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handling breakup

I broke up with my boyfriend of 9 months yesterday and I am beyond hurt. I still love him and emotionally want to be with him, but logically knew it had to happen because of social incompatibility and because we'd have to do long distance in a couple of months, which we're both too anxious for.I feel so empty and like there’s no point to anything. The only person I want to talk to this about is him, I want to cry in his arms and tell him exactly how much this destroys me and how much I love him. I miss him. I wish things were different. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop loving him. Everywhere I go it feels like I’m walking through a frozen world of memories, everything reminds me of him, and I miss it all. I miss the way he'd say hi, and his goofy smile, and his dances when he was excited. He was not only my boyfriend, but my best friend, and I really can't go on without him.I'm really worried about him because he's not very satisfied with his life outside of our relationship, and I hate myself for hurting him, and I hate that I can't be the one there to make him feel better. I want so badly to text him but I don't want to postpone our hurt or play with his emotions, but I need him to know how much I truly have and always will love him.I'm trying to go through the motions, but I can't stop crying, I went for a walk with my mom, I went for a run, I took a shower, I made plans with my best friend, but I just hate everything and want to go back to him. How do I heal? How do I live with the pain of never having him as my boyfriend again? How do I live with hurting him, knowing how much love he deserves and how little he thinks of himself, even through he's truly the most caring, wonderful human being? Do I try to fix things, at least for until we have to go long distance?

Reply 1

Original post by Anonymous
I broke up with my boyfriend of 9 months yesterday and I am beyond hurt. I still love him and emotionally want to be with him, but logically knew it had to happen because of social incompatibility and because we'd have to do long distance in a couple of months, which we're both too anxious for.I feel so empty and like there’s no point to anything. The only person I want to talk to this about is him, I want to cry in his arms and tell him exactly how much this destroys me and how much I love him. I miss him. I wish things were different. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop loving him. Everywhere I go it feels like I’m walking through a frozen world of memories, everything reminds me of him, and I miss it all. I miss the way he'd say hi, and his goofy smile, and his dances when he was excited. He was not only my boyfriend, but my best friend, and I really can't go on without him.I'm really worried about him because he's not very satisfied with his life outside of our relationship, and I hate myself for hurting him, and I hate that I can't be the one there to make him feel better. I want so badly to text him but I don't want to postpone our hurt or play with his emotions, but I need him to know how much I truly have and always will love him.I'm trying to go through the motions, but I can't stop crying, I went for a walk with my mom, I went for a run, I took a shower, I made plans with my best friend, but I just hate everything and want to go back to him. How do I heal? How do I live with the pain of never having him as my boyfriend again? How do I live with hurting him, knowing how much love he deserves and how little he thinks of himself, even through he's truly the most caring, wonderful human being? Do I try to fix things, at least for until we have to go long distance?

I am going to be blunt:

1.

If you want to be with him, don't split up. You don't know what the future email holds, so stop trying to second guess things.

2.

If you think you're socially incompatible and then you don't want to be with him, it's done. You did it. Move on.

3.

Wanting to talk to him about how much you love him and how cut up you are for dumping him is selfish and self indulgent.

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