If you used Clearing in 2024, how did you find it?

Why do I feel so jealous all the time

I'm 18, I got my first boyfriend in January and we were together until April. I had a serious problem with retroactive jealousy about his ex, even though he told me he didn't want her anymore and I believed him. Even though I believed it I just kept feeling obsessive about her, imagining them together and wondering every time we did something if he'd done it with her and better.

We broke up for something unrelated and I thought the jealousy would go away, but it's still there and sometimes worse - tonight I looked at her instagram and of two girls he once had a thing with but didn't date. I even looked up the ex of a different boy I talked to for about 2 weeks before getting ghosted. I can't place what feeling it gives me, I just feel sick and sad and I don't know what's causing this or if it's normal - I feel insane and like I wish I'd just never started dating.

Reply 1

Surnia

It's not normal to be so obsessed with someone's past.

A lot of people you meet will have a dating history - you do now - so either you'll have to limit your options and get with someone who has never dated (unlikely) or accept that exes are a natural part of life. Imagine if you met a guy you really liked and he thought you were amazing, but he rejected you for your few weeks of having had a boyfriend; why get upset over something you have no control over when you can be enjoying the relationship you are in?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by Surnia

It's not normal to be so obsessed with someone's past.
A lot of people you meet will have a dating history - you do now - so either you'll have to limit your options and get with someone who has never dated (unlikely) or accept that exes are a natural part of life. Imagine if you met a guy you really liked and he thought you were amazing, but he rejected you for your few weeks of having had a boyfriend; why get upset over something you have no control over when you can be enjoying the relationship you are in?

I know it's not normal that's why I was so upset. It isn't a deliberate feeling and I wouldn't turn someone down for their past, or judge someone for it - I know the issue isn't with them, that was not the point of my post. Also our breakup was unrelated.

Reply 3

Mr_Pizza

Original post by Anonymous

Relax your mind please. Focus on yourself only, don't try start another relationship until you are fixed with your mannerisms. It should be yourself you're obssessed with - healthily.