The Student Room Group

I need help with my “relationship”,

I’m 17F, and at school a friend of mine and I decided to download bumble for fun. I put myself as 18 yo ofc, my friend swiped for me and I did it for her, we never really talked to anyone.

One day I was bored and I swiped this 29yo male, we talked for a bit and he still thought I was 18, we swapped numbers. I told him when we did so I was 17 but I’m turning 18 this year, he was ok with that as I am already mature for my age due to past things.

We met up the first time, he seemed very nice, we aligned good and nothing was wrong, I felt comfortable and we had a fun time.

Second time we met it was also fun (we talked about past relationships, and I started those conversations) however, he tried to kiss me, I went in for a awkward hug, he said sorry multiple times. I said it was ok but that he should think the next time. He NEVER said “let’s keep this a secret” or smth like that. Plus this is the time my mum met him, normally she’s very sketchy with men but she seemed chill, I normally also hang out with older guys since my mum is also friends with them.

We met up a third time, and we talked about our situation, I am 17 almost 18 but mentally I’m older. We both know there is something between us, we both do like each other. I suggested to wait until I’m 18/19 so we could figure **** out and he understood. However, he did say “it’s also hard for me to be with a 17 yo” (I picked this up as a reverse psychology).

I’ve never felt unsafe with him, or in danger, he really respects my boundaries and I can really open up with him. I think myself it is ok since I’m turning 18 this year anyways but I would find it weird myself if I turned 18 next year yk?

I want to know what you guys think, like he thought I was 18 but I’m tuning 18 this year but I’m still 17. Would he still have swiped me if I was 17 on bumble? (His past relationships he dated woman his age + older)

I have searched up many things on how grooming works but I can’t tell if this is grooming or smth else, I feel safe with him and he’s nice and totally respects my boundaries. I personally don’t think he’s grooming me as I don’t have the feeling he is in some sort of way.

Let me know what you think
Reply 1
Have you asked him why, as a 29yo, he's dating a 17yo?
Reply 2
Original post by Surnia
Have you asked him why, as a 29yo, he's dating a 17yo?

Yes, that was the first thing that came to my mind. He said that it doesn’t sound like he’s talking to a 17 yo, (we’re also not dating still in the talking phase or what ever idk)

We align very well, and have also deep conversations so not really bland convos you have with an other 17yo, he also said that age can sometimes be a number which I can understand but also I’m still considered a minor even if I’m turning 18 this year. My point was to say that we should wait both until I’m 18 and he accepted that.
Reply 3
Original post by Tommy20
Add me


Wdym?
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous
Yes, that was the first thing that came to my mind. He said that it doesn’t sound like he’s talking to a 17 yo, (we’re also not dating still in the talking phase or what ever idk)
We align very well, and have also deep conversations so not really bland convos you have with an other 17yo, he also said that age can sometimes be a number which I can understand but also I’m still considered a minor even if I’m turning 18 this year. My point was to say that we should wait both until I’m 18 and he accepted that.

You are meeting up and talking, including serious topics; sounds like dating to me? However, he avoided the issue and hasn't answered the question of why he can't find a women closer to his own age who can bring more to a relationship, like life experience and money. It's very one-sided at the moment.
Reply 5
Original post by Surnia
You are meeting up and talking, including serious topics; sounds like dating to me? However, he avoided the issue and hasn't answered the question of why he can't find a women closer to his own age who can bring more to a relationship, like life experience and money. It's very one-sided at the moment.


It’s kinda dating, well it actually is… I understand what you mean. Well he has dated woman closer his age, he just got out of a toxic relationship that ended a year ago. I just happened to come in his path, he said it’s funny how life works in some way and that you can really decide who you’re attracted to and who you’re not. So that’s about it atm, when I see him again I’ll ask him in person as I asked over messages the last time.

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