Lack of friends?

I’m 21 I have 2 friends from school I’m in regular contact with and a few from uni/ sixth form I speak to a few times a year.

I don’t go out much atm as I’m in-between changing uni courses and live back in my hometown. I get on with my work colleagues but wouldn’t call them friends e.g. I don’t see them outside of work but I have their socials and message/ react to posts.

When at my last uni I went out more regularly but not every week. I’m not a social butterfly but find I grow on ppl after they know me for a while- I’m quite a cold and shy person when I first meet new people. I felt lonely at uni bc I was far away from family.

Would it seem like I lack friends? If I lived closer to my friends I’d see them more, I’ve moved around/ friends live in different places for uni. I wouldn’t say I’ve been “dropped” by old friends but they definitely don’t seem worried about seeing me, feels like I care more than they do etc.

Idk what’s normal for my age? I know my friends have felt lonely before and gone through phases of no social lives when I spoke to them about my current situation.

I just feel lost atm and like I don’t have my people

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

I lived through this myself. I haven't gone to uni yet but due to moving around I completely relate to what you say. I wouldn't say you lack friends and I wouldn't worry about it. Friends come and go. Usually, you grow apart after a while of not seeing each other precisely because they don't really care about you anymore and they will not reciprocate when you manifest interest into keeping in touch. You just need to grow out of it and understand they contributed to your life experiences and it's okay to not be close friends with them anymore (something I really struggled to do, mainly because my bestie was also my cousin) and this is made difficult because finding people you can actually trust is kinda rare. You can't force new friends in your life they will come to you when the moment is right and you will look back on the times you worried about it and laugh it off. Everything happens for a reason, take advantage of this time to focus on yourself. Your people will come to you when the moment is right. Trust life's timings. A nice alternative to fighting the loneliness is having online friends or like people you can vent off to online you don't feel so lonely + spending time with family (if on good terms), and try and build a better relationship with yourself (I really like Tam Kaur for that: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CP3Kt2d6WmQ)
But trust me what you feel rn is completely normal and not having friends when you are in a transitory period in your life is nothing to worry about.