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Eng lang gcse

Hi, today question is about a disagreement. I wrote about the nice weather in a the first paragraph, introducing the character(Mary) and wrote that she is depressed and sad. Then for the third paragraph I flashback to what happened.I talked about the weather changed, her mum shouted at her, ask her why she cheat and slap her. I wrote she scream and lie at the floor and her mum slap her again. Then I wrote her is out of control and so stabbed her mum. For the flashback Mary didn’t say a word I only described what she did. Then I back it back and say she is living in darkness right now. Did I go out of the topic? Like does it count as a disagreement? Thanks!
(edited 5 months ago)
Original post by Sumikko
Hi, today question is about a disagreement. I wrote about the nice weather in a the first paragraph, introducing the character(Mary) and wrote that she is depressed and sad. Then for the third paragraph I flashback to what happened.I talked about the weather changed, her mum shouted at her, ask her why she cheat and slap her. I wrote she scream and lie at the floor and her mum slap her again. Then I wrote her is out of control and so stabbed her mum. For the flashback Mary didn’t say a word I only described what she did. Then I back it back and say she is living in darkness right now. Did I go out of the topic? Like does it count as a disagreement? Thanks!

it looks like you have over complicated the story part the examiners don't mark on creative writing it is the techniques and word choice and SPAG, so a simple story with paragraphing and good techniques used would have been fine, as long as you sign posted your story and the examiners know what is going in the story it showed be fine, but if the examiners get lots then you loose a lot of marks as students tend to drift of into their imagination and the examiners are left to infer what they are talking about this is why signposting is important.

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