Gonna miss my crush😔

I’ve had a giant crush on this girl in my class for almost 9 months now and y13 is ending so I don’t think we’ll ever see each other again 😔 (except for the odd few days we come in to sit exams)
But it’s just so depressing, she was the only reason I even had the energy to come into school this whole year and I’ll never be able to thank her😭😭 we’ve been at the same school since year 7.. so I’ve known her for 7 years now but I only properly noticed her existence in September 2023. It’s my biggest regret because I wish we could’ve been friends all these years or something. This crush just feels like a waste of emotions if that even makes sense
Yesterday we were signing shirts and saying goodbye to teachers/ the year group and she approached me to sign my shirt. Ofc I said yes and she wrote a big paragraph about how she’ll miss me and how I made our lessons these past two years more interesting. I almost melted into the grass🙈 (we didn’t have any lessons together during secondary school but share an a level subject)
But then when it was my turn to write on her shirt my mind went blank bc I’d been imagining this day and moment for MONTHS. In the end I wrote ‘best of luck’ BUT TWICE IN A ROW. THATS SO EMBARRASSING 😭😭😭 I did point it out to her and she laughed and said it’s alright but I wish I could’ve returned the energy with a paragraph too😔
anyway I’m rambling now but Ik for a fact I’m not the only person with a secret crush miserable about the year ending💀