s ruthlessness, “smoked” suggesting he killed many at rapid speeds. It further suggests that Macbeth would be a tyrant king, due to his violent nature. It is apparent that this viciousness is a key part of Macbeth’s personality, since Shakespeare describes him with such traits before the reader even meets Macbeth. This readily illustrates a picture in the reader's mind, of his murderous and uncontrollable brutality. However, it can also suggest that Macbeth would make a good king, due to his willingness to kill and slaughter for his country. This reflects the idea that the stereotypical king is loyal to his nation, and that men in the Jacobean era have to be of a violent nature, proving their masculinity and gaining societal acceptance, receiving labels from peers, such as “brave”.

So, firstly, for SPaG - kingship, but apart from that, all good. I'd say that the latter part of your response is better than the first - at the start, I think it is a little unclear as to why you are analysing what you are, so maybe explain a little before, and also the Captain said this, not Duncan, so be careful, so Level 3-4 here. Right ideas, though, but then... Lovely analysis of the quotation, with alternative interpretation and word level analysis (though I think it needs a little more word-level analysis), as well as accurate use of subject terminology, so definitely Level 6 here. Finally, context at the end is good and judiciously used, though a little more elaboration would be good, so Level 5 for context.

Overall, great A03, and brilliant A02, but just work on A01, and try to make it clearer, and maybe try interweaving some A02 and A03 into your points.

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