The Student Room Group

How do I make friends when I don't go out?

Let's just say no one my age likes me because my personality stinks and this is my emotional dysregulation, I get bullied by younger people as well as people who are older because of my small size. I have had multiple friends who I just speak to online but have never seen in person but I did know them personally at one point in my life. The people who don't know me in my year group are the people who didn't bully me and may be on good terms with me but even then I probably saw them like 7/8 years ago and they may have forgotten me. I just wonder how I will make friends when I don't go out and I don't want to contact someone I know online at the same time because I fear that the friendship won't last
Original post by Anonymous
Let's just say no one my age likes me because my personality stinks and this is my emotional dysregulation, I get bullied by younger people as well as people who are older because of my small size. I have had multiple friends who I just speak to online but have never seen in person but I did know them personally at one point in my life. The people who don't know me in my year group are the people who didn't bully me and may be on good terms with me but even then I probably saw them like 7/8 years ago and they may have forgotten me. I just wonder how I will make friends when I don't go out and I don't want to contact someone I know online at the same time because I fear that the friendship won't last

You shouldn't have to change yourself so that people will become friends with you - you need to find someone who'd slowly accept the way you are and feel comfortable with you (goes both ways!)

Take things slow, you’re still young and will have many opportunities to make new friends throughout life. :smile:

Also, you'd never know if a friendship will ever last - make the most of your life and go out there (and be happy!)
Reply 2
Original post by jelllyfiiish
You shouldn't have to change yourself so that people will become friends with you - you need to find someone who'd slowly accept the way you are and feel comfortable with you (goes both ways!)
Take things slow, you’re still young and will have many opportunities to make new friends throughout life. :smile:
Also, you'd never know if a friendship will ever last - make the most of your life and go out there (and be happy!)
No one will accept me for me. No one will accept me being rude, negative, hypersensitive to provocative stimuli. My recent friend said she stopped being my friend because I was a negative friend to her all year, with me saying people jinxed me in studies and that's why I didn't make progress (as in I blamed her, I didn't. I blamed my other friend). I was quite judgemental of people before but now I am not and people have told me off for being judgemental before. I remember having good times with my most recent friend but she clearly doesn't remember that. I fear making friends because we always fall out, nothing lasts.
Original post by Anonymous
No one will accept me for me. No one will accept me being rude, negative, hypersensitive to provocative stimuli. My recent friend said she stopped being my friend because I was a negative friend to her all year, with me saying people jinxed me in studies and that's why I didn't make progress (as in I blamed her, I didn't. I blamed my other friend). I was quite judgemental of people before but now I am not and people have told me off for being judgemental before. I remember having good times with my most recent friend but she clearly doesn't remember that. I fear making friends because we always fall out, nothing lasts.

I get what you mean - friends aren’t meant to last forever (as things change from time to time).
But making friends for a period of time will help you progress throughout that period - and when your times up, everyone will also change at the same time and find new friends.

Yet there’s always some friends who stick by your side from time to time - however it’s rare as you would need to find a perfect fit to tolerate you and them both ways.

Don’t fear about making friends because of the concept of falling out! Falling out is part of change and is meant to happen; it’s all about acceptance.
Original post by Anonymous
No one will accept me for me. No one will accept me being rude, negative, hypersensitive to provocative stimuli. My recent friend said she stopped being my friend because I was a negative friend to her all year, with me saying people jinxed me in studies and that's why I didn't make progress (as in I blamed her, I didn't. I blamed my other friend). I was quite judgemental of people before but now I am not and people have told me off for being judgemental before. I remember having good times with my most recent friend but she clearly doesn't remember that. I fear making friends because we always fall out, nothing lasts.


By the sounds of it, you know what you need to try and change (being rude and negative). Tbh you’ll find it hard to find a friend who will stick by you if you are being rude and sadly it’s a bit unrealistic for you to expect people to be around you if you stay like that.

There’s a way you can be truthful without being judgemental and a way to be a bit pessimistic without being negative. It takes honesty, practice and sympathy.

I’m saying this as someone who has been on both ends (being the negative/rude friend and being friends with a negative/ rude person). I tried being there for that friend but inevitably we ended up falling out because I couldn’t keep being around her. As in, as much as I cared for her, I couldn’t handle the negativity and rudeness.

It was a wake up call for me though because it allowed me to see what I could potentially be like to the people I was friends with, which led me to change.

Now, I actually enjoy being positive and I have been able to make friends really easily. I like people more now and have a peaceful life and amazing friends.

I know the situations are slightly different, but if your goal is to have friends, quite honestly, you’ll have to change.

It’ll take effort on your end and no, you weren’t born that way and you’re not stuck. Hence why I said it’s unrealistic for you to expect anyone to stick around with you still being that way. It’s because you’re able to change if you want to.

I hope this helps x
Original post by Anonymous
By the sounds of it, you know what you need to try and change (being rude and negative). Tbh you’ll find it hard to find a friend who will stick by you if you are being rude and sadly it’s a bit unrealistic for you to expect people to be around you if you stay like that.
There’s a way you can be truthful without being judgemental and a way to be a bit pessimistic without being negative. It takes honesty, practice and sympathy.
I’m saying this as someone who has been on both ends (being the negative/rude friend and being friends with a negative/ rude person). I tried being there for that friend but inevitably we ended up falling out because I couldn’t keep being around her. As in, as much as I cared for her, I couldn’t handle the negativity and rudeness.
It was a wake up call for me though because it allowed me to see what I could potentially be like to the people I was friends with, which led me to change.
Now, I actually enjoy being positive and I have been able to make friends really easily. I like people more now and have a peaceful life and amazing friends.
I know the situations are slightly different, but if your goal is to have friends, quite honestly, you’ll have to change.
It’ll take effort on your end and no, you weren’t born that way and you’re not stuck. Hence why I said it’s unrealistic for you to expect anyone to stick around with you still being that way. It’s because you’re able to change if you want to.
I hope this helps x


I’ve had a similar experience. I had a good friend who I very much cared for but she was pushy, and I’m kinda a “disconnected” person, as in I don’t like to stick to one person my entire life. She was also very sensitive when I didn’t wanna spend time with her, but I wanted to spend time with others/by myself. She didn’t understand so we went our separate ways. That to me was a turning point, I realised what friends I wanted to have and how to be a better person myself!!
Original post by mayarpapayar
I’ve had a similar experience. I had a good friend who I very much cared for but she was pushy, and I’m kinda a “disconnected” person, as in I don’t like to stick to one person my entire life. She was also very sensitive when I didn’t wanna spend time with her, but I wanted to spend time with others/by myself. She didn’t understand so we went our separate ways. That to me was a turning point, I realised what friends I wanted to have and how to be a better person myself!!


My friend was like that too. It felt like couldn’t have any other close friends. Sadly, this occurred around the time I was also being the negative friend, so it was just negativity all the way around.

After a while, I started to value positivity and just being nice to people. When I started to change, she started to be rude to me. It was a real eye opener, but it made me want to change and also made me think about the kind of friends I want around me.

I’d say the experience helped us to grow as individuals, but I do hope it helped them in some way too… As for you, I can see it helped you understand the kind of people you want around you and inspired you to become a better person. I’m glad you got something positive out of the experience, despite the obvious challenges that occurred!
Original post by jelllyfiiish
You shouldn't have to change yourself so that people will become friends with you - you need to find someone who'd slowly accept the way you are and feel comfortable with you (goes both ways!)
Take things slow, you’re still young and will have many opportunities to make new friends throughout life. :smile:
Also, you'd never know if a friendship will ever last - make the most of your life and go out there (and be happy!)


Sorry if this comes off as rude but if you are losing friends and if your personality is bad then wouldn’t there be a correlation??
Obviously there is room to change, but if someone is all round negative, then people tend to back away.
I’m aware people can have bad moods or be at their lowest, but if you’re seen as negative for the entire time someone’s known you, then it’s hard to keep up.
I agree tho, take things slow because time will give way to new possible friends

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