Gf money problems

So he parents making her pay for the car in my eye's regardless of over price this is them trying to force her to look for a job to pay for things without telling her to do it they obviously see that, She need the money and don't want to coddle her with having to pay for everythink hence her having to pay rent, eventually she will click and she will do exactly what she needs to but it's really down to you to work out how long you can wait for this to happen because it could be years before this clicks and by that time she will have debt she will keep from you becuase she will believe in her mind your always going to suport here and help, and thats strictly not true 100% of the time, your not married so you have no obligation to financially support her. as for you feeling there not supporting her they are supprting her therer trying to make he grow up and support her self which i am sure your parents did to you but at an earlier age which they didn't do til it was to late as,
As for talking to her about this, my suggestion is you don't just let this go because it a year or 6 month time this will make thing 10x worse on both of you and by that point it really will be to late, you really need to have a serious conversation about this together and try together to listen if not then horrible as this may sound, right now is not the time for you to be together in life, but thats truly your choice, but she really does need to learn she need a part time job to survive just like you,

So I’ve been with my GF for 3 years. We’re both uni students.

We both get the minimum student loan (£4000) and I get 8k per year off grandparents for uni expenses so I am fine for money. However she gets £100 off her Dad per month and nothing from her mum and step dad. I am fine for money and have an alright amount in savings however she is really struggling. She doesn’t get a higher loan because her step dad is so rich, and the student loan website says parents should be making up this difference.

The last few summers we have spent most our money on travel, and have plans to travel again this summer and she is worried about not having enough. I have worked enough to ensure I have but she hasnt.

The last 2 years we agreed to pay half the rent each for our room in a shared house, however I have not had anything off her this year and a tiny amount last year, which I got on with because I care about her and don’t want to take money she doesn’t have.

Recently her mum and step dad have started charging her rent for every night she stays in their house. They also sold an old car they owned for what I think is massively over what it was worth. It needed repairs and lots of body work that they paid for upfront but she now has to pay them back.

I got her a summer job at a place I’ve worked for years in the summer, but I feel I put in more effort to get extra shifts in compared to her, who often has to do this or that on the weekends.

Whenever I try talk to her about financial planning she just gets annoyed and says she has it worked out in her head but it always just goes to sh*t.

I’ve pretty much let her off thousands and thousands over the past couple of years in rent which has obviously left me with less. I am starting to get quite annoyed at the situation and the fact that her RICH step dad is pretty much leaching her for all her money for car payments rent etc, when me, a poor student is not asking for anything.

It’s getting to the point where I’m getting really stressed about it because I feel that I’m the only supportive person she has. Like I’m the only one that will lend her money if she has nothing.. money I don’t know if or when I’ll get back. It just feels ridiculous and a joke that I am having to support her when she has a mum and dad both with high enough household incomes for her to only get the lowest student loan.

Please help with any suggestions you can.

I don’t know what to suggest?? She could get a credit card but I don’t want her getting in debt. I always say you need to be more realistic with your parents about your finances but she gets annoyed. OR I could just lend her money that I may never get back.

Absolutely Anything you may have to add is much appreciated .

Ps. I’d just like to make clear she’s not the kind of person to leech of someone else, she’s a really great and nice person and she’s in the position she is because her family refuses to help her out, so please take this into account in your comments.

Can’t offer too much advice… as really it’s down to your GF to have a frank discussion with her parents - mum/step dad - could she show them some evidence of University costs? A couple of Universities have put together approx costs per year - and I think it’s Save The Student website also has lots on this. If they are unprepared to support her can she speak with student finance to see if she can adjust the loan amount she gets ? She could also speak to the Uni about any additional help they could provide. She absolutely needs to be proactive on the above. I feel so sorry for her and can’t believe parents can be like this - but I also feel sorry for you as you shouldn’t be shouldering all this responsibility yet either. What a lovely kind person you are to have assisted like you have so far.

When are you both due to graduate. IE when will you both be moving out of student digs and when will she be financially independent?

Thanks for that. I think it’s just more that they are tight arses and didn’t agree with her going to uni. She had a full time job for a couple years before going to uni and I think meeting me encouraged her to go to uni as well which I feel guilty about. She has had part time jobs through the year but the timings of when she got them were bad. She had a seasonal job over Xmas and got another one a couple months ago but has left that as she’s gone back home for summer, so anything she has earned has just kept her going and not allowed anything to be put away. The costs of living are so so high and it’s just so expensive to eat a healthy meal compared to a £1 frozen pizza and this has drained her. It’s just the whole system that is ******* her over here and it’s so unfair that a student from a poorer background can afford to live but she cannot. I do get what you mean about the rent, I’m moving back in with parents after this year (finished uni) and I’m going to be paying some rent, but I just think it’s a joke they are charging her £7 a day to be at home, when her step dad kids who finished uni last year didn’t have to pay anything to be at home while they were at uni. Thanks for your comments though, I’ve taken them onboard.

ahh see that open more light i wasn 't aware she would work, then i take it back some of what i said. that sounds more like stepdad care's about his own kids more then supporting another mans child and because with no disrespect he probably supports her mum doesn't feel he should have support her kids as well, which i am sorry to say is the down fall of being a step child that almost always happens unless you have a diamond guy of stepdad which is few a far between now adays, as for loans her loans shouldn't be based any think off stepdads income it shouldn't even be mentioned when applying unless her mum earns nothing and her dad earn nothing, in which case that will happen unfortunitly it will default to the only income of the household from he mum side but otherwise it should be based on her mum side of income and dads side unless mum isn't work then your kinda buggered, ☹️

Yeah I totally agree with the step dad looking after his own stuff and to be honest it is understandable to an extent but this guy has just sold his business for millions I just can’t comprehend how he can be so tight. Her mum is an accountant so will be earning at least 50k, and her dad is a lawyer on 100k+. So I think regardless of the step dad both her parents are still earning over the threshold for any extra maintenance loan. So really I think it just comes down to her parents not helping, and therefore the flawed system this country uses to decide who gets what. Speaking to my parents about it they are shocked at how her parents are, like I’m lucky to get 8k of grandparents but my parents would be ready to step up to the plate if I didnt. i guess it’s just different types of people, my parents pay to take her on holiday with us, meals out, even said she could stay at our house rather than pay £7 a day at hers, and her parents are the opposite. They would never pay for anything for me, or her.

I graduate this summer, she has one year left. I’m just dreading next year when she’s gonna be living with a friend and paying her own rent . I tried to make it clear that it’s gonna be a shock and she’s gonna have to earn a lot more money next year.