The Student Room Group

Scared of going to uni and letting go of my home

Hi, I’m currently struggling with the idea of uni. I’ve always had it drilled in my head that it’s better to get uni over and done with so that you have a degree. I am about to move across the country to study a musical theatre course but I am getting too overwhelmed with the stress, I don’t like to admit it but the stress is getting unbearable, I can’t focus on everyday tasks.

The idea of having to move far away and have to start adulthood terrifies me (I understand that this may sound bad as I know everyone has to go through it in life) I’m still not too sure about the course I’m doing as I know it’s something I enjoy but It won’t give me a stable career in the future.

I have been thinking about a gap year but I’ve heard so many negatives and don’t want to end up lonely and regretting that I didn’t go to uni straight away. During my gap year I would have the plan to change my part time job into full time and test if the career I’m going into is really what I want by gaining experience in the field.

Any advice?
Original post by Random1795
Hi, I’m currently struggling with the idea of uni. I’ve always had it drilled in my head that it’s better to get uni over and done with so that you have a degree. I am about to move across the country to study a musical theatre course but I am getting too overwhelmed with the stress, I don’t like to admit it but the stress is getting unbearable, I can’t focus on everyday tasks.
The idea of having to move far away and have to start adulthood terrifies me (I understand that this may sound bad as I know everyone has to go through it in life) I’m still not too sure about the course I’m doing as I know it’s something I enjoy but It won’t give me a stable career in the future.
I have been thinking about a gap year but I’ve heard so many negatives and don’t want to end up lonely and regretting that I didn’t go to uni straight away. During my gap year I would have the plan to change my part time job into full time and test if the career I’m going into is really what I want by gaining experience in the field.
Any advice?

Hi there,

Moving to uni can be overwhelming and can feel really scary so I understand how you feel.

I ended up having two gap years and this was the best decision for me! I worked in these years and also did a college course which I found great and it really helped me to decide that I did want to go to uni and what I wanted to do. I also found that even though I did the course at college, it was only part time so I had a break from full time education which made me more ready to start studying at uni as I was so burnt out from my A levels I don't think I would have done as well if I had gone straight away to uni! My friends all went to uni but I visited them and they cam back home fairly often so I still saw them and I didn't feel too lonely. I also made friends at college and work!

I think having a gap year sounds like a good idea, especially if you can get a full time job in the career you are thinking of going into as this will give you an opportunity to try it out and see if you enjoy it. It will also give you time to think about whether the course you are planing on doing is right for you and if it isn't you will have the time to see if you want to apply for a different course or go down a different path to university!

If you are worried about being older when you join uni, don't worry about this! I was 20 when I started uni and I found that loads of people had had at least one gap year so I wasn't much older than most people which is something I was worried about before I went so don't worry about this or let this affect your decision.

If you feeling really stressed and overwhelmed, I think it's worth waiting to go to uni as if you feel this way when you are there, you won't do as well as you could do. In your gap year, it's worth getting some help for the stress you are feeling and then start uni with a clearer mind.

I hope some of this helps,

Lucy -SHU student ambassador.
Original post by Random1795
Hi, I’m currently struggling with the idea of uni. I’ve always had it drilled in my head that it’s better to get uni over and done with so that you have a degree. I am about to move across the country to study a musical theatre course but I am getting too overwhelmed with the stress, I don’t like to admit it but the stress is getting unbearable, I can’t focus on everyday tasks.
The idea of having to move far away and have to start adulthood terrifies me (I understand that this may sound bad as I know everyone has to go through it in life) I’m still not too sure about the course I’m doing as I know it’s something I enjoy but It won’t give me a stable career in the future.
I have been thinking about a gap year but I’ve heard so many negatives and don’t want to end up lonely and regretting that I didn’t go to uni straight away. During my gap year I would have the plan to change my part time job into full time and test if the career I’m going into is really what I want by gaining experience in the field.
Any advice?

Hi,
I'm sorry to hear this is really stressing you out. Firstly, I want to say there is no set path for everyone, if moving to university is causing you so much stress perhaps a gap year would be best for you, so that you have the opportunity to consider your options further. Gap years can be lonely but if it is the best thing for you in the long run then it may be worth it. You always have the option to visit friends at university, this may even give you a better insight into university life before you go.
It is totally normal to feel stressed or worried about moving to university, this is a huge life change and everyone feels this in different ways. In my experience, when I arrived at university I felt less stressed and more excited about the opportunities ahead. Remember you can always spend a weekend at home if you are struggling, but I am sure you will settle in especially as you say your course is something you enjoy!

I hope this helps! Faye 🙂
Original post by Random1795
Hi, I’m currently struggling with the idea of uni. I’ve always had it drilled in my head that it’s better to get uni over and done with so that you have a degree. I am about to move across the country to study a musical theatre course but I am getting too overwhelmed with the stress, I don’t like to admit it but the stress is getting unbearable, I can’t focus on everyday tasks.
The idea of having to move far away and have to start adulthood terrifies me (I understand that this may sound bad as I know everyone has to go through it in life) I’m still not too sure about the course I’m doing as I know it’s something I enjoy but It won’t give me a stable career in the future.
I have been thinking about a gap year but I’ve heard so many negatives and don’t want to end up lonely and regretting that I didn’t go to uni straight away. During my gap year I would have the plan to change my part time job into full time and test if the career I’m going into is really what I want by gaining experience in the field.
Any advice?

@Random1795

Most people are never really prepared for change, but that doesn’t mean that change is a bad thing it just takes time to adjust.

What do your family and friends think?

Is there a university closer to home that you could go to?

All the best,

Oluwatosin 3rd year student University of Huddersfield
Reply 4
Original post by University of Huddersfield
@Random1795
Most people are never really prepared for change, but that doesn’t mean that change is a bad thing it just takes time to adjust.
What do your family and friends think?
Is there a university closer to home that you could go to?
All the best,
Oluwatosin 3rd year student University of Huddersfield

Thank you for taking time to reply to me! I do have an option really close to me that actually have offered me a place for free!!! This has been a huge relief for me but the only issue is that I don’t know if I will get the same opportunities as I would in London
Hi Random1795,

Moving away is sometimes overwhelming, and I’ll admit - I felt the exact same way. I am very much a homebody and it was daunting. If you don’t decide to take your gap year, I’d say definitely bring some home comforts and contact with your loved ones as often as you feel the need to, as it really helped me cope with leaving home and entering uni. I didn’t like being away from home and thrust into adulthood initially, but I found that once I’d settled into Exeter and gained some friends, I felt so much better. I went home semi-regularly which also helped me a lot. I would say it’s something that you have to stick with, and many people will feel the same! But it’s okay, and it gets better.

If you do decide to take a gap year, that’s also a good idea! Especially if you’re looking into gaining more experience in your field, or are working. It’s nice to have that stability when starting uni. Many of my friends did the same and I wouldn’t say it’s put them at a disadvantage. I know they felt far more ready to start uni after their gap year, and many of them have gained fantastic work experience. But the bottom line from me is that it can be a very daunting time, but it does get better.

All the best,

Jen,

University of Exeter student ambassador
It’s scary but remember everyone is in the same boat as you! I’m not sure if you’re from the countryside or your whereabouts but I was set on going to uni in London, but I visited and it was too overwhelming for me so I settled for Bath. I don’t know if you have already viewed but I would strongly suggest viewing the universities you have options of before firming, and getting a feel of what life there could be like. This may ease your head a bit more if you went and loved the atmosphere, or if you hated it, it would make you never think of those ‘what if’ questions about going to uni in London if you settled on your local university before looking.
Original post by Random1795
Hi, I’m currently struggling with the idea of uni. I’ve always had it drilled in my head that it’s better to get uni over and done with so that you have a degree. I am about to move across the country to study a musical theatre course but I am getting too overwhelmed with the stress, I don’t like to admit it but the stress is getting unbearable, I can’t focus on everyday tasks.
The idea of having to move far away and have to start adulthood terrifies me (I understand that this may sound bad as I know everyone has to go through it in life) I’m still not too sure about the course I’m doing as I know it’s something I enjoy but It won’t give me a stable career in the future.
I have been thinking about a gap year but I’ve heard so many negatives and don’t want to end up lonely and regretting that I didn’t go to uni straight away. During my gap year I would have the plan to change my part time job into full time and test if the career I’m going into is really what I want by gaining experience in the field.
Any advice?

Hi! Firstly, I totally relate to what you're feeling. I felt like everyone else seemed to know what they wanted to do, except me.

I took a gap year because a really good opportunity came my way, and it gave me the year to decide and have more confidence in what I wanted to do.

Uni is great fun and I loved doing a course I was passionate about, but I knew that because I took a gap year and I wanted to be around young people again and study! It also helped me to know which uni was right for me, as I spent a good few weekends visiting friends who were at uni, and I realised a big city like London wasn't for me, for example.

Perhaps gaining more experience in the field you like and earning a little money for if you are going to go to uni is for you!
Hey,

First off, I really think the advice above is great, starting a new experience can be nerve wracking and specially when you don’t know if that’s the right move.

I really think you should go for it, if you don’t like how things are going, you can always withdraw/ defer from the course and take the gap year anyways, but I think it’s helpful that you have options that are closer to home. It doesn’t mean that if your university isn’t in London, you won’t get a great experience.

Finally, universities have a lot of support available and if you’re ever feeling anxious, they would be very helpful.

All the best,
Haya
Hey there,

I totally get where you're coming from. The idea of diving into university life and leaving the comfort of home can feel pretty daunting. It's okay to feel a bit scared change is always a bit nerve-wracking.

Just know that everyone’s journey is unique. While a degree can be important, it’s equally crucial to follow your passions and chase what truly matters to you in the long run.

Taking a gap year? Totally understandable. Personally, I believe it can be an amazing chance to soak up life experiences, and figure out your career path. However, it’s important to weigh the pros and cons and make the decision that feels right for you.


Best,
Hiba
RAUL Student Ambassador

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