creative writing

My creative writing exam is tomorrow and I was wondering if someone could mark and give some feedback!
In the early days of Year 3, it seemed as if friendships would last forever. Take me and my best friend Khadija; our bond was forever knit in the tapestry of our many school friendships. I still vividly recall the sleepless nights we spent, yet apart, in our rooms snuggled under our cushy duvets giggling, smiling, gossiping into our Barbie walkie talkies. And not to forget our games of ‘It’ which left us breathless on the climbing frame - the ultimate view of the playground.
It was a pleasant sight... A football pitch to the far left,ridden with muddy footprints; each a capsule for the memories of the intense football games.The blades of grass swaying in the warm spring breeze, spreading its earthy aroma throughout the playground.To the very back,hidden by the protective arms of the sycamore trees was the school garden.Despite its unkempt appearance,I couldn't help but feel drawn to its quaint beauty,only truly understood by those who could crack its puzzling code.The algae brimmed lakes,the abandoned shed at the back,(once used for endless hours of bird watching),the way time seemed to hold its breath the second you were embraced by the trees welcoming arms. It all seemed to be my second home. My serene sanctuary. Me and Khadija would go there often while the teachers ignorantly had their heads turned…In fact it was where we first made our mark on the tapestry of friendships!
However,soon enough,the ever beating heart of our companionship grew still …
The fatal incident ironically occurred in the place that I felt the most passionate about : the garden. As we sat calmly upon the climbing frame,admiring the illustrious view, I hastily clung to her red frayed jumper urging her, pleading her, to come with me to my special place.At first a look of confusion and lack of acquiescence was evidently plastered across her pale face,however as we sprinted through the bustling crowd of students, i could sense her blossoming exhilaration as her stern expression melted into a subtle smile. Moments after we reached the boundary between a boredom and bountiful thrill,which stood in the form of the impenetrable wall of sycamore trees. After years of camaraderie, they revealed a small opening among the thorny brambles,allowing a safe passage inside…
At once, we were met with the ethereal presence of the colossal oak tree which stood at the very epicentre, perhaps for thousands or maybe even million years. It was an inviolable tradition that I would conquer the great tower of bark and bundles of leaves and sit atop,looking down upon the array of foliage down below.
“I had to share this experience with her “ I thought to myself as I approached the rough surface of the rind, familiarising myself with its craggy texture with my fingertips.
I extended my hand onto the nearest branch and hoisted myself up. One by one I vanquished each branch, each leaf,each stem,while she watched in awe. I couldn't help but turn a brilliant hue of red as I reached the breathtaking summit,sitting upon a sturdy-enough tree branch.
“How can you even do that!?” she asked, eyes peering up at me, glinting like stars with boundless admiration.
I shrugged shyly,her kind words thawing the bitter shackles of frost bound tightly to my heart “I dunno to be honest – ”
“ Teach me!Teach me!” she replied eagerly.
Now you must understand that my friend was not the most cautious of people. It felt like almost everyday she would spend her break times in the nurse’s office with a wet paper towel for a grazed knee or a cooling ice pack for her bumped head. But then again,How could I refuse her? A friend like her. A friend who had built an absolute trust in me. I just couldn’t! After a brief moment of contemplation, I instructed her to lift herself onto the nearest bough,like doing rock climbing like we did last summer.
“Now, try to take it one step at a time and remember to look upwards,not down”.purposely emphasising on “not down”.
I could see her expression change dramatically from determination to absolute dread, the once vibrant leaves now wore a delicate cloak of glistening frost. Her breathing quickened,legs rocking side to side.The frost nipped at my fingertips and latched onto the earth like a dog to an unchewed bone.One step up…She swayed in an awkward dance.Nevertheless, I remained firm in my belief in her.The wind moaned miserably enough to sweep her off her frozen feet with its robust might.Another step up…her already-broken-confidence wavering into complete helplessness.But before I could advise her to come down, all of her progress cascaded before me as her body met the floor with a jarring thud.
I cringed as the haunting sound reverberated through the trees.What had I done? Our friendship was now merely a pile of rags and tatters which left a gaping,irrecoverable tear in the sacred tapestry. Cries of the frigid wind seemed to halt and the only audible thing was the unsettling silence that followed. The mournful gaze of the sycamore trees pierced through the depths of my soul,as my eyes fell to reveal her body splayed in an impossibly contorted manner. A gush of crimson spilled from her auburn hair,tainting its wavy locks which covered her visage. I waited patiently for what seemed like hours for something.Anything.Anything to mend the broken bond in the cloth filled with all the memories ,the laughs,the nights we spent.But nothing came to aid the ever growing ache in my heart, the shackles once again tying about my life,knowing that I let her fall.How could I have been so foolish? So impetuous?
But more importantly, how was I going to explain such an incident?All I could think about was running. Just run
And that's exactly what i did...

I hate to not give you any constructive feedback but I honestly wouldn't know what to say. It's a great story with a heart! I'm no examiner but I think this would easily get 35+ marks and is significantly better than many "grade 9 examples" I've seen. Good luck tomorrow, it's gonna be a blast.