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Tips for my ACC essay?

idk if anyone will see this before tomorrow, but i just wrote a practice essay and was wondering if anyone could suggest improvements and possible marks i could get. my exam board is aqa btw

In his political diatribe, “A Christmas Carol”, Dickens portrays joy and happiness as lacking in the absence of compassion and kindness (proven through the construction of Scrooge), as exceeding monetary gain, and as a manifestation that can only be sought by each individual (representing Dicken’s aspirations for Victorian businessmen to change).

In the exposition, Scrooge’s lifestyle lacks joy and happiness (despite having a “comfortable” “set of rooms”) and is repeatedly described as “melancholy”, a quality that can only be linked to his miserly ways. For example, he callously responds to “portly” charity collectors “are there no prisons?” and “union workhouses?”. Dicken’s use of “prisons” implies his criticism of those who criminalise the poor as simply being lazy or “idle”. This perspective therefore leaves Scrooge devoid of any joy or happiness. Furthermore, Dickens introduces the motif of fire and brightness, stating that “darkness was cheap and Scrooge liked it”. His proves that not only is Scrooge unaffected by “external heat and cold”, but he is unwilling to change (and therefore unable to experience joy and happiness). This portrayal is juxtaposed with the “cheerful” demeanour of Fred, who is constructed as Scrooge’s antithetical foil. His compassion is evident as he believes that Christmas is a “kind, forgiving, pleasant, charitable time”, thus granting him with joy and happiness that is demonstrated as “he was all in a glow” and “his eyes sparkled”. Clearly, Dickens intends to encourage the aristocratic, upper-class readership to pursue more compassionate ideals in order to perhaps experience the desirable feelings of joy and happiness. This would, in turn, encourage employers to adopt a more caring outlook on their works (therefore improving the child labour and contemporary working class crisis of industrial London that Dickens greatly advocated against).

Dickens also includes Fezziwig’s party in order to strengthen his message to employers that joy and happiness are far more precious than the “master-passion”, “wealth”. This is evident as Scrooge, originally portrayed as the archetypal avaricious miser, states that “the happiness he gives is quite as great as if it cost a fortune”. He is interestingly challenging his own materialistic views about money, and realising that the gift of joy in fact exceeds “gain”; this presentation of joy and happiness leads to Scrooge’s second moment of regret in which he would like to say “a word or two” to Bob. Alternatively, considering Scrooge is a wealthy, upper-class businessman (similar to the target readership), he may simply view a “fortune” as “a few pounds of your mortal money”. The use of alliteration in “mortal money” proves this; clearly his avaricious ways are still present, and despite intending to “honour” the spirits’ “lessons”, he still intends to “profit” from them (a verb that suggests personal, monetary gain). Perhaps joy and happiness, despite their overwhelming influence, are not easily embedded within those who have been “hard and sharp” for so long; Dickens is highlighting the arduous journey required to transform into someone who can experience these emotions (thus reinforcing the value of joy and happiness and their value over wealth).

This depiction of joy and happiness is further reinforced as the Ghost of Christmas Present shows Scrooge the Cratchit household. Their joy is shown through their family values, and how they remain optimistic, especially “crippled” Tiny Tim who is “good as gold”. The use of guttural alliteration creates irony; “gold” is something the Cratchits are not wealthy in, and yet its value can be expressed through mere optimism of a “little, little child”. Furthermore, the Cratchits’ joy and happiness is demonstrated through the excessive asyndetic listing in describing their household, which demonstrates how they “put on a good show”, despite being “cheap”. Maybe Dickens includes this to emphasise to the wealthy aristocratic readers that money is not essential to be happy, and the poor exhibit nobility despite all hardships. On the other hand, this portrayal of joy and happiness is juxtaposed with the "wretched conditions” of other poor people that “reeked with crime, with filth, and misery”, which alternatively suggests that much of the poor are not actually as optimistic as the Cratchits. Dickens must have portrayed this darker side of poverty in order to expose the unseen conditions that many wealthy people had “never penetrated”. This utter lack in joy and happiness proves the urgency and help that the suffering and needy require, especially after the introduction of the Poor Laws which reduced the burden of poverty by simply neglecting the poor.

Dickens uses the portrayal of the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come as a “phantom” to teach the target readership that only they have the power to seek joy and happiness in their lives. This is highlighted with the lexical field of uncertainty in Stave 4, as the setting is “vague” and “uncertain”, depicting a future of “mystery”. Clearly the future is not predetermined, so any hopes of joy and happiness may indeed be snatched away and instead replaced with “chains” “wrought in steel”. Furthermore, while each preceding phantom communicated to Scrooge how he must change to manifest joy and happiness, the phantom “answered not”, bestowing all responsibility onto Scrooge. As a result, this may shock the reader; Dickens aims to evoke fear in the readership to express the vitality of them changing, and how if they do not redeem themselves, they will (as proven by Marley’s ghost), suffer in purgatory, unable to feel joy or happiness. The consequence of purgatory and the imagery of a “churchyard overrun by weeds” would especially influence the Christocentric readership (who were very religious).

In essence, Dickens portrays various manifestations of joy and happiness to inspire the aristocratic businessmen of Victorian London to reflect on their misanthropic ways, and instead change to “live to be another man” who is able to exhibit joy and happiness despite the “fog and frost” of the Industrial Revolution that constantly tempts them of a “golden idol” which truly has less value than happiness”.
Reply 1
i thought the most likely prediction was redemption
Reply 2
Original post by laylahhhhhh
idk if anyone will see this before tomorrow, but i just wrote a practice essay and was wondering if anyone could suggest improvements and possible marks i could get. my exam board is aqa btw
In his political diatribe, “A Christmas Carol”, Dickens portrays joy and happiness as lacking in the absence of compassion and kindness (proven through the construction of Scrooge), as exceeding monetary gain, and as a manifestation that can only be sought by each individual (representing Dicken’s aspirations for Victorian businessmen to change).
In the exposition, Scrooge’s lifestyle lacks joy and happiness (despite having a “comfortable” “set of rooms”) and is repeatedly described as “melancholy”, a quality that can only be linked to his miserly ways. For example, he callously responds to “portly” charity collectors “are there no prisons?” and “union workhouses?”. Dicken’s use of “prisons” implies his criticism of those who criminalise the poor as simply being lazy or “idle”. This perspective therefore leaves Scrooge devoid of any joy or happiness. Furthermore, Dickens introduces the motif of fire and brightness, stating that “darkness was cheap and Scrooge liked it”. His proves that not only is Scrooge unaffected by “external heat and cold”, but he is unwilling to change (and therefore unable to experience joy and happiness). This portrayal is juxtaposed with the “cheerful” demeanour of Fred, who is constructed as Scrooge’s antithetical foil. His compassion is evident as he believes that Christmas is a “kind, forgiving, pleasant, charitable time”, thus granting him with joy and happiness that is demonstrated as “he was all in a glow” and “his eyes sparkled”. Clearly, Dickens intends to encourage the aristocratic, upper-class readership to pursue more compassionate ideals in order to perhaps experience the desirable feelings of joy and happiness. This would, in turn, encourage employers to adopt a more caring outlook on their works (therefore improving the child labour and contemporary working class crisis of industrial London that Dickens greatly advocated against).
Dickens also includes Fezziwig’s party in order to strengthen his message to employers that joy and happiness are far more precious than the “master-passion”, “wealth”. This is evident as Scrooge, originally portrayed as the archetypal avaricious miser, states that “the happiness he gives is quite as great as if it cost a fortune”. He is interestingly challenging his own materialistic views about money, and realising that the gift of joy in fact exceeds “gain”; this presentation of joy and happiness leads to Scrooge’s second moment of regret in which he would like to say “a word or two” to Bob. Alternatively, considering Scrooge is a wealthy, upper-class businessman (similar to the target readership), he may simply view a “fortune” as “a few pounds of your mortal money”. The use of alliteration in “mortal money” proves this; clearly his avaricious ways are still present, and despite intending to “honour” the spirits’ “lessons”, he still intends to “profit” from them (a verb that suggests personal, monetary gain). Perhaps joy and happiness, despite their overwhelming influence, are not easily embedded within those who have been “hard and sharp” for so long; Dickens is highlighting the arduous journey required to transform into someone who can experience these emotions (thus reinforcing the value of joy and happiness and their value over wealth).
This depiction of joy and happiness is further reinforced as the Ghost of Christmas Present shows Scrooge the Cratchit household. Their joy is shown through their family values, and how they remain optimistic, especially “crippled” Tiny Tim who is “good as gold”. The use of guttural alliteration creates irony; “gold” is something the Cratchits are not wealthy in, and yet its value can be expressed through mere optimism of a “little, little child”. Furthermore, the Cratchits’ joy and happiness is demonstrated through the excessive asyndetic listing in describing their household, which demonstrates how they “put on a good show”, despite being “cheap”. Maybe Dickens includes this to emphasise to the wealthy aristocratic readers that money is not essential to be happy, and the poor exhibit nobility despite all hardships. On the other hand, this portrayal of joy and happiness is juxtaposed with the "wretched conditions” of other poor people that “reeked with crime, with filth, and misery”, which alternatively suggests that much of the poor are not actually as optimistic as the Cratchits. Dickens must have portrayed this darker side of poverty in order to expose the unseen conditions that many wealthy people had “never penetrated”. This utter lack in joy and happiness proves the urgency and help that the suffering and needy require, especially after the introduction of the Poor Laws which reduced the burden of poverty by simply neglecting the poor.
Dickens uses the portrayal of the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come as a “phantom” to teach the target readership that only they have the power to seek joy and happiness in their lives. This is highlighted with the lexical field of uncertainty in Stave 4, as the setting is “vague” and “uncertain”, depicting a future of “mystery”. Clearly the future is not predetermined, so any hopes of joy and happiness may indeed be snatched away and instead replaced with “chains” “wrought in steel”. Furthermore, while each preceding phantom communicated to Scrooge how he must change to manifest joy and happiness, the phantom “answered not”, bestowing all responsibility onto Scrooge. As a result, this may shock the reader; Dickens aims to evoke fear in the readership to express the vitality of them changing, and how if they do not redeem themselves, they will (as proven by Marley’s ghost), suffer in purgatory, unable to feel joy or happiness. The consequence of purgatory and the imagery of a “churchyard overrun by weeds” would especially influence the Christocentric readership (who were very religious).
In essence, Dickens portrays various manifestations of joy and happiness to inspire the aristocratic businessmen of Victorian London to reflect on their misanthropic ways, and instead change to “live to be another man” who is able to exhibit joy and happiness despite the “fog and frost” of the Industrial Revolution that constantly tempts them of a “golden idol” which truly has less value than happiness”.

Hi, firstly I want to wish you good luck in your exam tomorrow 🙂 I am not in Year 11 yet but I have already done ACC. I am also not an expert in essays and am trying to improve in writing them myself. Here are some general tips I can give you:
Try to talk about structural techniques as well
Make sure you name any techniques you talk about and include techniques (when they are relevant)
Try to link the context with your ideas
Take a quote and discuss two different meanings it can have (for example - solitary as an oyster -> can show that Scrooge is isolated and has a shell around him that shuts him out but it can also mean that he has a pearl inside him, foreshadowing his change later in the book or something like that??)
Also, make sure your paragraphs follow on, my teacher told us to show in a paragraph if Dickens 'reinforces' or 'challenges' what you talked about in the previous paragparh if that makes sense
Make sure your ideas are relevant to the question, they link together in some way and generally you don't include anything irrelevant

Like I said I'm really not an expert and these are some things that I believe examiners quite like so I'm sorry if I said something that's not right 🙂 good luck again
Original post by Salatalik
Hi, firstly I want to wish you good luck in your exam tomorrow 🙂 I am not in Year 11 yet but I have already done ACC. I am also not an expert in essays and am trying to improve in writing them myself. Here are some general tips I can give you:
Try to talk about structural techniques as well
Make sure you name any techniques you talk about and include techniques (when they are relevant)
Try to link the context with your ideas
Take a quote and discuss two different meanings it can have (for example - solitary as an oyster -> can show that Scrooge is isolated and has a shell around him that shuts him out but it can also mean that he has a pearl inside him, foreshadowing his change later in the book or something like that??)
Also, make sure your paragraphs follow on, my teacher told us to show in a paragraph if Dickens 'reinforces' or 'challenges' what you talked about in the previous paragparh if that makes sense
Make sure your ideas are relevant to the question, they link together in some way and generally you don't include anything irrelevant
Like I said I'm really not an expert and these are some things that I believe examiners quite like so I'm sorry if I said something that's not right 🙂 good luck again

thanks!
Original post by twixster
i thought the most likely prediction was redemption

oh idk i just did a past paper question

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