The Student Room Group

Should I move out?

I am currently a first year student at university. Things at home are actually quite good, except I barely have any freedom to go out to experience 'The Uni Life' and I have very strict parents. I can't always study at home as it is quite distracting. If I move out it will be further away from uni, but not by much. I can financially support myself for the remaining 2 years, but I fear that if I move out I will not be welcomed back and I don't know what to do when I graduate as my maintenence loan will mostly pay the rent.

Could someone please give me advice?
Anon,

Perhaps you could explain to your parents that though you love being at home you would like to be able to go to the library and stay late without them worrying about what time you might get back, that you’d like to be able to return to your accommodation in between lectures without having to wait around for hours and that you’d like the opportunity to make more friends by being able to stay for more societies and events. Perhaps, you could explain that you would like to see what it’s like to live away from home for a year but that you’d like the option of moving back home for third year.

They might need time to think about it or not be happy, but at least you would have asked and explained some of your reasons. They might surprise you and be supportive, recognising that you are a young adult and need to get out more, make friends and make more of the opportunities available at university.

You might go straight into a job after university or end up travelling (you never know!) but as long as you make it clear that you are not saying that you never want to live at home again and they are able to accept you moving out (even if they are still a bit unhappy about it) then you should hopefully be able to go back home after uni you will always be their son/daughter!

All the best,

Oluwatosin 3rd year student University of Huddersfield
Reply 2
Original post by University of Huddersfield
Anon,
Perhaps you could explain to your parents that though you love being at home you would like to be able to go to the library and stay late without them worrying about what time you might get back, that you’d like to be able to return to your accommodation in between lectures without having to wait around for hours and that you’d like the opportunity to make more friends by being able to stay for more societies and events. Perhaps, you could explain that you would like to see what it’s like to live away from home for a year but that you’d like the option of moving back home for third year.
They might need time to think about it or not be happy, but at least you would have asked and explained some of your reasons. They might surprise you and be supportive, recognising that you are a young adult and need to get out more, make friends and make more of the opportunities available at university.
You might go straight into a job after university or end up travelling (you never know!) but as long as you make it clear that you are not saying that you never want to live at home again and they are able to accept you moving out (even if they are still a bit unhappy about it) then you should hopefully be able to go back home after uni you will always be their son/daughter!
All the best,
Oluwatosin 3rd year student University of Huddersfield

Thank you for your reply,

I think I'm clearer with what I need to do now and I'm defo moving out :smile:
They will initially be annoyed but with time, they'll get over it. I think I will be ok. Thanks :smile:
Should you graduate and not immediately find a job, you may be entitled to claim Universal Credit and a sum towards your housing costs in a shared property.

Unfortunately these sums are very low (scarcely subsistence level) but may tide you over until you get better paying work.
Original post by Anonymous
I am currently a first year student at university. Things at home are actually quite good, except I barely have any freedom to go out to experience 'The Uni Life' and I have very strict parents. I can't always study at home as it is quite distracting. If I move out it will be further away from uni, but not by much. I can financially support myself for the remaining 2 years, but I fear that if I move out I will not be welcomed back and I don't know what to do when I graduate as my maintenence loan will mostly pay the rent.
Could someone please give me advice?

Hi there,

If you're worried about being welcomed back, consider having a frank conversation with your parents about your needs and concerns. They might be more understanding than you expect.

As for post-graduation, it's common to feel uncertain. Many students face this. Remember that circumstances change and there might be opportunities you can't foresee right now.

Lastly, you could seek advice from your university's student services. They often have resources and counselors who can provide guidance.

Remember, it's your university experience and ultimately, the decision is yours.

Take care,
Ilya :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
I am currently a first year student at university. Things at home are actually quite good, except I barely have any freedom to go out to experience 'The Uni Life' and I have very strict parents. I can't always study at home as it is quite distracting. If I move out it will be further away from uni, but not by much. I can financially support myself for the remaining 2 years, but I fear that if I move out I will not be welcomed back and I don't know what to do when I graduate as my maintenence loan will mostly pay the rent.
Could someone please give me advice?

Hi there,

I think the best thing to do in this situation would be to sit down with your parents and have a chat with them and tell them how you are feeling. Give them the chance to say how they feel too and maybe you can all come to a solution together so they don't feel as though you are just leaving them or going behind their back.

It sounds like it would be a good opportunity for you to go and live elsewhere so that you can have more freedom and experience more of the university lifestyle. It's a great opportunity to be at uni and it is really fun having the freedom that you potentially haven't had before to do things that you want to do!

Try not to worry too much about after uni, if you talk to them and you come to a decision together, I'm sure they will get used to the idea over time and will not hold it against you. Ultimately you have to do what is best for you and I am sure they will come to understand this.

I hope this helps,

Lucy -SHU student ambassador.
Original post by Anonymous
I am currently a first year student at university. Things at home are actually quite good, except I barely have any freedom to go out to experience 'The Uni Life' and I have very strict parents. I can't always study at home as it is quite distracting. If I move out it will be further away from uni, but not by much. I can financially support myself for the remaining 2 years, but I fear that if I move out I will not be welcomed back and I don't know what to do when I graduate as my maintenence loan will mostly pay the rent.
Could someone please give me advice?

Hi there,
I would definitely advise having an open and honest conversation with your parents, if your main concern is being welcomed back, Explain your reasons for moving out, show how much you've researched your options and answer any questions that they might have.

You could go straight into employment after university or travel but if you plan on returning home or think it is an option (I did!) then I would say this when having the conversation with your parents.

Hope this helps!

-Nicky

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