The Student Room Group

I like my teacher

I like my teacher who's married. I'm in year 13 and I've had a new teacher begin at my school for my final term of year 13. I really like his character and I would love to get to know him better. I find I get on better with him rather than guys my age or people my age in general. I understand that he is married and is in a committed relationship however I don't think that should prevent me from getting to know someone whom I've clicked with. By the way I am 18 and he is in his very early 30s.
What are the laws/ rules on teachers and ex students communicating once they leave the school? Is there an official document online or something which I can follow up and read? We've agreed to send each other emails once I leave the school but I am wondering how we would stay in contact if he ever left the school/ lost access to his school email. I am also wondering if it would be inappropriate to meet with him at events or places outside of school. For example we were discussing groups/clubs, organisations and restaurants which we both have a common interest in.
Reply 1
How would you feel if an 18yo girl was wanting to meet your 30yo husband at events and for meals in restaurants?

Why has he agreed to keep in touch with you; what would the content of his emails be, as it doesn't sound as though you have a genuine reason for emailing him after leaving school, such as wanting uni or careers advice? You are making it personal so yes, it's inappropriate.

Don't do anything beyond being a model student and leave this whim behind you when you finish school.
You should try to find people your age you get along with, after school people grow up a bit and you might find it easier. It would be seen as inappropriate to pursue such a relationship and would hurt you a lot. He's your teacher, not your friend. In reality if you did meet up after school it would be creepy on his part and you should protect yourself. Find people at your stage in life to explore the world with.
From a safeguarding perspective, it would not be ok for him to stay in personal contact with you or intentionally meet up with you after you leave the school. I'd say it's best to focus on making some new relationships/friendships :yy:
Original post by Anonymous
I like my teacher who's married. I'm in year 13 and I've had a new teacher begin at my school for my final term of year 13. I really like his character and I would love to get to know him better. I find I get on better with him rather than guys my age or people my age in general. I understand that he is married and is in a committed relationship however I don't think that should prevent me from getting to know someone whom I've clicked with. By the way I am 18 and he is in his very early 30s.
What are the laws/ rules on teachers and ex students communicating once they leave the school? Is there an official document online or something which I can follow up and read? We've agreed to send each other emails once I leave the school but I am wondering how we would stay in contact if he ever left the school/ lost access to his school email. I am also wondering if it would be inappropriate to meet with him at events or places outside of school. For example we were discussing groups/clubs, organisations and restaurants which we both have a common interest in.

Personally I think if it’s a professional relationship there’s nothing wrong my mom is a teacher and will frequently meet former students for coffee. It’s just important to note that these are only former students, and that you should obviously maintain a professional distance; as long as you’re aware of the teacher-student dynamic then I see no issue
nah what 💀
Reply 6
Bump
Reply 7
Original post by Surnia
How would you feel if an 18yo girl was wanting to meet your 30yo husband at events and for meals in restaurants?
Why has he agreed to keep in touch with you; what would the content of his emails be, as it doesn't sound as though you have a genuine reason for emailing him after leaving school, such as wanting uni or careers advice? You are making it personal so yes, it's inappropriate.
Don't do anything beyond being a model student and leave this whim behind you when you finish school.
We are just hoping to stay in touch and possibly to talk about common interests in the subject he taught me. Actually I have applied to do teaching at university in the same subject that he teaches me so I was hoping he could give me some advice on that too! I understand ur point about me meeting up with another woman's husband but I don't see how out relationship would be 'inappropriate' especially if neither of us engaged in anything sexual/romantic
Gang this **** wild 😭🙏
Reply 9
Original post by PileaP
From a safeguarding perspective, it would not be ok for him to stay in personal contact with you or intentionally meet up with you after you leave the school. I'd say it's best to focus on making some new relationships/friendships :yy:

please can you provide me any government guidelines or documents so I can read up about this in more detail. I think this situation is hard because there's a blurred line between personal and professional relationships. I tried to ask him if we could connect and message on LinkedIn however he said he does not have an account so Inagreed we should email instead
Reply 10
Original post by Anonymous
Gang this **** wild 😭🙏

Please don't swear on my thread. Thanks
Reply 11
Original post by Anonymous
We are just hoping to stay in touch and possibly to talk about common interests in the subject he taught me. Actually I have applied to do teaching at university in the same subject that he teaches me so I was hoping he could give me some advice on that too! I understand ur point about me meeting up with another woman's husband but I don't see how out relationship would be 'inappropriate' especially if neither of us engaged in anything sexual/romantic

Common interests in the subject he taught - but you're discussing clubs and restaurants and want to meet him outside school and at events, such as what?
There is a point in the teachers standards (government guidance) that states: "Teachers uphold public trust in the profession and maintain high standards of ethics and behaviour, within and outside school, by: ...at all times observing proper boundaries appropriate to a teacher’s professional position." This isn't explicit, it could be good to also have a look at your particular schools policies, but generally I'd say it would be considered inappropriate.
Original post by Anonymous
I like my teacher who's married. I'm in year 13 and I've had a new teacher begin at my school for my final term of year 13. I really like his character and I would love to get to know him better. I find I get on better with him rather than guys my age or people my age in general. I understand that he is married and is in a committed relationship however I don't think that should prevent me from getting to know someone whom I've clicked with. By the way I am 18 and he is in his very early 30s.
What are the laws/ rules on teachers and ex students communicating once they leave the school? Is there an official document online or something which I can follow up and read? We've agreed to send each other emails once I leave the school but I am wondering how we would stay in contact if he ever left the school/ lost access to his school email. I am also wondering if it would be inappropriate to meet with him at events or places outside of school. For example we were discussing groups/clubs, organisations and restaurants which we both have a common interest in.
I’m planning on staying in contact with my favourite teacher via email, just regularly updating him on how I’m finding uni and my course. I really will miss him as a teacher because of how passionate he was about his subject. . He’s encouraged me to come visit my sixth form when I’m back in my home town to say hi to the department. I personally think this type of contact is fine because it’s professional whilst also keeping in contact with people who have really cared about you. I would never step beyond this boundary and ask to meet up with him privately though unless I became a teacher myself or worked at my sixth form as that would be inappropriate . But I would deffo recommend emailing them about any life uodates because I’m sure they’d appreciate that!

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