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what should i do about my friends/life?? all fake names

Recently for the past month or so, many of my friends have left or started hanging out with another friend group, therefore leaving me with friends Nathan and Robert. I don't mind them but since I am not popular, I get weird looks from people when I'm sitting alone with them, and Nathan makes me feel uncomfortable by sitting too close with me and Robert is too noisy and loud. Today, one of my friends decided to hang out with the other friend group at break, and even though they Ashlyn is one of my closest friends, maybe even my best friend, this breaks my heart because it feels like everyone is leaving me, and I'm not sure what to do. Earlier last month, Georgia left to go hang out with the same friend group that Ashlyn has presumably gone to, and she validates that by saying that 'it's ok because hangs out with me in the mornings anyways', but I feel like it's not ok because we are not close anymore. In particular, one of her friends in the other friend group, let's call her Sadie, claims that she is 'best friends' with Georgia, and they have become super close. I am NOT at all possessive of her or anything, but I feel like the connection between me and Georgia has become weaker (as friends) and hers with Sadie has grown majorly. A couple weeks or so after that, another friend of mine, James, left the group to hang out with the SAME GROUP that my other two friends have left my friendship group for. I don't particularly mind him leaving as he was rude anyways, but Georgia and Ashlyn are my CLOSEST friends, and my life feels like it's falling apart anyways with me failing miserably in school (due to my memory loss) and my insecurities have been getting me to a lot recently so my mental health is not the best, and my friends leaving me just makes me feel like i'm not worth their time, or anyone's in fact, anymore. And due to my self consciousness, I have been comparing myself to other people way more than I usually did, and therefore becoming EVEN MORE self conscious. I started makeup as a way to make myself 'look better' but now it feels like I'm doing to make myself not look ugly, rather than me trying to embrace my facial features. Because of the low self love that I have for myself, I watch videos on youtube to make up for the life I cannot have: being rich, having perfect skin, looking naturally beautiful, etc. I used to watch netflix in a way to distract myself from the reality of my bad grades, therefore making them worse, and after that I just generally stopped caring about school. I'm trying to study more, but I am very picky when it comes to surroundings, so it's really hard for me to study when i'm NOT in my room. It just feels like everything is going downhill, but once I get a new table for studying in 2 months, I hope that I can make an improvement and make myself have a better mindset. For now, I will try to use online websites that also include tutoring, as well as getting a journal and start calligraphy. Hopefully I will be able to cope with that until my new table arrives and get better in general :smile:
I'll be going away for the summer holidays though!! That's one thing to look forward to i guess :smile:)
(edited 1 month ago)
Reply 1
Original post by amiaesthetic
Recently for the past month or so, many of my friends have left or started hanging out with another friend group, therefore leaving me with friends Nathan and Robert. I don't mind them but since I am not popular, I get weird looks from people when I'm sitting alone with them, and Nathan makes me feel uncomfortable by sitting too close with me and Robert is too noisy and loud. Today, one of my friends decided to hang out with the other friend group at break, and even though they Ashlyn is one of my closest friends, maybe even my best friend, this breaks my heart because it feels like everyone is leaving me, and I'm not sure what to do. Earlier last month, Georgia left to go hang out with the same friend group that Ashlyn has presumably gone to, and she validates that by saying that 'it's ok because hangs out with me in the mornings anyways', but I feel like it's not ok because we are not close anymore. In particular, one of her friends in the other friend group, let's call her Sadie, claims that she is 'best friends' with Georgia, and they have become super close. I am NOT at all possessive of her or anything, but I feel like the connection between me and Georgia has become weaker (as friends) and hers with Sadie has grown majorly. A couple weeks or so after that, another friend of mine, James, left the group to hang out with the SAME GROUP that my other two friends have left my friendship group for. I don't particularly mind him leaving as he was rude anyways, but Georgia and Ashlyn are my CLOSEST friends, and my life feels like it's falling apart anyways with me failing miserably in school (due to my memory loss) and my insecurities have been getting me to a lot recently so my mental health is not the best, and my friends leaving me just makes me feel like i'm not worth their time, or anyone's in fact, anymore. And due to my self consciousness, I have been comparing myself to other people way more than I usually did, and therefore becoming EVEN MORE self conscious. I started makeup as a way to make myself 'look better' but now it feels like I'm doing to make myself not look ugly, rather than me trying to embrace my facial features. Because of the low self love that I have for myself, I watch videos on youtube to make up for the life I cannot have: being rich, having perfect skin, looking naturally beautiful, etc. I used to watch netflix in a way to distract myself from the reality of my bad grades, therefore making them worse, and after that I just generally stopped caring about school. I'm trying to study more, but I am very picky when it comes to surroundings, so it's really hard for me to study when i'm NOT in my room. I've done some terrible things to myself when I was at my worst, but I am trying not to harm myself, as I now know that it doesn't change anything for the better. It just feels like everything is going downhill, but once I get a new table for studying in 2 months, I hope that I can make an improvement and make myself have a better mindset. For now, I will try to use online websites that also include tutoring, as well as getting a journal and start calligraphy. Hopefully I will be able to cope with that until my new table arrives and get better in general :smile:
I'll be going away for the summer holidays though!! That's one thing to look forward to i guess :smile:)

Woah that's a lot going on. As for the friends part, have you considered trying to make friends with Sadie ? I did this in a similar situation, amd it worked well. You don't need to be really close with Sadie, just tolerate her and try to get her to get on with you too so that you can hang out with that other group and stay close to Georgia.
In my situation, also with false names, I really wanted to be friends with Lacy and Penny, who are twins, Lacy in particular. We had so much in common, we got on really well, and I felt so comfortable around her. Penny was really nice too, and the pair of twins never split up. Ever. However, I could never get to hang out with just the 2 of them, as they would always flock to a couple other girls, Myla and Claire. So I tried to make friends with them so the twins wouldn't have to choose between us. Myla turned out to be really nice and we got on really well and she really liked me - this was my ticket I to the group. Claire and I didn't mind each other, although we were polar opposites and I secretly found her a bit annoying, but she didn't mind me and I didn't mind her. When high school finished, me and the twins (Lacy and Penny) all went on to the same sixth form, while Myla and Claire both went to a different college in the next town along. I have grown closer to the twins, which is great. I really liked Myla, so we stayed in touch. Me and Claire never had to hang out again, although we actually do wave to each other occasionally when we pass at the bus station. Worked out well.
Original post by lilacfern
Woah that's a lot going on. As for the friends part, have you considered trying to make friends with Sadie ? I did this in a similar situation, amd it worked well. You don't need to be really close with Sadie, just tolerate her and try to get her to get on with you too so that you can hang out with that other group and stay close to Georgia.
In my situation, also with false names, I really wanted to be friends with Lacy and Penny, who are twins, Lacy in particular. We had so much in common, we got on really well, and I felt so comfortable around her. Penny was really nice too, and the pair of twins never split up. Ever. However, I could never get to hang out with just the 2 of them, as they would always flock to a couple other girls, Myla and Claire. So I tried to make friends with them so the twins wouldn't have to choose between us. Myla turned out to be really nice and we got on really well and she really liked me - this was my ticket I to the group. Claire and I didn't mind each other, although we were polar opposites and I secretly found her a bit annoying, but she didn't mind me and I didn't mind her. When high school finished, me and the twins (Lacy and Penny) all went on to the same sixth form, while Myla and Claire both went to a different college in the next town along. I have grown closer to the twins, which is great. I really liked Myla, so we stayed in touch. Me and Claire never had to hang out again, although we actually do wave to each other occasionally when we pass at the bus station. Worked out well.

Ok, I'll try that 🙂 thanks for the tips!! Glad to know that everything with your friend/s went well!! I'll try and be friendly with Sadie, although I'm not sure if we'll ever be friends, and I don't know what to feel about leaving my current friend group, but i'll try to deal with it!! I don't have too much of school left anyways as I'm not planning on doing sixth form in my current school anyways. My 'best' friend Ashlyn has come back to the friend group now, so I'm guessing it was a one off thing, and Georgia is hanging out with us sometimes so I guess that's good 🙂 I do agree with you about trying to join the friend group, although I'm not quite familiar with everyone in it. But, I do think you're on the right track as I feel like it's time for me to make new friends, as I don't think it's particularly working. Hopefully when I'm older, I'll be able to find a certain someone or a group of friends who will be perfect for me :biggrin: thanks again!
(edited 1 month ago)
Original post by amiaesthetic
Ok, I'll try that 🙂 thanks for the tips!! Glad to know that everything with your friend/s went well!! I'll try and be friendly with Sadie, although I'm not sure if we'll ever be friends, and I don't know what to feel about leaving my current friend group, but i'll try to deal with it!! I don't have too much of school left anyways as I'm not planning on doing sixth form in my current school anyways. My 'best' friend Ashlyn has come back to the friend group now, so I'm guessing it was a one off thing, and Georgia is hanging out with us sometimes so I guess that's good 🙂 I do agree with you about trying to join the friend group, although I'm not quite familiar with everyone in it. But, I do think you're on the right track as I feel like it's time for me to make new friends, as I don't think it's particularly working. Hopefully when I'm older, I'll be able to find a certain someone or a group of friends who will be perfect for me :biggrin: thanks again!

Glad things are going well for you! Good luck with your future! 🙂

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