gcse creative writing english language feedback

reposted to boost bc i have an exam tmrw-
I was wondering if anybody could give me any feedback on my creative writing and what I could do to improve it
It’s been 201 days. 201 days without feeling the warm embrace of my dear family. 201 days of not knowing the once familiar feeling of sea air delicately brushing against my skin. 201 days trapped within these four confining walls of prison. But today… it is time to escape.
I step outside, engulfed by a blanket of silence around me, only sometimes disturbed by the mechanical whir of the watch tower, the one that is attempting to trace my every move. The air stabs my skin like 1000 knives, causing the hairs on my delicate arm to stand up. As I walk outside, brown footprints remain behind me as the only evidence that exists of where I have been. But, as quickly as they appear behind me, a blanket of fog quickly washes them away.
I squint, searching for where I can go, my eyes darting and my heart quickly beating within me. The clouds are heavy tonight, which is fitting for my escape, fitting for me hiding from the life I wish to never see again. Suddenly, a large cement wall appears outside of the thick canopy of clouds. A layer of barbed wire is perched upon it, reaching out to me and longing to draw blood from my snow-white hands. As I examine the grand wall, I realise that there is simply nowhere to go… but under.
I stare at the dry and cracked soil that my feet are perched on and realise that this will not be an easy task. However, I know that I have no choice because while this escape is everything that I should not do it is also the only way that I can survive so… I begin to dig. Firstly, just a small hole emerges, not large enough for me to get through but symbolic of the path I will take. I continue digging and quickly my nails become home to dirt, the tips of my fingers turn blue and bulging blisters appear on my fingers. I know, deep inside that this is the sacrifice I must take for my heart to continue beating. For me to live a fulfilling life.
After what feels like a lifetime, a dark, claustrophobic hole emerges, just about big enough for my frame to fit through. I begin crawling and my knee is painted blue, like a writer’s ink spilling across parchment.
I think back to when I was a little kid, crawling on the soft and cushioned floor of my house. This is different. This is serious.
A bright white light appears before me. “Is this heaven?” I think to myself “or have I actually made it”. The white light turns into warmth radiating over my body and I realise that this is it. This is what I have been waiting for. I slowly embark outside, my heart now beating quickly not out of fear, but out of excitement.
As I stand up, I notice the sun smiling down on me, the plethora of plants on the now fertile soil and I feel a rivulet descend upon my smile. A large shadow of the prison attempts to engulf me but I step outside of it and take the step to freedom. I should be in there, living the same mundane life but I defied against that. I escaped. So now…
201 days later, I am finally free.