my bf isn't sexually attracted to me

I just want to rant so I can forget this and focus on my exams. If you have been in a similar position and can help, I would appreciate it. If not, that's also fine <3

My bf (23M) and I (22F) have been dating for almost 3 years now. When we started dating, I was a virgin and thought I was asexual (had someone kind of sexually manipulate me, it's super complicated).

We met on an online dating app when I wasn't expecting anything. I told him about my asexuality and asked if that would be a problem. He responded frankly, saying he would like to be with someone he can have sex with but would love to get to know me better. We went on a date and it was magical. I felt so connected and seen, by the end of the first date, I was clearly not asexual. I realised that I was demi-sexual but have had never really had anyone I connected with.

When we started dating, we had a really hard time with sex. It was very painful for me, sometimes so painful I would have panic attacks. We couldn't have penetrative sex for a while and that really frustrated him. Often times, when he tried to initiate, I would turn him down which made him feel dejected. He doesn't know this, but a lot of times, I would just pretend like I wanted it and help him finish. He spoke to me about how dejected he was feeling and we decided it's best for me to initiate when I'm ready.

This is the important bit, I recognised how this affects his mental health and body image so I actively worked to make him feel better. He is short and skinny, something he has been made fun of all his life. I would shower him with compliments, beg him for shirtless pictures and remind him that I prefer him for how he looks. I also worked on my sexual issues, visiting the GP, trying to ease myself into penetrative sex by practising on my own and making sure I initiate regularly (even when I didn't feel it) so he didn't feel frustrated.

A couple months into our relationship, things got better. We were able to have penetrative sex, something that made both of us feel incredibly close to each other. I loved having sex with him, it made me feel so loved and connected. Even though I never finished (and he never really tried. He'd ASK if I want him to go down on me, but I struggle with body dysmorphia and would say I feel insecure. At this point, he would just shrug and say okay and not eat me out) I knew it was important for our relationship and would consistently initiate. At this point, he had completely stopped initiating.