Is it a bad idea to get into a relationship at university?

Is it a good or a bad idea to get into a relationship at university?
On one hand, you are moving to a city so there will be more people and a lot of students your age. There are more social events. There are plenty of clubs and societies so you are likely to find your sort of people that have similar interests. Also, you're not yet tied down to a full time job, so potentially have more time for socialising.
However, I was wondering what happens when you graduate? You likely went to university because you wanted a particular career, so when you graduate you may move for work, and your dream job might be at the other side of the country from your partner's new job. What happens then?
What are everyone's thoughts on this?

Reply 1

Zarek

If you want a relationship and the opportunity comes up I would go for it. It may not last the course, and if it does you can decide what to do when job hunting time comes. Some people do meet a long term partner uni.

Reply 2

Happybeescience

I met my partner In my second year of Uni, we graduated and moved back to our home cities but we have been going long distance for nearly a year now and we will be continuing to do so until late next year. If the opportunity arises I agree with Zarek you should go for it, many people are able to make a relationship work even if its long distance. If you really love each other you will make it work, or you will amicably beside that your careers are currently the priority and break up, that's not necessarily a bad thing.

Reply 3

MJ1148

Original post by lilacfern

I don't think you should cut yourself off from opportunities with people by going in with a fixed mindset of "I will avoid getting into a relationship." If you meet the right person, it just sort of happens anyway. It also depends on what kind of person you are. Personally, I have never dated casually at university. My boyfriend who I met in first year and I were together for two years and my current boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half. I never planned it that way, but that's how it turned out.

That being said, building friendships and focusing on your studies should always be the priority. Especially if you are a woman, sadly it is easy to fall into the trap of prioritising your boyfriend and neglecting friendships (I don't think this is inherent to being a woman, but we are socialised to behave this way a lot of the time). I had always been wary of this and never even realised that I was doing it, but as soon as I broke up with my boyfriend (and moved abroad), I started valuing making and maintaining friendships more and was much happier overall.

I also don't think relationships are something you should take ultra-seriously at a young age. Yes, it's not a bad idea to get into a monogamous long-term relationship at university, but if you're no longer having fun and it's causing more grief than anything else, you shouldn't force yourself to stay. A surprisingly large proportion of people meet their romantic partners and even their future spouses while studying at university. However, if you don't, there is a whole world outside of university, so don't stress too much about it either way.

Regarding long-distance after graduation, personally my boyfriend and I have been long-distance for about eight months now. I'm about to graduate and he wants to move to London, but I don't yet know whether this will be feasible for him. But even if we were to break up in the future, I would still be glad that we met and wouldn't have changed anything. You can't cut yourself off from the possibility of relationships with people, or indeed any opportunity in life, out of fear of what might happen. If nothing else, it teaches you a lot about what you might want from a future partner or how you can be a better partner yourself. No relationship is a waste of time.

(edited 1 year ago)

Reply 4

Smack

University is usually a great opportunity to get into a relationship because you are surrounded by people of your own age in a highly social environment, so people are naturally going to pair up. Graduation can be somewhat tricky for couples who have to move far way for work and become long-distance. This doesn't always work. But lots of relationships end anyway - particularly at typical uni age. And although it's less common these days - young are reaching milestones later, for various reasons - some people do still meet their life partner at university.