The Student Room Group

Struggling mentally during exam season

This is going to be really long so I don't mind if nobody reads it it would just be nice to get it off my chest I think.

This is the only place I really feel anonymous so it's the only place I feel comfortable sharing this haha. So for a bit of back story I've always been a massive perfectionist. Anything I ever did I always wanted to be the best, causing me to put crazy pressure on myself to be perfect at everything (the perfect student, perfect daughter, perfect friend etc) and then going to extremes just to punish myself if I didn't seem good enough for my own standards. And it didn't always help that whilst my mum had good intentions, she was kind of always physically and emotionally distant whenever it really mattered, and even though she's trying now and I truly am grateful, it doesn't change the fact that when I was younger and it mattered the most, it didn't feel like she was ever truly there for me in the way I needed her to.
I ended up spiralling really badly in Years 8-9, I had the worst mental health I'd ever had and I had nobody to turn to. In Year 10 however things started looking up and I felt myself growing in ways I never thought I ever would, even without real professional help. Even though I still had really bad days, I was having good days too, and life genuinely felt worth living.
Flash forward to the beginning of this year, Year 11, and I just threw myself into my studies, barely checking in on myself, falling back into my terrible perfectionist tendencies I'm starting to realise never actually left me. And now I'm in the final sprint and I feel so destroyed. I feel like I'm going back to how I used to be during my worst days. I'm angry all the time, I have horrible intrusive thoughts, I burst out crying practically every day without any real reason and yet my perfectionism and self-doubt stops me from reaching out for help because I just feel like I don't need it, or I don't deserve it, because if I didn't get it back then why would I ever deserve it now when I'm supposed to be "better"? I feel like every day I'm just going back to how I used to be, and I feel like giving up on my studies altogether, but then what's the point of me having struggled through Year 11 if I don't get good grades at the end of it? Teachers have reached out to me to check if I'm okay and given me counselling and stuff but they always end up cancelling it because I appear like I'm doing better, even though I've just learn to hide all my problems and wait until they get unbearable.
I'm pretty sure I have depression. I've thought that since I was like 10 years old but nobody ever took me seriously even though I had all of the symptoms and still do, and yet now it feels like it's too late and I just can't help but feel like everything I do is pointless, especially since with how hard I work I feel like I should be doing so much better than I actually am.
I guess I'd just like some advice? Even if somebody else just understands and relates to what I'm going through, or went through it and came out the other end, I'd just be happy to hear anything. I just feel so hopeless, like the only thing I've ever been good at is my studies and I can't even do that. And I'm supposedly struggling with my mental health but other people have it way worse than me I'm sure so I just feel so useless and worthless. I'm just really exhausted with everything going on right now, and I don't know who to turn to in my real life.
Original post by Anonymous
This is going to be really long so I don't mind if nobody reads it it would just be nice to get it off my chest I think.
This is the only place I really feel anonymous so it's the only place I feel comfortable sharing this haha. So for a bit of back story I've always been a massive perfectionist. Anything I ever did I always wanted to be the best, causing me to put crazy pressure on myself to be perfect at everything (the perfect student, perfect daughter, perfect friend etc) and then going to extremes just to punish myself if I didn't seem good enough for my own standards. And it didn't always help that whilst my mum had good intentions, she was kind of always physically and emotionally distant whenever it really mattered, and even though she's trying now and I truly am grateful, it doesn't change the fact that when I was younger and it mattered the most, it didn't feel like she was ever truly there for me in the way I needed her to.
I ended up spiralling really badly in Years 8-9, I had the worst mental health I'd ever had and I had nobody to turn to. In Year 10 however things started looking up and I felt myself growing in ways I never thought I ever would, even without real professional help. Even though I still had really bad days, I was having good days too, and life genuinely felt worth living.
Flash forward to the beginning of this year, Year 11, and I just threw myself into my studies, barely checking in on myself, falling back into my terrible perfectionist tendencies I'm starting to realise never actually left me. And now I'm in the final sprint and I feel so destroyed. I feel like I'm going back to how I used to be during my worst days. I'm angry all the time, I have horrible intrusive thoughts, I burst out crying practically every day without any real reason and yet my perfectionism and self-doubt stops me from reaching out for help because I just feel like I don't need it, or I don't deserve it, because if I didn't get it back then why would I ever deserve it now when I'm supposed to be "better"? I feel like every day I'm just going back to how I used to be, and I feel like giving up on my studies altogether, but then what's the point of me having struggled through Year 11 if I don't get good grades at the end of it? Teachers have reached out to me to check if I'm okay and given me counselling and stuff but they always end up cancelling it because I appear like I'm doing better, even though I've just learn to hide all my problems and wait until they get unbearable.
I'm pretty sure I have depression. I've thought that since I was like 10 years old but nobody ever took me seriously even though I had all of the symptoms and still do, and yet now it feels like it's too late and I just can't help but feel like everything I do is pointless, especially since with how hard I work I feel like I should be doing so much better than I actually am.
I guess I'd just like some advice? Even if somebody else just understands and relates to what I'm going through, or went through it and came out the other end, I'd just be happy to hear anything. I just feel so hopeless, like the only thing I've ever been good at is my studies and I can't even do that. And I'm supposedly struggling with my mental health but other people have it way worse than me I'm sure so I just feel so useless and worthless. I'm just really exhausted with everything going on right now, and I don't know who to turn to in my real life.

Take a deep breath and relax! It might be difficult to get your mind off the mindset of perfect pressure, but I can tell you that you can get rid of this pressure by taking things slow - you've got your whole life ahead of you.
Moreover, you're still in Year 11 - so take a fresh breath of air and relax. You still have plenty of time to continue studying - especially when you move into Year 12.

Stay happy and find joy in the little things! :smile:
I wish you all the beat and relax - you only have one life to make the most of it.
Original post by Anonymous
This is going to be really long so I don't mind if nobody reads it it would just be nice to get it off my chest I think.
This is the only place I really feel anonymous so it's the only place I feel comfortable sharing this haha. So for a bit of back story I've always been a massive perfectionist. Anything I ever did I always wanted to be the best, causing me to put crazy pressure on myself to be perfect at everything (the perfect student, perfect daughter, perfect friend etc) and then going to extremes just to punish myself if I didn't seem good enough for my own standards. And it didn't always help that whilst my mum had good intentions, she was kind of always physically and emotionally distant whenever it really mattered, and even though she's trying now and I truly am grateful, it doesn't change the fact that when I was younger and it mattered the most, it didn't feel like she was ever truly there for me in the way I needed her to.
I ended up spiralling really badly in Years 8-9, I had the worst mental health I'd ever had and I had nobody to turn to. In Year 10 however things started looking up and I felt myself growing in ways I never thought I ever would, even without real professional help. Even though I still had really bad days, I was having good days too, and life genuinely felt worth living.
Flash forward to the beginning of this year, Year 11, and I just threw myself into my studies, barely checking in on myself, falling back into my terrible perfectionist tendencies I'm starting to realise never actually left me. And now I'm in the final sprint and I feel so destroyed. I feel like I'm going back to how I used to be during my worst days. I'm angry all the time, I have horrible intrusive thoughts, I burst out crying practically every day without any real reason and yet my perfectionism and self-doubt stops me from reaching out for help because I just feel like I don't need it, or I don't deserve it, because if I didn't get it back then why would I ever deserve it now when I'm supposed to be "better"? I feel like every day I'm just going back to how I used to be, and I feel like giving up on my studies altogether, but then what's the point of me having struggled through Year 11 if I don't get good grades at the end of it? Teachers have reached out to me to check if I'm okay and given me counselling and stuff but they always end up cancelling it because I appear like I'm doing better, even though I've just learn to hide all my problems and wait until they get unbearable.
I'm pretty sure I have depression. I've thought that since I was like 10 years old but nobody ever took me seriously even though I had all of the symptoms and still do, and yet now it feels like it's too late and I just can't help but feel like everything I do is pointless, especially since with how hard I work I feel like I should be doing so much better than I actually am.
I guess I'd just like some advice? Even if somebody else just understands and relates to what I'm going through, or went through it and came out the other end, I'd just be happy to hear anything. I just feel so hopeless, like the only thing I've ever been good at is my studies and I can't even do that. And I'm supposedly struggling with my mental health but other people have it way worse than me I'm sure so I just feel so useless and worthless. I'm just really exhausted with everything going on right now, and I don't know who to turn to in my real life.

Hi there! Well done for reaching out!
I'm a year 13 studying history, psychology, and English lit, if you do any of these at GCSE then I'm perfectly ok with seeing if I have any stuff I can give you if our courses align in any way. I can also tell you that I know how you feel, as I was also struggling around this time in year 11.
What I learnt from that is that it gets better, that mental health is a roller coaster with its highs and its lows, and that I know you are strong and brave and able to overcome the challenges your facing. The first and arguably hardest step is reaching out, which you did brilliantly in your message. What really helps is practicing self care techniques, because everything (including revision) should be in moderation. It can be really good to take a walk in nature, take some time to do some drawing, calling a friend and see if they're free to meet up. If you live in the south east, I can recommend the charity irock- https://www.irocksussex.com/ -whom are here to listen to you however you feel. You can vent, I know you don't know me too well but feel free to message if you feel you need someone to talk to. I'm pretty open about myself if there's anything you wanted to ask privately about my own experiences and what advice I may have for you.
It does get better in the end, whatever steps you decide to take after GCSE's will feel like a fresh start of you doing what it is you want to focus on.
Perhaps my biggest regret from year 11 is feeling like my exams would define the rest of my life, only later do you realize this isn't the case at all. Exams won't tell you that you are a great friend, or a caring person. They won't tell you about everything you have achieved and had the strength to overcome. They are a number, and they don't define who you are.
You are strong, I'm proud of you for reaching out, take care of yourself and if you need anything let me know!
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous
This is going to be really long so I don't mind if nobody reads it it would just be nice to get it off my chest I think.
This is the only place I really feel anonymous so it's the only place I feel comfortable sharing this haha. So for a bit of back story I've always been a massive perfectionist. Anything I ever did I always wanted to be the best, causing me to put crazy pressure on myself to be perfect at everything (the perfect student, perfect daughter, perfect friend etc) and then going to extremes just to punish myself if I didn't seem good enough for my own standards. And it didn't always help that whilst my mum had good intentions, she was kind of always physically and emotionally distant whenever it really mattered, and even though she's trying now and I truly am grateful, it doesn't change the fact that when I was younger and it mattered the most, it didn't feel like she was ever truly there for me in the way I needed her to.
I ended up spiralling really badly in Years 8-9, I had the worst mental health I'd ever had and I had nobody to turn to. In Year 10 however things started looking up and I felt myself growing in ways I never thought I ever would, even without real professional help. Even though I still had really bad days, I was having good days too, and life genuinely felt worth living.
Flash forward to the beginning of this year, Year 11, and I just threw myself into my studies, barely checking in on myself, falling back into my terrible perfectionist tendencies I'm starting to realise never actually left me. And now I'm in the final sprint and I feel so destroyed. I feel like I'm going back to how I used to be during my worst days. I'm angry all the time, I have horrible intrusive thoughts, I burst out crying practically every day without any real reason and yet my perfectionism and self-doubt stops me from reaching out for help because I just feel like I don't need it, or I don't deserve it, because if I didn't get it back then why would I ever deserve it now when I'm supposed to be "better"? I feel like every day I'm just going back to how I used to be, and I feel like giving up on my studies altogether, but then what's the point of me having struggled through Year 11 if I don't get good grades at the end of it? Teachers have reached out to me to check if I'm okay and given me counselling and stuff but they always end up cancelling it because I appear like I'm doing better, even though I've just learn to hide all my problems and wait until they get unbearable.
I'm pretty sure I have depression. I've thought that since I was like 10 years old but nobody ever took me seriously even though I had all of the symptoms and still do, and yet now it feels like it's too late and I just can't help but feel like everything I do is pointless, especially since with how hard I work I feel like I should be doing so much better than I actually am.
I guess I'd just like some advice? Even if somebody else just understands and relates to what I'm going through, or went through it and came out the other end, I'd just be happy to hear anything. I just feel so hopeless, like the only thing I've ever been good at is my studies and I can't even do that. And I'm supposedly struggling with my mental health but other people have it way worse than me I'm sure so I just feel so useless and worthless. I'm just really exhausted with everything going on right now, and I don't know who to turn to in my real life.

There is a lot of support out there such as:

-The Samaritans, you can call 116 123, which is available 24 hours a day

-Mind, 0300 123 3393

-Saneline, 0300 304 7000, from 4.30pm-10.30pm

-The mix, 0800 808 4994, 11am-11pm

-SHOUT, text 852258, 24 hour text service

-Crises, 741741, text service

-Papyrus, 0800 068 4141, if you have thoughts of suicide or in emotional distress

-Rethink mental health, 0300 5000 927

-No Panic, 0800 138 8889

-Relate, they have a chat advisor

-Mental Health 24/7: 0800 008 6516

-hubofhope website, useful contact information for your local area

You can self refer yourself to talking therapies on the NHS website.

There is the mind forum

Also Facebook groups

You can join support groups

You can contact a crises team if things get very bad

Plenty of resources online, information regarding well being.
Original post by Anonymous
This is going to be really long so I don't mind if nobody reads it it would just be nice to get it off my chest I think.
This is the only place I really feel anonymous so it's the only place I feel comfortable sharing this haha. So for a bit of back story I've always been a massive perfectionist. Anything I ever did I always wanted to be the best, causing me to put crazy pressure on myself to be perfect at everything (the perfect student, perfect daughter, perfect friend etc) and then going to extremes just to punish myself if I didn't seem good enough for my own standards. And it didn't always help that whilst my mum had good intentions, she was kind of always physically and emotionally distant whenever it really mattered, and even though she's trying now and I truly am grateful, it doesn't change the fact that when I was younger and it mattered the most, it didn't feel like she was ever truly there for me in the way I needed her to.
I ended up spiralling really badly in Years 8-9, I had the worst mental health I'd ever had and I had nobody to turn to. In Year 10 however things started looking up and I felt myself growing in ways I never thought I ever would, even without real professional help. Even though I still had really bad days, I was having good days too, and life genuinely felt worth living.
Flash forward to the beginning of this year, Year 11, and I just threw myself into my studies, barely checking in on myself, falling back into my terrible perfectionist tendencies I'm starting to realise never actually left me. And now I'm in the final sprint and I feel so destroyed. I feel like I'm going back to how I used to be during my worst days. I'm angry all the time, I have horrible intrusive thoughts, I burst out crying practically every day without any real reason and yet my perfectionism and self-doubt stops me from reaching out for help because I just feel like I don't need it, or I don't deserve it, because if I didn't get it back then why would I ever deserve it now when I'm supposed to be "better"? I feel like every day I'm just going back to how I used to be, and I feel like giving up on my studies altogether, but then what's the point of me having struggled through Year 11 if I don't get good grades at the end of it? Teachers have reached out to me to check if I'm okay and given me counselling and stuff but they always end up cancelling it because I appear like I'm doing better, even though I've just learn to hide all my problems and wait until they get unbearable.
I'm pretty sure I have depression. I've thought that since I was like 10 years old but nobody ever took me seriously even though I had all of the symptoms and still do, and yet now it feels like it's too late and I just can't help but feel like everything I do is pointless, especially since with how hard I work I feel like I should be doing so much better than I actually am.
I guess I'd just like some advice? Even if somebody else just understands and relates to what I'm going through, or went through it and came out the other end, I'd just be happy to hear anything. I just feel so hopeless, like the only thing I've ever been good at is my studies and I can't even do that. And I'm supposedly struggling with my mental health but other people have it way worse than me I'm sure so I just feel so useless and worthless. I'm just really exhausted with everything going on right now, and I don't know who to turn to in my real life.

You're definitely not alone and definitely not worthless. One of the things that has really helped me to put less pressure on myself is to build confidence in other ways outside of the things you're focusing on right now. You sound like a very bright and studious person, so if there is room alongside your studies to find ways to build confidence and 'success' in other ways then give that some thought. Is now the time to try a hobby/sport/class you've been thinking about? If it's physical then even better - releasing more endorphins will always help. Also don't forget that success can be measured in other ways than just the results you're seeking. If you got through the day - that's success. If you spotted the beauty in nature today - that's success. Set small goals that are easy to achieve and build on the sense of achievement. I hear you re family support too. Invest in your friendships and connect with nature and things will get better. You got this.
Reply 5
Original post by asdgqewrgasdd
waa waa kys

smd
Original post by asdgqewrgasdd
waa waa kys

just don't say that, it takes a lot of courage for someone to reach out and don't think about trying to take that away from them here. What you said's not funny or cool but actually really harmful so just think about if before you comment next time
(edited 9 months ago)

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