The Student Room Group

Nobody cares about me

Last night we were at the pub. I was in the corner at the table and everyone just turned to talk to the person next to them, so I was sat there feeling useless. I went for a smoke but halfway through decided going back in would change nothing, especially when I was so deflated already, so I just left feeling like a loser on the way.

I was really let down that nobody decided to text and see where I went. It almost sounds attention seeking but I genuinely didn't feel like sitting around more feeling awkward, and once I left naturally them not having any reaction makes me continue to feel invisible in the group.

It hurts a lot because they're the only people I know and go out with, and I liked to think they valued me more than someone tagging along. I wish I was as close as they were, texting and going out with each other outside of the group stuff. I don't want to lose them but this is quite an awkward spot I've fallen into.

It doesn't help I have a massive crush on one of them. He's clearly not interested but I just wanted to be good friends, and him not turning around to talk to me once was the main reason I was felt so disappointed. It's annoying because us two and a guy were having a smoke, that guy brought up how I'm still closeted and my crush said he felt sad that I was ashamed of my sexuality, how I should be proud of it and everything. My heart melted and it felt as if he cared about my feelings. It's been like this a few times, he shows a tiny bit of affection, my brain goes crazy and I crash when he doesn't seem to care as much as I thought.

So suddenly I feel all isolated and depressed again and don't know what I should do. I wish all this didn't happen and I didn't feel as unlovable. I've been on many meds and they don't do much. And not like now when I'm feeling even worse I can just take more of them.
Sounds like a communication skills and expectation management issue.

Contact your student wellbeing and support services and GP if you are feeling isolated and depressed.
Original post by Anonymous
Sounds like a communication skills and expectation management issue.
Contact your student wellbeing and support services and GP if you are feeling isolated and depressed.


Don’t say that. “Communications and expectations management issue” is an ******* thing to say. Obviously this guy expected his FRIENDS to, I don’t know, CARE? Some of you need to escape that wormhole of textbooks and actually go outside.
People aren't psychic and may not pick up on cues in a busy setting.

Crowded night, person withdraws, absence isn't noted, nothing personal unless you make it so.

Could have moved seats, could have accepted without alarm that crush wasn't into them and been more philosophical about it, can find a more suitable friendship group.
I can definitely sympathise with you, loneliness and isolation can be suffocating feelings, especially when you're friends are right there. It wouldn't be a bad idea to contact your GP about feeling depressed, although the response can vary by GP (maybe different medication?). To speak quite personally, I found loneliness helpful in finding my own identity and of course it was really difficult and the lowest I'd ever been but in retrospect, I'm glad I had to go through it. I know who my real friends are, and who I am. I'm comfortable being alone and doing things by myself where I wasn't before. so if you have to stick through this for a while, there's a light at the end of the tunnel! I can promise you'll find your people one day, or these people might be your people and it's a rough patch. things work out! Rejection from a crush is always a hard thing to get over, especially if it's not always clear so I sympathise with that too. sorry haha! I think I rambled on about myself, but I'm just trying to say I've been there and I got through it! Don't forget you can contact helplines like Samaritans, sometimes just talking to someone can help, I used to call my parents more regularly back then, but I understand not everyone has the same relationship with their folks! I hope you get through this! I wish you all the best
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
I can definitely sympathise with you, loneliness and isolation can be suffocating feelings, especially when you're friends are right there. It wouldn't be a bad idea to contact your GP about feeling depressed, although the response can vary by GP (maybe different medication?). To speak quite personally, I found loneliness helpful in finding my own identity and of course it was really difficult and the lowest I'd ever been but in retrospect, I'm glad I had to go through it. I know who my real friends are, and who I am. I'm comfortable being alone and doing things by myself where I wasn't before. so if you have to stick through this for a while, there's a light at the end of the tunnel! I can promise you'll find your people one day, or these people might be your people and it's a rough patch. things work out! Rejection from a crush is always a hard thing to get over, especially if it's not always clear so I sympathise with that too. sorry haha! I think I rambled on about myself, but I'm just trying to say I've been there and I got through it! Don't forget you can contact helplines like Samaritans, sometimes just talking to someone can help, I used to call my parents more regularly back then, but I understand not everyone has the same relationship with their folks! I hope you get through this! I wish you all the best

Thanks. I've been on every med ever so the GP said there's nothing else he could do. I've been lonely most of uni but it's not a kind of pain you get used to.

I don't mind being on my own itself, if anything you can imagine I'm more of an introvert so I don't mind spending half the day alone. It's a pain when you don't have anyone to spend time with though and feel dejected and all. It's so likely to spiral into me feeling worse about myself and being less able to connect with people. I'm not sure what I should do here, it's hard to pretend nothing happened but otherwise I'd just fade out of the group.

Quick Reply